


Agent Oblivion

by Stardust_Steel



Series: Eclipse [1]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: BAMF Vegeta, BAMF goku, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, M/M, Mental Link, Protective Goku, Protective Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Redemption, Sad Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Saiyan Culture, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Smart Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Tails, Temporary Character Death, Vegeta being Vegeta (Dragon Ball), hand-holding, it's going to be a lot of wrong before things get right, kakavege, less slow burn and more two idiots on fire, merus lowkey ships them, sad Goku, these boys gotta earn their relationship, tumblr: kakavegeweek, vegeta and goku really care for each other and it shows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 70,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27174917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardust_Steel/pseuds/Stardust_Steel
Summary: Six months after the events of Buu saga, Vegeta disappears overnight. He joins the Galactic Patrol using a new identity and alias, in an attempt at redemption for his past.Goku is left yearning, wondering at the status of their relationship.A new threat targets Earth after 3 years. Vegeta reluctantly returns to help, while maintaining his disguise.Goku finds this stranger weirdly familiar...A Secret Identity fic.
Relationships: Son Goku & Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Series: Eclipse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2159427
Comments: 461
Kudos: 217
Collections: Baby Buu’s Favs, Thunder & Lightning





	1. The Wicked Get No Rest

**Author's Note:**

> I'm "stardust-steel" on Tumblr or "stardust_steel" on Instagram, I'd love to chat any db/kakavege/life things with you :) come find me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegeta leaves to make amends for his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter is very Vegeta heavy because I am setting the background, but Vegeta thinks of the others a lot. There will be significantly more Goku from after this point on ;)
> 
> I consciously chose to write it more from a tell, not show POV, because I wanted you as readers to get a sense of how much Vegeta is trying to detach himself from what is going on. He is actually miserable, the poor baby, but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it so he distances and numbs himself, as though he is an outside observer.  
> A bit nervous because this started out as a oneshot idea, sprouted legs and wings and now I’m suddenly in a different universe. The tone is more somber than what I planned, too, but that’s where we need Goku to help bring some of his sunshine and shake Vegeta out of his self-punishing tendencies! :D

Six months after the final fight against Kid Buu, Vegeta exiles himself from Earth.

He tells no one, but makes the necessary arrangements beforehand.

He first makes things right by Bulma. This dying thing between them since he turned Majin, he puts to rest. She has given him nothing but good when he had nothing except the clothes on his back, and he has repaid her cruelly, by breaking her heart, trying to throw her and Trunks away, firing at the stands when he knew she would be exactly an inch away from his blast. She deserves better than him, he says. He has wronged her grievously, betrayed her affections in a way worse than Yamcha ever has.

Things will never again be the same between them after his betrayal. Could never be the same again. His own wrongs had sealed that fact. Vegeta had just enough of the tattered remnants of his pride to promise himself that he would not disgrace her honour by trying to return to something romantic. She deserves so much better, the kind of love he would never be able to give. 

Bulma initially shouts and throws things and even begs him to give them one more try, but Vegeta is firm. He will not dishonour her trust and affections by allowing her to forgive him. He does not deserve her. She eventually calms down enough to look at him sadly, and Vegeta understands then how deeply he must have hurt her with his actions as Majin, even as she tries her best to insist he is forgiven.

Even as she obstinately insists that it is in the past and that this will not be an issue for their future, Vegeta knows some things can not be mended. Eventually they come to the agreement that yes, they work better together without romance. 

Vegeta is not good at showing anything of his heart (how could he be? He has never been shown how) but he tries to care for Bulma in his own way still. She is the mother of his child, and thus deserves all the respect, honour and protection it demands.

He spends some good few hours everyday with Trunks. Vegeta is not good with words and never desired to be, but he tries to make up for it with action. He makes sure the boy knows he is a source of pride and is deeply loved, not in so many words, but in every spar, in every ruffle. A son fit for any father, a prince fit to be any King. 

He spends the final day before his departure sparring with Kakarot. As he has done almost everyday since they reunited with their families after Kid Buu was destroyed.

The perceptive idiot that is his rival seems to sense something is off, and tries multiple ploys from needling, teasing, taunting, and outright asking, to get Vegeta to talk. Vegeta deflects continuously, trading barbs and banter with the younger saiyan. Kakarot is good at needling him and bright enough to catch him off guard, but his stubbornness is more than matched by Vegeta’s.

They continue to banter as they spar. Finally Kakarot shakes his head and laughs. Vegeta knows Kakarot above all people would understand that some things just cannot be spoken about. With a playful tilt of head to the side, the younger saiyan lets Vegeta off with a quiet sincere smile that makes something in Vegeta’s chest go tight, and an offer of being there to “talk”, should Vegeta ever want to, or “punch each other purple until we forget about everything else- that works too!” 

And that particular moment, with the sunset sky highlighting the raven spikes of Kakarot’s hair and setting his lighter skin alight in shades of gold and fire, Vegeta fully realises the emotion that is in his heart. And he backs away.

Vegeta had known even before that point in time that he will miss this kind dumb idiot that is his rival. But it is something he had actively avoided admitting, until that exact second. When he realises that he will miss Kakarot more than platonic feelings made appropriate. That is a thought too dangerous and one he cannot afford to have on the eve of his leaving. So he takes one moment to memorise Kakarot’s features (as if he could ever forget...) then he turns away without a word to Kakarot and flies off, before he can no longer convince himself to do so.

It is a long time coming, acknowledging his feelings for the other saiyan. There has been no specific moment or action, only less resistance on Vegeta’s part and more presence on Kakarot’s, over the last three months as opposed to the last seven years. The fight against Buu had drawn their forever circulating orbit crashing resoundingly into each other's gravity, and it was no longer possible to escape. 

Slowly over three months Vegeta had gotten to know Kakarot better, Kakarot with his smart mouth and kind eyes and dragon heart of courage and compassion. The way he looks at every new challenge as an adventure rather than a death sentence. The mischievous innocence he embodies, the _fundamental good_ that he is. 

The naive idiocy, too. He couldn’t give Kakarot too much credit.

Vegeta knows that the younger saiyan is drawn to him as well, perhaps has known for a while. It is in every lingering gaze, every teasing word, every anticipation of their next spar. Their recent fusion has only compounded their natural chemistry. So it is not without some regret that Vegeta leaves, but also with a firm conviction that he is right in cutting this precious, fragile thing before he ends up destroying it in his proud, tainted, wicked hands.

It is not just his interactions with Kakarot that Vegeta will miss. Kakarot may have had an absent nature when it comes to family, the way only a saiyan could be, but he is also capable of deep love. In the three months since Buu, Vegeta has seen Kakarot attempt his best to make up for all the lost time with his youngest son. Even Vegeta’s cold, decrepit little heart is warmed watching some of their antics. 

Kakarot has also broken away from his wife on good terms and mutual agreement. Apparently, being dead for seven years can do things like this to a human marriage. Vegeta doesn’t understand it, as saiyans mate for life and death, but he does not pry. His planet’s culture is nothing but stardust now. Yet despite the separation, Kakarot is more present than ever in parenting and family gatherings. True to what can be expected from the kind-hearted saiyan, he does not ever exclude Trunks and treats him almost as a third son, to the point Vegeta is assured that he is leaving his family in good hands. 

It kills Vegeta a little inside that as a direct outcome of his exile, he will no longer be able to witness more of their family bonding.

But he himself threw away that right.

Vegeta tells no one his plans. He quietly takes flight in the dead of the night with Kibito Kai’s assistance. He bargains with King Kai (who has now earned the dubious honour of the nickname Insect Face) for help, and just… leaves. Leaves Earth, the place he’d tried to blow up, come to love and tried to save, in some attempt at atonement.

_“If you can tell me a good joke, I will help you,” King Kai says._

_Vegeta doesn’t even miss a beat. “My life.”_

_There was a beat of silence. “What?” King Kai says eventually._

_“My life is a cosmic joke. Plenty of comedic material to keep you entertained,” Vegeta tells him seriously, deadpan expression and tone._

_King Kai Insect-face is silent for a moment longer, then he begins to crack up._

_At least, Vegeta thinks, the twin forces of sarcasm and pride will always be in his arsenal of weapons._

_He demands for any and all of the things and people related to the Kais to maintain their silence- KibitoKai, the lecherous thing that was the Old Kai, Yemma, whatever. He puts on his most arrogant , royal mask and challenges them. It is the least they owe to him for all the crap he had to put up with in fighting Buu, despite being dead and technically at peace at the time._

And with that, Vegeta leaves the (second) home he has come to love, almost destroyed in his selfishness, and almost gave his third life to save.

King Kai gifts him with a crimson coloured pendant (what is it with the Kais and jewellery, anyway?) which originally had served the function to manipulate the flow of energy between realms. King Kai waxes lyrical about how important the item is due to its link to the factions of Godly establishment and how it is not an honour bestowed upon just **_anyone_ ** , but Vegeta isn’t just **_anyone_ **; he is the prince of all saiyans, and moreso, he doesn’t particularly give a shit. About godly status, sanctified jewellery or whatever drivel they have going on- he cares for none of it. In Vegeta’s gloved hands, it is now a tool to help obfuscate his Ki.

It makes it impossible to trace Vegeta’s whereabouts, so he doesn’t have to worry about any annoying Kakarots popping out of thin air to drag him back.

* * *

Three months of aimless wandering from planet to planet yielded nothing, no sense of purpose, only a quiet desperation to find a way to pay for his sins.

Then one day, by random chance, the truly backwater, dying mudball of a vermin planet he’d stopped at for stocks is attacked by space pirates, former PTO soldiers. Vegeta rises to fight,not out of any affection for the locals, but out of a sense of duty and dejavu. He had been on the other side previously, after all. He knew exactly how their modus operandi played out.

It is a laughably quick victory, but the twist comes at the end. The Galactic Patrol, apparently an intergalactic federation formed to uphold justice and peace (and Vegeta rolls his eyes, because how many times has he heard a variation of that particular phrase?) descends upon them to clean up the mess the ex-soldiers left behind.

Vegeta is brought in for questioning re his potential involvement with the planet’s siege. He is not there to seek trouble, so he decides to play nice and acts agreeable. Barely. As agreeable as a Vegeta could be.

The agent who brings him in for questioning, Merus, is clearly amused by his thinly held back aggression and short, one-word answers. Vegeta is mistrustful of this Merus and wary of his intentions, as he is unable to sense the agent’s ki, which never bodes well. Also, something about the light pastel coloring of Merus' skin, albino hair and purple-silver eyes makes him uneasy. The aura is not necessarily ominous, but it is similar to what he had felt in the vicinity of the Kaio-Shin before they revealed their actual selves, and thus puts him on guard. 

Merus _could_ be suppressing his ki, but Vegeta’s instincts strongly tell him that this is not the case. It doesn’t help that the Kai’s crimson pendant he wears seems to glow at the agent’s proximity, as if in recognition. Merus’ eyes alight on the pendant several times over the interrogation, but he never actually queries after it, which makes Vegeta even more suspicious.

At the end Vegeta requests that they keep the incident quiet, or at least his involvement in it. This is not altruism. He is fairly confident that such a backwater place would have not recognized him, even given his big past reputation in PTO circles. Enough time has passed that the terror of Vegeta, the Prince of Destruction, is a faded memory, maybe only 10 years on Earth but 34 solar flares in the InterGalactic Standard equivalent. 

However, he would not take the chance that someone from the Galactic Patrol would leak the news and inevitably cause the message to reach Earth. Especially given that when he last left things, Bulma had just begun to establish contact with some klutzy alien from the Galactic Patrol named Jaco.

Merus looks at him then, with silver-purple eyes that are too wise and seeing for a mortal, more befitting of an omniscient celestial being. And Vegeta realises with chilling certainty that Merus _knows._ Knows what Vegeta is. Knows the weight of his mistakes and what he runs from.

The prince tries to leave. But Merus stops him. Things get violent, and after valiant struggle, Merus manages to paralyse him. Vegeta does not go down without a fight, and feels vindictively pleased that Merus will be feeling that arm for the next two weeks, probably experiencing significant difficulty in walking too. 

(Un)Surprisingly, Merus is less unhappy and more impressed. He plays his bargains. _Join the Galactic Patrol,_ he coaxes, as Vegeta glares from the floor and tries to pulverise him with his eyes. No such luck - it never worked on the anyone formidable on the Dragon Team, it wouldn’t work on one like this. _We could use someone like you._

 _I’m not looking to be_ **_used,_ ** Vegeta spits.

Merus is unbothered, but his eyes are sympathetic, and see way too much, like a certain Earth-raised saiyan. It is unbearable and Vegeta has to turn away.

 _I can see you drowning in your mistakes and regrets,_ the agent says softly, kindly, for a moment too much like Kakarot. Vegeta feels the breath go out of him. _You’re looking for redemption. A place to do some good. There’s a lot worse places than here._

Vegeta puts up some token struggle after that, but there isn’t much point to it when he doesn’t know what he is fighting for or against.

The Galactic Patrol fits his agenda perfectly. It isn’t Earth, but that is his fault. Earth tried to accept and welcome him, tried to change him and show him what it meant to have roots and love. But Vegeta threw it all away in one moment of lust for power. 

And the warrior’s honour he had demanded he pay retribution for it, before he even dreams to set foot on Earth again.

The wicked get no rest, so Vegeta will work himself to the bone and then some.

* * *

In an attempt to gain Vegeta’s trust, perhaps, Merus reveals his background to Vegeta as they travel in the ship back to the Galactic Patrol HQ. Vegeta comes to learn that his earlier wariness is correct: Merus is an **actual** angel, currently under training by the Grand Minister and sent to the Galactic Patrol in order to learn about the lives of mortals. It explains a lot: his lack of ki, his recognition of the godly-revered pendant around Vegeta’s neck, his lack of need for food and sleep for survival, his almost chilling calm.

“What are you looking for, warrior?” Merus asks him seriously as he takes him through their orientation.

Vegeta doesn’t like the prod, but he appreciates Merus’ tact in not using his real name or title in the public space of the Galactic Patrol’s corridors.

Vegeta gazes steadily back. He doesn’t bother with mind games. “I know you know.” Now that he fully knows that there is more to Merus than meets the eye, not just physical power, he is certain Merus knows more than he lets on. Like the Kaio Shin who could read minds. Vegeta may have stripped away his identity, but he has not lost his shrewdness.

The agent pauses, then nods once, confirming his statement. “I have senses and my ways of knowing, but it is better to hear it from the person themselves in their own words,” Merus says. “It builds trust, and avoids misalignment of expectations.” 

Frankly, Vegeta is uninterested in the first part, but understands and appreciates the need for the need for the second. So when Merus asks again, respectfully: “Why are you here, and not back where you belong? Atonement, redemption, hope?” he does not shoot the question down immediately.

Vegeta is silent. Atonement is a cleansing, beautiful word in concept, but not in practice. It requires one to burn all of their life away to become something else, something cleaner and newer. No one ever speaks about this aspect but Vegeta knows it. He is not afraid of the flames, but atonement is a word that is stuck on his tongue. It does not feel right for him.

Redemption means there is a chance for forgiveness. For wiping the slate clean. Vegeta is not looking for forgiveness, because forgiveness isn’t something he deserves, and his slate is blackened char of ash - there is nothing left to wipe.

Hope is Mirai Trunks’ word and quest, and the very least of what his noble future son deserves. Not Vegeta. 

Merus’ question triggers something Vegeta has been trying to avoid all this time. The prince searches himself. Why was he in exile? 

His honour as a warrior would not allow him to stay on earth and enjoy life as though he has done nothing wrong, not tried to desecrate all the good that has been given to him, not nearly caused its destruction. 

Suicide is not a way out, as all it would do is absolve him of his crimes. 

Vegeta honestly thinks there is no going back on what he has done, there is no long term personal benefit to being a better person. He believes he will go to hell, whether he is good now or not. He doesn’t think there’s any getting out of his crimes and he isn’t even going to try to plead or beg anywhere. He doesn’t deserve it, anyway.

The obvious question is then, why even bother being good? Old Vegeta would definitely have taken this thought and ran away with it. But Old Vegeta was a creature of darkness and destruction, twisted by the ideals of a warrior race subjugated to the whims of a lizard tyrant. A race made servant to said tyrant’s ideals, that they no longer could tell which were their own ideas and which has been drilled into them through fear. Old Vegeta acted like a (proud, free) prince, but was no more than a (proud, child) slave.

Current Vegeta… is broken, but has grown. Does things he feels are right, **because** it is right, because he no longer wants to be the person he used to be. Not for a personal gain, not for the hope of maybe balancing out the scales to go into heaven. 

Vegeta will never admit it aloud, is still too prideful to, but he feels the guilt of what he has done that he does not even ask for happiness or want it for himself, he just wants it to set it right and be forgotten.

Was he then looking to do some tiny amount of correcting some of the impact of his wrongs before he burns away, fade into oblivion? Perhaps. 

The prince is not looking to leave a mark. Not looking to correct his damnation. Just to do a little bit of good and be worthy of some of the good things he received, before he threw it away in a silly bid for more power.

(Vegeta also knows he hasn’t found the right answer, that his answer has holes in its logic. but it does not matter. He feels too empty for it to matter. Some things he will never know and never attain closure for, and that is how life works. He should know.)

Merus is still waiting for a reply. _What are you looking for, warrior? Why are you here?_

Vegeta doesn’t owe him a damn thing, but he owes himself a response, a commitment. “Oblivion,” Vegeta answers instead, in lieu of an actual explanation. Merus frowns at the ridiculously cryptic answer, but where Kakarot or even Bulma might have pushed, Merus lets him off. 

“In that case, I take it you would want anonymity,” Merus says, moving smoothly to the practical bit. Vegeta approves. “We have several agents under our protection program who also require anonymity for their own safety, or that of their families, so this is not unprecedented. We have the technology, equipment and armour to keep your identity secret. But you will have to select a new name.”

And so Vegeta takes on a new name, if it could be called that. Oblivion? Some variation of his own name? He is christened ‘Agent V’ in the end, and it is as good a moniker as any.

Merus looks almost sad at his utter apathy, and Vegeta allows himself to wonder why the universe insists on sticking him with idiots too compassionate for their own power, i.e. Kakarot.

He discards the thought, even as he is aware that they will keep returning. 

It feels a little bit like death and rebirth: Prince Vegeta is dying (again), and a brittle hollow shell takes his place (again.)

Vegeta wonders if this will happen until he has finished balancing his ledger.

 _But the ledger will never be balanced_ , his mind whispers. Even if Vegeta goes about saving the same number of lives he’s taken, or more, a life taken doesn’t equal a life saved. One destroys, the other only helps sustain what is already there. 

* * *

Two years pass.

Vegeta gets lost in the rhythm of missions, cleanup, sleep, eat, train, study diplomacy stuff, avoid breaking someone’s neck or two, repeat. He feverishly throws himself into them, the way he did with his training, working to the bone until he is far too exhausted to think, that deep thoughts elude him.

Some patterns repeat. He quickly rises through the Galactic Patrol’s silly little ranking system, building a reputation as an elite and one of the most efficient, level- headed and powerful officers on the force. 

Vegeta receives a bulky, crimson-lined, off-white armour that he constantly wears. A full covering of a head mask made of similar material slide into place, hiding his true identity.

King Kai’s pendant is always around his neck, in case some third class idiot with a too big heart is still looking for his ki, even after all this time.

Some things remain the same. True to form, Vegeta never joins in stupid team-building activities, using the need to stay anonymous under the protection program as a convenient excuse. On the rare occasions he is dragged into non-mission related bonding shit, he is careful to exhibit a different personality: cool and detached, but cooperative when required.

It is hell, frankly. But, having gotten used to some of the Dragon Team’s antics over the years, he can begrudgingly admit that it isn’t the worst kind of hell there is. Almost amusing. Nothing the other officers on this team does can compare to the cringeworthy things Kakarot has said or done, anyway.

It is a lonely existence, but Vegeta is used to that from Frieza’s ship. Yes, he has had 7 years of reprieve from the loneliness on Earth, forming bonds with Bulma and Trunks, and even Kakarot’s sons and the Namekian. 10 if he counts the years before Kakarot died. It is still not enough to erase how familiar the silence is for him, like slipping on an old glove.

The mornings are the worst and the most disorienting. He dreams often of young laughter and a hopeful, inquisitive gaze; of blue locks and machine oil streaks, of spiky hair and eyes almost too kind and punch-worthy to exist. And he wakes up with an ache in his chest, but Vegeta is nothing if not good at self denial and self punishment.

Agent Merus is every bit the detached, professional Galactic Patrol officer in day to day operations. He is strong in combat, reliable on the battlefield, authoritative on the deck and strict with protocol, but he is soft with Vegeta.  
  
Perhaps Merus sees something in the broken, brittle way Vegeta carries himself. Perhaps Merus feels it too, that search for something elusive he cannot name, to erase what he has done and the person he has become. Vegeta wonders how much of his history Merus knows and sees. He doesn’t really care, as long as Merus keeps his silence.

For all Merus’ decency, Vegeta cannot bring himself to trust the agent. Bulma and Trunks are family and thus should earn his trust by default, but even then there are things he would not confide or leave them with. Truth be told there is only one warrior who has fought, beggared, wrestled and wormed his way into earning Vegeta’s trust, and Kami knew how hard Vegeta fought from allowing it to happen in the first place.

Only a cheeky, thrill-seeking, challenge-loving naive, innocent idiot too caring and forgiving for his own good would have been able to scale the thorned walls, and to peek through the crack in the armour that is Vegeta’s trust and its host of issues.

Luckily Vegeta has taken said idiot out of the equation with his exile. Now his trust is safe in its cold, lonely, impervious little cage, and the armor is built back up to be stronger than ever, and twice as dead.

Two years is both an achingly long and disconcertingly short time. Vegeta does not feel any better or more worthy than when he started. 

Of course Vegeta misses things. He misses Bulma, with her unique blue locks and beautiful demanding eyes. Misses how she is never afraid to call him out on his bullshit. 

He misses Trunks. His son’s shrewd gaze, offset by youthful innocence. The playful mischief untainted by blood-spilling , his pride unmarred by tragedy. A boy any father would be proud to have, befitting of the royal lineage of the saiyan race. To think that something so guileless could come from Vegeta’s blood-tainted existence.

Vegeta is even able to admit that he misses Kakarot. Just a little. Maybe a lot. He misses their spars, brief though the window of time might have been for them to familiarise with each other’s style, and yet. It is like there had never been a Before Kakarot, the way his heart yearns and twists when it got too deep. That is the extent of their special connection, Vegeta supposes.

He misses the idiot's humorous smile and challenging eyes. The lionheart, both in the ferocity of its courage and kindness. Even the innocent simplicity. The fond way he had sometimes looked at Vegeta, though the prince is still unsure if he has imagined the whole thing.

The irony is that it isn’t a truth Vegeta would have examined, much less admitted to himself, had the younger saiyan not been absent from his life now. 

However, Vegeta had spent 7 years prior to the Majin events quietly missing Kakarot, stubbornly telling himself it was something else in self denial. He could live with it. He did live with it.

Bulma and Trunks are terrible aches he isn’t used to missing. Because they have always been right there within reach, not that he has ever appreciated them for it. Until he lost them. Until he chose to lose them.

But Vegeta had lost the right to their affections the moment he chose to throw away their images in his heart and become Majin.

Whether he succeeded or not is not the issue, the point is, he had lost that right.

He certainly didn’t deserve anything better. Hell, as punishments go, this self-imposed was a mild form of it. Even if his heart suffered and died a little bit more each day from just how much he yearns to see them again.

* * *

One particularly exhausting retrieval mission, Vegeta meets a village warrior who is too familiar. Too familiar in that he is silly and playful in times of peace, but absolutely a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield. The jarring contradiction reminds him too much of certain saiyan, and Vegeta stays the **hell** away, only interacting when absolutely necessary.

Vegeta ends up watching the man blow himself up to save his pesky little village. Vegeta stays just long enough to deal with the fallout and chaos, then stumbles back to deck in complete disorientation. Perhaps it is the bone-deep exhaustion, or the familiar way the man’s teal eyes had looked so peaceful as his innards exploded, but Vegeta is close to a breakdown. 

He contemplates going back.

Back where? There was no home for him, just like in the PTO. Only this time, he’d made that choice himself.

“Agent V, prepare to report to deck.” The robotic voice chirped away at him. 

Kakarot would have not. Kakarot would have discarded any and all protocol and gotten away with it. Kakarot would have not even been aware of a protocol, he would probably have fallen asleep.

Kakarot had died with a peaceful, accepting smile, similar to that village warrior, in the battle against Cell. They were both nothing but selfless saviours.

Vegeta had died with the same peaceful smile against Majin Buu. But he was the perpetrator of that tragedy, and a villain. He deserves no such peace.

Vegeta goes to report.

* * *

Very dangerous missions, designated as Code Red, are rare in the Galactic Patrol, given the fleet employed a pool of officers of varied abilities and useful skills, but they did exist. In a hypothetical Dragon team/Earth dictionary, Vegeta would equate Code Red missions to Cell level threat: (D)angerous and destructive to all, but (S)elective in its destruction.

Vegeta gets the brunt of the Code Reds, being one of the most powerful and versatile agents on the ship with the experience to match. And, more importantly, possessing a lack of self preservation that could be slightly alarming to the other officers.

Vegeta really doesn’t care if the others secretly whisper that he is suicidal or masochistic. When push comes to shove, they utilise him anyway, more concerned about the end result than the officer they lose in the process. And it suits Vegeta just fine: the former prince always does his best to survive, uncaring of the actual outcome. 

It truly feels like he is back in the PTO some days, but that is fine too. 

Missions with near certain chance of fatality are designated Code Black. In Earth terms, that equates to ‘we’re fucked: this is Kid Buu level rampant destruction, (D)angerous and (U)nselective, run like hell and pray very hard.’

Vegeta has miraculously had exactly none of these. Perhaps he does have some lucky stars after all, even if they seem to be quite negligent in their job.

He is suiting up for one Code Red mission, when behind him, someone clears their throat. “Agent V, this may not be within my scope,” Merus says quietly, “but I believe you have family on Earth.” 

Vegeta ignores the stab of pain in his heart, and focuses on what Merus is saying. Stab, what stab? “Do you not want to see them at least once before this mission begins its initialization phase?” _Because you may not survive,_ Merus doesn’t say, but the implication is in the words.

A beat of silence for effect, but Vegeta doesn’t truly consider it. He knows that if he ever sees Bulma, Trunks or Kakarot again, it would be too hard to walk away.

“I have more important things to attend to.” Vegeta’s tone is clipped, he tries for uncaring and brusque, and really feels he deserves an award for acting.

But Merus sighs, so maybe no awards are coming. Oh well.

Vegeta knows Merus sees right through him. Of course. Merus’ heart is big, his empathy rivals even Kakarot’s. Vegeta infers this, because he now knows Merus has willingly chosen to become a Galactic patrol agent despite his birthright as a being or nobler status: a _literal_ angel. Kakarot, despite appearances, was only a mortal one.

But both Merus and Kakarot are similar in that their hearts are much too kind for the apathy slash cruelty their respective birthrights demand.

Perhaps Merus’ likeness to Kakarot is why Vegeta naturally gravitates to him.

Vegeta shakes off the unwelcome thought. He has been thinking of Kakarot too much recently. There is no point in such things. 

As if he can read who Vegeta’s mind is revolving around, Merus says, “How about the one named Goku? Do you not wish to speak to him at least once, as your true person?”

His face flames, but Vegeta stays silent. Merus probably knows of Vegeta’s quiet affections for the other saiyan, then. Or at least suspects it. Vegeta would be embarrassed, but what was the point? The ones who it would matter to are people he will never see again, if he has his way. 

Vegeta closes his eyes. Remembers the press of Kakarot’s cheek and temple against his as they attacked Buu together in Buu’s body. Remembers the feel of his back against Kakarot’s chest. The warmth of Kakarot’s frame around his smaller one as they shouted out their battle cry, their energy seamlessly combining together in a beautiful burst of destruction. How, even as Vegeta had immediately squirmed away from the contact, it had felt more reassuring rather than invasive, as it should have been. 

How their fusion felt like some raw broken thing inside him was healing. Even as they supposedly ceased to be separate individuals and became one entity, as much anguish as he had felt, it was also a… relief.

How it was like breathing fully and deeply again after being choked off and gasping shallow for so long.

Like stabbing pains, but healing ones. How it felt like forgiveness and moving forward.

Forgiveness he did not deserve.

Vegeta opens his eyes. “No.” He says simply, resolutely. There was no explanation, no apology. Vegeta does not deserve the space to give any. Merus looks at him with sad angel eyes, but ultimately turns back to the dashboard.

* * *

Spoiler: he survives that Code Red mission. Barely. With the skin of his teeth. Vegeta is still seeing the highlights of his life flashing before his eyes even as he lies in the medbay, gasping for breath, gritting through the pain of his natural saiyan healing. He should probably be alarmed that he was too used to such things to be properly alarmed.

Highlights of life was a funny Earthling turn of phrase, actually, Vegeta muses almost lucidly. He ponders exercising some creative license to rephrase the term ‘highlights.” Perhaps to ‘lowdark’ of his life instead. Lowshades? His life is a tragic dark cosmic joke, after all, something which King Kai seems to agree with.

The former prince’s morbid and nonsensical turn of thoughts is interrupted by the crack of the infirmary door. He grabs for his crimson mask, fearful of someone recognising him, but it turns out to be just Merus poking his head in. 

“Agent V,” Merus says formally. “You are alright?”

“Fine,” Vegeta replies in the same formal vein. Merus’ silver-purple orbs look at him assessingly. The trainee angel is skeptical, perhaps due to having seen Vegeta brush off near fatal wounds like they were papercuts and end up face planting into the floor multiple times. However, he nods and accepts what Vegeta says. 

Vegeta’s heart abruptly aches. Kakarot would have pushed and prodded and whined and needled him. Kakarot would not have stopped until Vegeta would concede to being further examined out of sheer annoyance and wanting to get the caring idiot off his (non-existent) tail (ha.) 

Merus has too much heart for an angel or a patrol officer, and sometimes shows more concern than is appropriate for their career. But he still largely plays by the professional, detached agent rulebook. Tries to, at least. 

Kakarot would have tossed that sense of propriety straight out of the window, probably without even being aware of it existing in the first place.

Then Vegeta reminds himself to be thankful. Thankful for the impersonal, almost cold environment of the Galactic Patrol, so similar to his life in the PTO. You understand you were there as an asset for a greater cause, a number and nothing more. Thus you look out only for yourself. 

Like the PTO. Like Frieza.

The Galactic Patrol is cold and ruthless, just as the PTO had been. This is familiar to Vegeta, and thus reassuring in a bittersweet way. It makes things like boundaries of care and concern clear cut to him, as opposed to between the Dragon Team back on Earth where boundaries had really blurred, criss-crossed sideways and danced its merry way to hell.

It also makes it easier for him to conceal his true identity. Only Merus and the one special doctor assigned to their unit knows Vegeta as who he truly is.

And so Galactic Patrol life goes on, in this living death rendition of his.

* * *

Since leaving Earth, Vegeta has found himself playing more and more with Earthling phrases. He has come to realise that some of them are quite creative. ‘Lucky stars’, for instance. Or ‘no rest for the wicked’. It has become a bit of a game with himself, to see how many situations he can match with an idiom or a phrase. 

It is a way to kill time and not think too deeply about certain things. Almost as if he is observing life from the outside, as a detached, humorous viewer. The numbness is welcome.

Vegeta wonders briefly if Planet Vegeta had turns of phrases and literature as varied as earth, and decides there is no point in exploring those thoughts. He has never done that with the saiyan tongue because it and everything that was Planet Vegeta is less than stardust now.The language will die with him.

But Earth lived on, only he left it behind. And thus it was safe to remember it, to pay tribute to it, to let just a little bit of attachment remain. 

* * *

Another year passes. Vegeta gets tangled in a lot of menial bureaucracy, ridiculous missions, tasks that bore him to near tears, and nearly dies twice more. His life has always been more about regret management than active prevention; tolerance and survival rather than enjoyment and living, anyway. All was fine.

Until one day, Vegeta gets wind of an emergency mission from his colleague that sets his heart racing abnormally quickly for a saiyan heartbeat. 

“We have received a request for help from Agent Jaco. It is a Code Black, and the planet is 4032-877, known locally as Earth.”

Vegeta’s blood runs cold. The armour maintains a certain homeostasis range for his body temperature, so the contrast is even more jarring.

His first instinct is to run to Earth and make sure he is there to protect it from any threat. But that would bring more trouble than he is prepared to deal with- even with armour and the pendant obfuscating his identity, he is not completely certain he can keep up the charade. 

They didn’t need him there. Right?

What if they did, though. 

That was ridiculous. Earth has Kakarot, Gohan, and the rest to protect it. Vegeta has never been needed to throw the final winning shot for anything (indeed, he has never been able to, he thinks bitterly.) They would be fine without him, right?

Code Black, though.

“Agent V is our best,” Merus is saying, “but he is recuperating from the last mission. We will send Agent Skada-“

“No, that won’t be necessary.” Vegeta’s tone is brusque. He can already tell this decision will be his downfall, probably the stupidest decision he has made among his many stupid decisions. But merely standing by waiting for news of the planet inhabited by people he loved enough to leave behind - it will literally kill him, in a way worse than death. So he decides. “I will go to Earth.”

Merus looks at him in mild surprise. His eyes turn into assessing mode. Vegeta humours him by letting him believe Vegeta was waiting for his approval. Then Merus smiles, almost warmly. “Let us see what we can do about your armour and mask,” the trainee angel says. “I will help you in your guise.”

Well, at least Vegeta has one person on his side.

_Vegeta closes his eyes. Remembers the press of Kakarot’s cheek and temple against his as they attacked Buu together in Buu’s body. Remembers the feel of his back against Kakarot’s chest. The warmth of Kakarot’s frame around his smaller one as they shouted out their battle cry, their energy seamlessly combining together in a beautiful burst of destruction. How, even as Vegeta had immediately squirmed away from the contact, it had felt more reassuring rather than invasive, as it should have been._

*image credits to unknown, but please know I take no credit and fully credit you I WANT TO FIND YOU AND DECLARE YOU TO THE WORLD FOR THIS SWEET PICTURE bcos MY HEART

They made this scene funny in DBZ/Kai but I found it both so endearing and hot somehow *fans self*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a Review if you can? It really means a lot to a writer, and to me in general - and keeps me writing. I would wite even without reviews because these characters are my life, but it's just nice to know that someone is seeing the little easter eggs or appreciating some bit.<3 tell me what you liked, what youd like to see more of, etc <3  
> For those asking, my other fic "Call It What you want" is still active, just had this one take me away on an adventure first. Don't worry! they will get their conclusion :)
> 
> Credits to  
> 1.Agent_38_Scribs who gave me the idea for the King Kai - Vegeta interaction (I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU!) and more so, spent a long time chatting to me about how our baby Vegeta thinks he's going to go to hell no matter what & how unfair it is T_T  
> 2.thewingedlady for being the most amazing beta reader  
> 


	2. Inevitable Affection - "Koi No Yokan"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goku's POV of the three years Vegeta mysteriously disappeared, and how his affections for the prince have developed over time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Belated but can I just spazz about the fact that in DBS Broly Bulma literally bought Goku and Vegeta an ISLAND for them to just be with eachother. You can't tell me the woman doesn't know, and isn't supportive. Hahahaha.
> 
> Btw just to answer some queries. This fic diverges from canon. The code black is not Beerus, though he and Whis will make minor appearances at the end of the story. I planned for this fic to have a strong plot but an even stronger focus on KakaVege, Vegeta's atonement & healing, and Goku growing as a person.

“Agent V,” Merus says, “there is some troubling news that I feel you have the right to be privy to, and I feel it is my obligation to inform you.”

Vegeta immediately jumps to his feet, heart in his throat. He doesn’t waste breath on stupid words like ‘What’. There is only one reason Merus would feel the need to engage him.

“We have received a request for help from agent Jaco. It is a Code Black, and the planet is 4032-877*, known locally as Earth.”

Vegeta’s blood runs cold. The armour maintains a certain homeostasis range for his body temperature, so the contrast is even more jarring.

His first instinct is to run to Earth and make sure he is there to protect it from any threat. But that would bring more trouble than he is prepared to deal with- even with armour and the pendant obfuscating his identity, he is not completely certain he can keep up the charade. 

They didn’t need him there. Right?

What if they did, though. 

Earth has Kakarot, Gohan, and the rest to protect it. Vegeta has never been needed to throw the final winning shot for anything (indeed, he has never been able to, he thinks bitterly.) They would be fine without him, right?

Code Black, though.

The likelihood of Earth being destroyed in finality was very slim, given its protectors’ ridiculous tendency of pulling miracles out of their asses. However. If they were to perish, Vegeta would never never be able to live with the regrets.

And Vegeta is cognisant and his pride intact enough to recognise that while he may have never been the one to take the winning shot, almost every one of the Dragon team’s big battles, he has had a crucial role to play in its success. Even if it was a small one. He has changed the tide of the battle several times just by that small thing.

_Hehe, small things shouldn’t be underestimated! You should know better than anyone, Vegeta._

Why the hell is that memory of Kakarot’s fond, teasing smile in his head right now, of all times?! 

Merus is still speaking. “- Jaco there. I planned to send you, Agent V, along with myself and some as support personnel. But considering your ... ah, shall we say, unique… ties with Earth, and that you are still technically in downtime from your last assignment, I will be assigning Agent Skada to this.”

“No, that won’t be necessary,” Vegeta says, surprising Merus and himself.“I will take on this assignment.” 

Wait, what? Ah. Well, he has always been known to make reckless decisions in the times that require the most caution. Somewhere between the receiving news and speaking, apparently something in him has made a call without consulting his brain. “I will go to Earth.”

Merus evidently thinks the same, and gives him a cautious look. “I am concerned about your ability to be impartial,” the trainee angel says carefully.

Vegeta gives him a glare. Never mind that his armour masks it, he has always been known to try push the impossible. “I assume we are to protect Earth, instead of eviscerate it. If that is the case, I have the best knowledge of the place and its weak points, more than anyone on this ship. If we need to make contact with the locals to get their help for battle.” Who was he kidding, as if Kakarot would ever sit out on the opportunity for a fight- “I know their customs.”

Merus nods slowly. “I take your point,” he concedes, “I factored this in myself. However, I must ask.” Vegeta waits.

“Do you intend to maintain secrecy regarding your identity?” Merus pauses, “Prince Vegeta?”

The name is like a punch to the gut. Vegeta feels attacked, even as he knows Merus’ intention is only to remind. In retaliation, he doesn’t even deign to answer the question properly. “I thought you were an angel who can read minds, Merus.”

Merus doesn’t take the bait, where Kakarot would have sassed him back. “Then you realise that this will possibly expose your identity and threaten your desire to remain unfound.”

Vegeta knows this. Knows he is likely walking into something with consequences bigger than he can foresee, opening a box and peering in without realising the depth of its pits. 

But he cannot stand by and play silence when Earth could be pulverised. It was likely that his sudden protectiveness was for nothing, and Earth would be just fine. In the event it doesn’t survive along with his loved ones on it, though, Vegeta was sure his own lifespan would be significantly shorter. 

He is well aware of his own logical flaw. Why stay away from something you would give your life to protect?

But logic didn’t come with rational action.

They briefly discuss changing his moniker, but find out that the amount of red tape involved to sign off all his documents as well would take twice the amount of time it would to get to Earth. Vegeta can’t help questioning his own sanity right then. Why did he sign up for so much paperwork and bullshit again?

Right, that whole redemption and oblivion thing.

And now he is headed straight back where he could potentially collapse the whole house of cards around himself. Brilliant.

Well, sanity was never a standard requirement for the saiyan throne, or one of the Dragon Team. Even the Galactic Patrol has their fair share of questionably-sane people.

Vegeta can already tell this decision will be his downfall, but merely standing by waiting for news of the planet inhabited by people he loved enough to leave, will literally kill him. He has to go.

* * *

Things move swiftly after that. They suit up for Earth. Merus briefs the agents involved on the particulars, while Vegeta broods and questions his life decisions.

The former prince starts to make a comprehensive list of who he must watch for in his masquerade. He has no doubt he will encounter the Dragon Team, the unsung heroes and the frontliners of Earth’s defence. 

He doubted that as a Galactic Patrol officer from outer space, he would be interacting with many of them. But in the event he does, Vegeta knows he would need to be careful around the Namekian in particular. Gohan would be smart enough to catch on too, but respectful enough not to push his suspicions. With any luck Vegeta would be able to fool the teenager. Perhaps Dende as well, who should be familiar enough with Vegeta’s energy signature having had to heal it enough times. 

Bulma he has to avoid. She is a genius and familiar with his ways and will likely figure him out in a short span of time, especially if she ever gets her hands on his full suit of armor. Trunks is sharp-minded and discerning too, in the way children normally are. But the Galactic Patrol is not in the habit of involving adolescents, and there is enough chance of avoiding contact with him. Hopefully the mission will be quick enough that he can leave before it gets to that point, before he ever has to interact with them both.

His thoughts then turn to the one he has both been trying to avoid, and cannot stop thinking about. Kakarot. Kakarot would be trouble, someone to watch for. The dumbass former rival of his doesn’t give the impression of being the sharpest tool, but Vegeta knows better. Kakarot is simple, not stupid: in fact he is quite quick on the uptake, if only specifically in the things that interest him, i.e. fighting, reading people and, somewhat bizarrely, anything involving Vegeta. 

Kakarot is also a naturally friendly idiot, albeit one able befriend anything that moves, and disarm them in the process into trusting him. And Kami knew, Vegeta trusts Kakarot, despite every bone and sinew in his body having tried hard not to.

Vegeta can already tell this will not end up cleanly for him. He is tempting fate and testing his lazy lucky stars too much. There is almost zero chance he will leave Earth after this mission undiscovered, and if Kakarot, Bulma or Trunks found out his identity, there is doubtless a big fight waiting if he is to leave again. 

Vegeta stands by his choice. But he cannot fight that battle against them ( _against himself…_ ) and walk away a second time. 

The alternative is dying at some point in this mission. Perhaps that is the best case scenario for him.

Vegeta smirks grimly at his reflection. A smirk he cannot see, because it is covered by the mask and the armor. The former prince has done many stupid things in the cosmic joke that is his life, but he believes this one may just take the crown.

* * *

For Goku, the months that pass after the fight against Buu is a haze of happy bliss. Surprisingly happier, even, than 7 years of living as a dead soul, fighting against the best fighters there were in the Other World.

Goku makes up for lost time with Goten, learns the expressions his youngest son makes when he disagrees with something, learns his favourite foods, learns that they share the same chilled approach to life that others sometimes mistake as obliviousness. 

They try hard to make it work at first, but seven years is a long time, and in the end, he and Chichi put their marriage to rest. Chichi is emotional and cries a lot. Goku is not and does not, but he is not as confused as the first time he learns what a marriage is, not as baffled as the time they held hands and shared their vows. Even he understands the weight of what they are saying goodbye to, and while he doesn’t grieve its loss, he does recognize its gravity. 

_“...Chi, you’re crying…” Goku feels helpless. He doesn't like it when Chichi cries. “Can… can I make it any better?” He has a sudden stroke of inspiration. “Will food help? I can get us some tasty fish tonight,” he offers. Food always makes him feel better._

_A laugh that turns into a sob, a loud sniffle. “Oh, Goku, it’s okay,” A pat to his cheek. “Sometimes things like this don’t work out. We’re better off this way…”_

_“...But we’re still family, Chi...” Goku wants to tell her he won’t ever stop taking care of her. He never has._

_But he will not stop leaving to train either, the way a saiyan would, and he is coming to realise that this is the breaking difference between them. Earth’s idea of care is different._

_“Oh I know, Goku,” Chichi smiles at him, beautiful even through her tears. “We’ll always be family… That won’t change… for the boys. But we … some things... have to.”_

_Goku doesn’t feel deeply enough to cry, but he can feel the sorrow weighing heavy in his chest. He holds Chichi for a while more, until her tears dry and there is nothing left to say between them._

The irony and the good of it is that he and Chichi’s relationship vastly improves after that, when they stop trying to be what they are not. As friends, they raise their children better.

It also makes Gohan happy. Goku smiles and aches when he looks at his eldest son, a boy who has been forced to grow up too early. Goku didn’t mind that much adventure and fighting when he was younger, but Gohan is half-human, and his heart lies with Earth’s soil. Gohan has never asked to be the next Goku, only the first of himself. Goku is glad that the boy is finally able to get some of what Chichi considers is a normal life, even as he himself doesn’t understand or desire the same things. 

He is glad he is able to watch his eldest fall in love.

Goku is still not the best at keeping touch with people, but he recognizes that they have missed him, and he them, so he tries. He randomly materialises at Krillian’s doorstep to chat and marvel that his no-longer bald best friend has a daughter now. He meditates on occasion with Piccolo and says hello to Dende. He forgets about then thinks of Tien and Chiatzo from time to time. He brings Goten over to play with Trunks as he pesters Bulma. 

But the biggest change has been his relationship with Vegeta. 

Somewhere between Vegeta knocking him out to face Majin Buu alone and their shared thumbs up and smile of relief at the defeat of Kid Buu, he and Vegeta have become… friends. 

(Goku thinks it was long before that, honestly, but he is aware Vegeta will have something different to say. Perhaps even now.)

_They are on a day out fishing with their sons. Goku is laying flat on his back, watching the clouds as he listens to Goten and Trunks further down the river bank, chatting loudly and randomly about fish, colours and utterly completely unrelated things, as kids do._

_Beside him sits Vegeta, close enough to that the prince’s knee brushes his elbow. The smaller saiyan is seemingly less tense than usual. A little ways away, Gohan and Piccolo are speaking together quietly in the shade. Gohan glances at the two saiyans’ direction from time to time with a small smile on his face. Though Goku cannot figure out why, he isn’t too bothered as long as his eldest is happy._

_The silence between him and Vegeta is comfortable. He feels the prince’s gaze on him every once in a while, but doesn’t question it - he sometimes stares at Vegeta too, it is a normal thing between them. After all it is a marvel that just days ago, they were both dead. Some looking in awe and wonder is warranted._

_When their youngest boys’ discussion starts to get louder, centering on whether Buu had ever eaten anything but candy, and if force feeding Kid Buu with uncooked fish could have killed him or at least given him food poisoning, Vegeta finally snipes at them._

_“Stop talking about silly stuff, you two. You’re starting to sound like Kakarot.”_

_“Hey!” Goku scrambles to sit up. The boys start laughing at his wildly messed mane that sticks out more than usual, and even Vegeta lets out a snort. Goku ignores it in favour of puffing out his cheeks at the prince. “That was uncalled for!”_

_Vegeta smirks, clearly pleased to have aggravated Goku. “Kakarot, if they continue saying stupid things, you’ll be out of a job.”_

_“Joke’s on you, I don’t even have one yet!”_

_“...Is that supposed to be a point in your favour?”_

_“...Well, yeah, it’s not in yours!”_

_“...Well, you’ve failed to make a compelling argument.” Vegeta smirks at him, an expression that abruptly changes into bemusement as Goku holds out one hand._

_The prince’s gaze travels from Goku’s palm to his face. Goku smiles, hoping it shows his sincerity._

_“I’m... not trying to make an argument or whatever.” He feels a little out of sorts, even... shy, almost, but Goku is determined to make this truce clear, and now is as good a time as any._

_He knows he is changing the tone of their normally witty, lengthy banter rather suddenly. True enough Vegeta looks utterly confused. It is an adorable look on him, though Goku doesn’t tell him that, knowing that it would slide right off._

_“I don’t want to fight you anymore Vegeta! Well - yes I do -” he fumbles, as Vegeta’s expression gets more confused and even a little offended - “but as sparring partners, not -” he waves one hand, as if that is enough to say everything he needs it to say._

_Vegeta’s dark eyes watch him with something like the fusion of amusement and consternation. Goku waits with his palm still outstretched, only fully realizing their physical proximity now. He shrugs it off - it’s not like they could get any physically closer than fusion anyway._

_Finally, the prince leans back. “Idiot,” Vegeta mutters, but his tone is almost fond, and there is an upward tilt to his lips. “As if we don’t already spar everyday.”_

_Vegeta doesn’t take Goku’s hand to shake it, but neither does he move away. Goku feels like he won that point._

For Goku personally, watching Vegeta die on Namek with tears in his eyes and a hole in his heart, both literal and figurative, had been his turning point. Whatever the arrogant, cruel prince did and tries to do since then, Goku could never again see him as truly evil.

Goku came back from Namek with the cosmic fire of a Super Saiyan in his veins. He also comes back both cursing Vegeta’s name and harboring a protective streak for him a mile wide. Goku will do everything in his power to not let anyone harm Vegeta like that again.

It takes him a very long time to realize that the person who hurts Vegeta the most is Vegeta himself, and that Goku is a massive part of the reason why.

Watching Vegeta take all of Kid Buu’s torture to within an inch of his life (or death, because he was technically dead then) and yet keep getting back up, to the point that even **_Kid Buu_ ** looked flabbergasted, even terrified, Goku feels something inside of him… melt. In awe and in protectiveness. In incredulity and in **_love_ **. It is horrible to see Vegeta suffer through all that, but it is also humbling and empowering and absolutely incredible to watch the prince keep getting back up on his feet, refusing to stay down, refusing to pass out. If Goku was honest, it did something to him then. How could anyone not love that determination, that refused to lay low and stay down, even broken and beaten and outclassed as it is? 

Goku has always loved a good fighting spirit, and Vegeta perfectly matched and complemented his own.

_‘If I can’t even last one lousy minute, then maybe I deserve to die.’_

Goku can still hear the self-loathing behind those words. 

This is Goku’s story. He doesn’t know exactly when Vegeta’s view of him changed from animosity to respect, from hatred to warmth, but he is glad that it has. Even if it is a very frigid, Vegeta-like kind of warmth.

Goku and Vegeta spend more time together as the days pass after Kid Buu’s end, sparring and resting in the aftermath, blanketed by a natural, comfortable silence. They are as drawn to each other as the first time they met, perhaps even more. Slowly they learn each other’s little quirks, non-verbal language, and exactly how to wind each other up with style and substance. It is to the point Goku feels he knows Vegeta’s fighting style as well as he does his own, and can read what Vegeta is thinking with just one quirk of the eyebrow or tilt of the lip. 

The mental familiarity from the bond that is the residue of their fusion probably boosts this natural chemistry between them. Neither chooses to acknowledge it, but it is there hovering, like a new saiyan form waiting to be grasped, like a new adventure waiting to be journeyed upon. It is something that grows with every lingering gaze, every interaction. 

Goku thinks Vegeta feels it too, this connection between them. He knows it, in a way he cannot verbally express, but can see. It is there in small but meaningful signs: that Vegeta is more willing to trust him with small truths, more willing to play along with his random ramblings, more willing to give when their spars come to a stalemate. 

Vegeta is often in deep thought and always hides behind his scowl, but sometimes, as the months pass, he seems to relax a little with Goku, he seems to open. And Goku himself can’t recall when he has ever felt this… comfortable around someone else, less antsy, less needing to seek out the next exciting match. He still craves adventure, but when he is with Vegeta, that desire is both met and quieted.

Goku loves it when Vegeta is fierce and fighting, his eyes blazing beautifully with anger, but he finds it just as precious when the prince is quiet, and he lets himself be vulnerable. And the trust is two way: around Vegeta, Goku is no longer alone in the endless pursuit for power, the seeking of strength for the sake of it. Goku is no longer the last one standing for a battle for Earth’s fate: he knows that Vegeta will always be with him. 

For the first time in his life Goku finds himself truly relaxing, able to just be his impulsive, fight-loving self, challenge seeking self, because he knows he can now, because he knows his chances of winning are several times multiplied when Vegeta is with him. And even though Vegeta scolds and sighs and shakes his head and complains and chastises him and calls him a clown, he doesn’t leave - not the planet, not their battles. He shows up again the next day, and the next, and the next, for their spar. Half the time, Vegeta is right there with him egging on the enemy, seeking to challenge them to greater heights despite the questionable wisdom of it, but always ready to back up and defend if it came to it.

It makes Goku feel seen and understood, rather than just humored and tolerated. 

One time Goku is unable to sleep, his mind a chaotic restless haze of battle. A storm under his skin. Vegeta finds him somehow, not saying a word, just waiting quietly in the darkness of the woods outside Mt Paozu. Vegeta fulfills him, sparring from the darkening fall of dusk until the onset of dawn. Then they slumped together, both too worn out to even move or snark, just watching as the stars slowly faded out with the brilliance of the sun, and Goku It is rare to find that kind of peace, that kind of trust, but somehow Goku found it with Vegeta. 

People think that Vegeta is insensitive and brash, uncaring and arrogant, but Goku knows it is an active choice rather than part of who Vegeta actually is. People think Goku is simple and unaffected by dark thoughts, but that is also an active choice. On the rare days Goku is mired in self doubt, whispers of _I’m the one who brings trouble to Earth, I’m the reason this happens_.... the same thoughts that led him to choose to stay dead for seven years, Vegeta somehow knows to find him. 

_There is a light tap of boots on the rocks behind him. Goku doesn’t turn his head, but even with ki being suppressed, he can already tell who it is. Only one person knows him well enough to know that the earth-raised saiyan came here when he wanted some time to think._

_“I knew I’d find you here.” Vegeta’s gruff voice comes from behind him. Goku feels rather than hears the prince move closer, until he is standing slightly just behind Goku, though the prince didn’t join him to sit on the rocks. The two saiyans stare out at the great canyon before them without speaking for a second, both silently appreciating the wilderness of the view, the fierce refusal of nature to be tamed by time._

_Finally, Vegeta breaks the silence. “What’s in that empty head of yours, Kakarot? You’re not your usual chattering self.” A pause. “The quiet is a nice change, but it doesn’t suit a clown like you.”_

_As he fidgets for a bit with a random sprout of weed by his knee, Goku hides a smile. Vegeta never really knew how to simply_ **_ask_ ** _\- half-hearted insults were the closest to showing concern Vegeta would ever get. Then again, tracking Goku all the way out here was a level of concern he knew Vegeta wouldn’t just give to anybody, so he did owe the prince an answer. Vegeta waits quietly without demanding anything further, which Goku knows is legendary levels of patience for the trigger-happy prince._

 _Goku’s voice is low when he speaks. “When I was gone for seven years, the Earth didn’t have any more big trouble or villains coming to destroy it. Then... the_ **_one_ ** _day I was back, the whole Majin Buu thing happened, and everyone died.” Goku keeps his head bowed. “I bring trouble to Earth, Vegeta. I can’t help but think… Maybe… it would have been better for me to stay dead. Maybe, it’ll be better for everyone if I… wasn’t here.”_

_There is a beat of silence. Then, an exasperated sigh above him. “Honestly, Kakarot. I always callyou an idiot, but even I didn’t think you would actually be this stupid.”_

_Goku frowns unhappily, a little bit hurt. He isn’t sure what he wants from Vegeta, reassurance or affirmation, but he really really isn’t in the mood for their usual banter right then. The younger saiyan is ready to say as much, just as a gloved hand gently lands on his head. The tenderness and almost... intimacy behind the gesture shockshim to silence._

_Goku turns his head to stare at Vegeta as the older saiyan settles down beside him. Vegeta doesn’t look back- instead he keeps looking out across the grand canyon, though his palm stays on Goku’s head lightly, even almost affectionately._

_“I know logic is very hard for you, Kakarot, so let’s walk through this together.” Goku ignores the condescending tone, letting the sentence go through one ear and dance merrily straight out of the other. If it didn’t have concern with an attitude veiled as an insult, it wouldn’t be Vegeta._

_“Firstly, everything to do with Majin Buu was technically my fault, not yours.” Goku tries to protest but Vegeta carries on right over him. “Secondly, even if it’s true that you attract trouble and Earth has to pay for it, have you thought about the flipside, Kakarot? You’ve always saved it from the very trouble you claim to attract -it’s not like you pass the job to anyone else.”_

_That isn’t really true though, Vegeta and the others always had to get involved. To get hurt. Goku tries to speak again, but Vegeta finally turns his head to meet the younger saiyan’s eyes as he drops his hand. The open emotion in those usually angry eyes took Goku’s breath away._

_“And what about the good that you’ve brought to the Earth?” the prince asks him roughly. “All the enemies you’ve turned into friends, all the people you’ve changed for the better?” Vegeta seemed to be struggling to say something further. “Did you consider that_ **_I_ ** _wouldn’t be here today with my own family, with my own chance to be a better person, living a better life I couldn’t have even_ **_dreamed_ ** _of, if not for you?”_

_“...” This time Goku stays silent out of respect and gratitude. He recognizes that these words would not have come easily to Vegeta; that the proud, mistrustful prince is baring a piece of himself for Goku’s benefit, in his own attempt at comfort. And somehow, that is more convincing than anything else the prince could have done, because Goku recognizes the heavy toll of it. And can appreciate it._

_“If it weren’t for you,” Vegeta hesitates, and Goku could see how hard this is for him, but the prince bravely carries on, “I’d have died a murderer and a slave. Because of you, I have a chance at redemption.”_

_That, he absolutely_ **_has_ ** _to say something to. “Vegeta, no, you’re giving me too much credit-”_

 _Vegeta glares. Goku usually actively encourages such glares, but this time he shuts up. “I’m giving you as much credit as you deserve,” the prince tells him seriously. “Perhaps... later than I should have.” Another hard admission. “Kakarot, if you could see the impact you have had on others, on_ **_me_ ** _, you wouldn’t be contemplating thoughts like these” His tone lowered. “You were the one who taught me that you shouldn’t judge someone by isolated actions. To see the bigger picture of how they came to be there. You’ve always given less weight to their mistakes and more to their redeeming traits. To_ **_mine_ ** _. So why don’t you start doing that to yourself, too.” Vegeta’s voice suddenly turns into a challenge. “Unless you hold yourself to a different standard? Do you think you’re better than the people you give a chance to? Better than me?”_

_“Hey,” Goku fumbles, not liking the mind game, “ that’s not fair, that’s not it at all -”_

_“Great. Prove it. Act your words.”_

_Goku looks at the prince both in annoyance and in wonder. Somehow Vegeta has succeeded in reassuring him when others could not. The two of them gaze at each other without speaking for a second, Goku with a half-smile and everything that is naked affection in his eyes, and Vegeta with solemn honesty and something Goku can not identify._

_The moment passes, and Vegeta seems to come back to himself. The prince draws back a bit, cheeks lightly flushing A hint of his usual abrasiveness returns. “Deep thoughts don’t suit you, Kakarot, so stop thinking so much.”_

_Goku chuckles, still looking at Vegeta freely. He can feel his lips turning up in a half-smile as he realizes just how fond he feels, and pride at how far the older saiyan had come. If Vegeta could read him right then, Goku would be in so much trouble, but oh God, how he loves this prince._

_-What?_

_Oh… crap. That is a very bad turn of words, even if it is accurate. Goku feels himself going red._

_Vegeta has turned his gaze back to the canyon before them , so he does not notice. Goku’s heart aches, but his smile stays. If this was the most he could get between him and Vegeta, well, it is still further than they have ever been, and he will cherish whatever he is allowed to have._

Goku feels it is a mutual thing, this understanding, this give and take between them, though the prince definitely has a harder time asking for comfort. One day, Vegeta comes to him at their usual sparring ground with lost, stormy eyes, more clouded than usual. The prince tries very hard to repress his feelings under twin masks of anger and irritability, but his emotions are all always in his eyes. To Goku, anyway.

Goku asks why, whines, challenges, needles and pesters, but Vegeta doesn’t give. Goku finally yields and respects his silence, out of the understanding that some things just can’t be spoken about. He has his secrets too, things he will forever rather keep buried. But he lets Vegeta know that anytime Vegeta needs him, he will be there. To talk to or to pummel each other to the point they can no longer think, whichever works fine!

But come dawn, Vegeta is the one who is gone.

Goku is sound asleep in his grandfather’s bed when his rival’s ki signal just… disappears. He wakes up with a start, not knowing exactly what is wrong, only that something is missing. 

He finds Bulma, who is at first combative at the early hour without caffeine, then confused, then finally utterly alarmed. Trunks is the picture of a distressed hurricane in a child’s body when he realizes his father is once again missing, Goten sticking closely by his side with protective eyes. Gohan hovers by them both, his features grim and unhappy. Even Krillin and Piccolo are concerned. (Goku isn’t sure what transpired between them two and Vegeta in the battle against Fat Buu when the prince turned himself into a living bomb, but clearly the two of them care enough for Vegeta as well to worry.)

Goku raises the equivalent of hell on Earth and in their quadrant of the galaxy, looking everywhere, asking everywhere - Dende, King Kai, Kibito Kai… Using the crystal ball of the Kais yields only static and not much else.

King Kai finally tells him in exasperation to let the matter drop. “If he’s not dead, he clearly doesn’t want to be found,” the Kai says. “Let him be at peace, Goku, don’t you think he deserves that much at least?”

Goku does, but this isn’t the kind of peace he thinks Vegeta should get. It feels less like peace and more like punishment, and Vegeta deserves better.

Trunks fears that his father is dead due to the lack of ki. Goku vehemently denies this. He knows, **knows** , Vegeta isn’t dead. After all the trouble and struggle they went through, the prince will not go quietly - when he meets his final end, he will likely burst into flames and ash and ki in combat, every inch the warrior prince he is, and Goku will likely be right alongside him.

Also, he is sure that he will be able to sense something inside him that will feel a little missing, should Vegeta be eternally gone. Especially after their fusion. Fusion is more than a physical technique. Fusion is the literal union of their minds and bodies, hearts and souls, as one. When they have literally become one body, one soul, in a way far more intimate than Earth can imagine, there is definitely something that lingers afterwards. 

Even though he is absolutely certain Vegeta is alive and kicking somewhere, probably someone who is not him (and that is a thought that makes him pout), he takes a trip to Yemma to be sure, just to reassure Bulma and Trunks. It is as he expects - the prince is alive and in the human realm, even if his life force has suddenly disappeared. Vegeta’s ki remains elusive, but Goku can feel at the edge of his consciousness in their mental link that Vegeta is out there somewhere, alive, only… gone. 

* * *

Three years pass.

Goku misses Vegeta.

He _misses_ Vegeta.

He misses being called Kakarot, from only that particular voice, in that gruff, low tone, with those dark eyes boring into his. Like a secret only the two of them shared.

He misses the little teasing moments, the sparring sessions, the safety of the spar, the utter freedom of their exchange. Misses the slight quirk of Vegeta’s lips when he is trying very hard not to smile at Goku’s antics, and fails, but tries anyway. Goku lives for that smile. It comes rarely and it gives him unmatched joy to see that he is one of the rare ones to bring it out of Vegeta.

It has been years since the prince left, and all he can think of is that he should have tried harder.

He should have pushed harder. Stopped Vegeta the eve of his leaving, the day they sparred until the stars started to twinkle their little lights. When Vegeta had gazed at him with something in his eyes that was lost and searching but also something like realisation and despair. 

He should have insisted on following Vegeta home, never mind that if that would have been weird, even for the two of them for whom weirdness is a normality and normality was the odd one. He should have kept tabs on Vegeta’s ki, he should have _something_. 

Goku wonders briefly if Vegeta had felt this... lost, in the seven years the Earth-raised saiyan chose to stay dead. He doesn’t think so, because he and Vegeta were not yet that close. And Vegeta has a strength about him that tells the world that he can bounce back from any loss. Not many people carry violence and tragedy through most of their lives and not end up as a broken shell, but Vegeta did, and wears it well.

But then, maybe Vegeta had felt the loss when Goku was gone too. Goku doesn’t know for certain. But he feels that he and Vegeta were always connected somehow, like two stars destined to forever circulate, pulled in by each other’s gravity, but never meeting in the middle.

He wonders if Vegeta hadn’t left, what could have developed between them, drawn as they were to each other. 

He doesn’t care that Vegeta is a guy. So what? Goku understands enough of social norms to see that this may be seen as weird or wrong by some people, but he has never been one to follow what is normal for the sake of normal. Perhaps it is a saiyan thing. 

To be honest, he doesn’t even give much thought to what is normal and what is not in the first place. He doesn’t really care as long as he isn’t hurting anyone in the process. Goku just follows whatever feels right and good in his heart, and Vegeta… does. That is all.

The sad thing is, he is probably only able to see these could have beens and admit it to himself, for very reason that Vegeta is no longer there with him.

Did saiyans even care about gender? He should have asked Vegeta when the prince was still there with him.

...Should haves, would haves, could haves. They do nothing to change the fact that Vegeta is no longer there.

Deep as his thoughts go, Goku is not the kind to let things make him brood. Life goes on. Or to rephrase it, life restarts again for him. 

He keeps fishing with and trying his best to help Goten in school- it is an attempt doomed to failure, but Goku has never been the kind to stop because something is impossible. He watches with fondness in his heart as Gohan enters university, and makes plans with Videl to get married as Chichi excites herself to the point of sickness. He drops by to see Bulma more often, plays and trains with Trunks.

He doesn’t stop searching for Vegeta. Sometimes he feels a call, somewhere through the unexplored mental link of his mind that is Vegeta-shaped and Vegeta-hearted. That residue of their supposedly permanent fusion.

He sometimes tugs along at the line, and there is something there - someone so familiar and someone dear enough that his heart aches to feel their presence - but the presence always seems to be shut off. And there is so much blame, so much self loathing, so much broken pride in that presence.

_Vegeta, come back. I miss you._

_Why won’t you let me find you?_

He is almost...unhappy. Without Vegeta, the old restlessness returns. Something is missing.

* * *

Then (yet another) trouble begins to brew on Earth. It prompts Jaco, Bulma’s new alien friend, to panic and call on new fighters from the Galactic Patrol to join them as allies. 

Where everyone is worried or tense, Goku is excited. Finally something to take his mind off things. A new enemy means a new challenge, which in turns means progress and new power levels to be gained. It could even also bring them a new enemy-turned-friend!

Gohan, Piccolo and Krillin all shake their heads at him with small smiles when he voices his thoughts. Goku laughs at them and assures them he will take it seriously, but he will also not lose his positive outlook. This is who he is at the core, after all.

As the Galactic Patrol ships come closer to landing, bringing them new and supposedly powerful allies, Goku hovers somewhere between excitement, curiosity, and restlessness. He will not let anyone harm his loved ones, but he is ready for this fight. He _needs_ this fight.

In the back of his mind, he cannot help but feel that had Vegeta been there, he would at least understand and even share some of his feelings.

_If I could see you again, if I could touch you again, I would never let you go._

* * *

_[Observation Deck, Galactic Patrol HQ]_

_“Hello, Agent V, I thought I might find you here. It is good to see you up and moving about. How are your injuries?”_

_“They are nothing of note, Agent Merus.” Impassive. “Let us skip the pleasantries. Why did you feel the need to find me?”_

_“...You may be skeptical, but my purpose was truly to ask after your health, Agent V.”_

_“Right. Is there anything else?”_

_A sigh. “...Alright, then. I have updates for you. I have made contact with Earth today, through Agent Jaco.” A sharp intake of breath from the other. “I have briefed them on the upcoming mission and our adversary. They are prepared to receive us and are ready for battle.”_

_“...Good.”_

_“My primary contact was Jaco and a highly intelligent, tech-savvy Earthling female by the name of Bulma Briefs. If my impressions are correct, she will be a valuable ally to have.”_

_A wry, knowing snort.“Yes, you are correct. ”_

_“I also managed to speak to one of the warriors today.” A pause. “His birth name in our official records is Kakarot, but I believe he is your Son Goku-”_

_“-Correct your phrasing, Agent Merus!”_

_Taken aback. “It is only a way of speech, Agent V. I am not insinuating anything untoward between you.” Amusement at the unusual show of emotion. “Very well, Goku, then. He is… refreshing to speak to. Everything I have seen from you and more. I understand marginally better now.” A pause. “I also understand why you had to leave.”_

_Suspicion. Feigned coolness. “What is the point of this conversation, Agent Merus? Are you attempting to bait me, or threaten me perhaps? If so, to what end? I have nothing to offer you, and nothing to be afraid of.”_

_Sadness. A sigh. “Believe what you like, but I have only good intentions.” Silence. “We will be arriving in 2 solar flares’ times. Are you nervous, Agent V?”_

_“Why would I be? It is a mission, nothing more.”_

_“...if you say so, Agent V. Be careful, please. And… please.. be kinder to yourself.”_

Look at the way they look at eachother XD there is love in that gaze.

*Title of chapter"Koi no yokan": Japanese for "Premonition of love." Different to "love at first sight". A Japanese friend of mine explained that this refers to the feeling upon first meeting someone that you will inevitably fall in love with them, not right then and there, but later on. I am not from Japan, so if any readers are and this understanding is wrong, please correct me. Eihter way I find this utterly heartwarming. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Earth’s planet code 4032-877 is actually canon, Whis mentions it in an episode in DBS, you can check the wiki - I researched haha.
> 
> 10th October was mental health day. I admit mine is really fragile. i'm grateful because it lets me channel everything to my writing. I'm scared because every day is a literal flip of the coin. This gives me a reason to stay upright. Perhaps why I can channel Vegeta's numbness and Goku's brooding.
> 
> Please review if you can. I always appreciate it <3 and will make and effort to reply for the time you take. Thank you in advance. :)


	3. Our Stars Begin To Cross Paths (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegeta meets Goku and the others again, after 3 long years - but they have no idea who he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I trashed and rewrote this chapter many times because I couldn't decide how much to reveal, and if I was strikingthe right dynamic. I was so anxious about... all of i. then I reminded myself that this is for my love of Goku and Vegeta, and I hope the sincere love of them shows through the story.
> 
> Also, I was rereading chapter 64 of the DBS manga & realised Merus is quite a cool character. I wasn't too impressed with him at first, but at the end, wow. He had a very short time with us for the impact he left. Anyone else think so?

So, Vegeta has been so focused on worrying about the masquerade that will likely blow up in his face, that he forgets to focus on the Code Black threat level coming their way. 

Well, Bulma has said, many times and in many variations, that he never did have his priorities in the correct order.

The hologram of Earth revolves in front of Vegeta. He watches it in silence.

“Agent V.” Merus draws near to his side. “This is...Planet 4032-877, aka Earth? It is an interestingly oblong shape.”

Vegeta shrugs. Safe in the confines of his mask and armour, he allows an upward tilt to his lips. “It is. A veritable little mudball of a planet.” 

He can’t help the edge of fondness that slips out. He has to be more careful.

Code Black case details are only available to the top ranking personnel on the mission, in this case Merus, up until one solar flare before the mission officially commences. This is due to fear of leakage of intel, but Vegeta thinks this is flawed reasoning (if it is that dangerous, no doubt the news would have spread already whatever rank or level of clearance they have.) Regardless, the former prince has not bothered with finding out the details until they are close to Earth’s atmosphere, even if it would have been relatively easy for him to get into the system (thank you PTO, thank you Bulma.) Anything earlier would have been too much information to deal with.

Merus finally hands Vegeta the mission access brief. It is coded to his biological signature so the details are only available to himself.

Vegeta takes the file, giving it a cursory skim. The moment his eyes alight on a certain word, he sucks in a breath. _Dragonballs._

Why is he not surprised, the orbs have always brought more trouble than they are worth.

The information that such wish-granting orbs exist on Earth is dangerous in the wrong hands. It is part of why Vegeta has been very protective of his true identity Galactic Patrol ship- there are rumors among those who know that Prince Vegeta died on Namek. To explain why he was a dead man still walking would have been inviting trouble to both Earth and New Namek. 

Vegeta doesn’t want to be the one causing destruction, again, even if indirectly.

Now all his secrecy seems to have been a futile effort on his part. Vegeta looks up at Merus, agitated. The armor masks it, but somehow Merus seems to understand.

“You have nothing to be anxious over, Agent V,” Merus tells him steadily. “Among the Galactic Patrol, only I know the existence of the Dragon balls for now.”

“That won’t be the case once we reach Earth. More personnel will be involved.” 

“It is not ideal, but necessary. Besides, they are trusted personnel.”

 _To you,_ Vegeta thinks. 

It took him long enough to believe that the Dragon Team were as innocent as they made themselves out to be. Despite the various undercurrents of personal motivation, Earth’s frontline warrior team is the only one Vegeta would actually believe had no backstabbers or ulterior motives. They look out for each other. They have a gullibility about them that is both annoying and refreshing. 

Small wonder given the naive idiot who is at the helm of it.

No, stop looking back, you’re not going that way.

“Agent V,” Merus is looking at him a bit strangely, perhaps because he has been far too quiet. “Are you certain you’re able to carry out this mission in full capacity?”

Vegeta gives that question all the consideration it deserves, which is none at all. 

Instead the prince directs a question he has been pondering. “Tell me, Merus. Why exactly is this considered a Code Black?” The Galactic Patrol see themselves as keepers of justice, but the demise of one planet is hardly much in the grand scheme of things. Every mission that has involved saving a planet from demise had at most been a Red so far. 

For a Code Black to be issued, it would be when the fate of the entire galaxy is threatened, not just one singular planet. 

“...Perceptive as always, Agent V.” Merus gestures at the hologram in front of them. The image flickers, panning out to show the entire galaxy. “None of this is confirmed, but I feel that Earth is only at the centre of a much more ominous plot.”

Years of trying to stay the fuck alive in both the PTO and Earth has taught Vegeta that sometimes the best and fastest way to get information is to ask for someone’s interpretation of it. “What do you believe is the biggest threat then, Merus?”

“You can find it in the mission brief, no?”

 _Don’t patronise me like I’m stupid_ , Vegeta resists the urge to snap. Agent V is cool and calm, and doesn’t give things more than their due. “I am asking your view. What is on file and what is actuality can be two very different things.” He pauses to rephrase. “If this mission was to fail, what do you think would have been the sole biggest cause of it.”

Merus looks at him thoughtfully, assessingly, with that look in his eyes that had made Vegeta straightaway recognise him as something outside the mortal plane. “I believe...our biggest challenge here will be ourselves.”

* * *

Earth has… changed.

Vegeta is glad he has his armour and mask on, because there is no way he would have been able to hide his expressions or wildly fluctuating ki otherwise.

“Yeah…” Kakarot says, rubbing the back of his head. “Um, sorry about this.. Earth’s usually a lot prettier.” 

There is that familiar gesture that has annoyed and endeared him to Vegeta, that the prince hasn’t seen in three years. Something in his chest squeezes, almost making him choke. Vegeta is not sure what to do with his body’s physical reactions, so he elects to ignore it and focus on what is ahead of him.

Earth being ‘usually a lot prettier’ is an understatement. 

Gone are the clear blue skies that haunt Vegeta’s memory, the clear blue skies that had at some point replaced the red skies of Vegeta-sei. Gone is the spectrum of colors the foliage takes on at different altitudes and seasons. 

Everything that Vegeta’s eye can see is swathed in murky gray, as if the planet is infected with a living death plague. From this vista, he is uncertain if it spreads across the globe, but something in the grimness of the Dragon team’s expression hints at a yes.

What is worse is the aura emanating from the things around him. The very air feels menacing, like something is struggling to draw its last breath before it submits to decay and death. Before it becomes something it is not.

Merus is the picture of grim calm. “I had an inkling that it would be bad, but somehow, this is more than I expected.”

Vegeta has to agree. This puts the bleak and black in Code Black. 

He is sure somewhere out there, some Kai would have laughed at the stupid wordplay.

Kakarot, like the naive optimistic sun he is, smiles. “Don’t worry, Earth’s had its fair share of bad stuff. I’m sure we’ll get through this one just fine.”

Yes, and Vegeta's sure they can all go ice skating on the surface of HFIL afterwards. Never mind that likely none of them know how to ice skate in the first place.

Behind Kakarot, Piccolo and Krillin appear to be exchanging dubious looks. Some things remain the same, then.

Vegeta is a little startled to realise that he is pleased to see the Namekian. But then he supposes they had enough similarities to have had some sort of understanding between them. 

Kakarot, Piccolo, and Krillin make up the frontline of the warriors of the Dragon team who meet the Galactic Patrol agents upon arrival. Predictably Bulma is somewhere there too, bullying Jaco into showing her around the technology and the Galactic Patrol’s ship. 

Vegeta is tense at first, half wondering if her much- prided upon woman instincts would somehow be able to sense him now. But whatever had been between them must be well and truly faded now, as she is more focused on the technology than him. Hopefully there are enough shiny bits to poke at that she will not notice his armoured figure and ask to examine it.

He very carefully avoids looking at Kakarot. Part of him wants to see if the other saiyan has changed, if his physique has perhaps gotten more solid, if he has had a change in his facial features (unlikely for a saiyan, but one can never be sure.) 

But by and large Vegeta succeeds in feigning complete lack of recognition, not just of Kakarot but the rest of the Dragon team, by just staying silent in his armour and impassive crimson mask. 

Slowly, slowly Vegeta brings himself out of the dissociative state he has submerged himself in for the last three years in the Galactic Patrol. It is almost frightening, like a mute world suddenly filling up with some noise, like a haze gray suddenly suffused with some colour.

Vegeta doesn’t go very far out of the careful numb cloud he’s chosen to drift in. Just enough to be more present, just enough to be more active in responding. 

Hopefully not enough to feel-deeply, or too much.

“We have a secondhand account of the circumstances from Agent Jaco,” Merus says, as Vegeta struggles with not-looking at Kakarot. “However, Agent Jaco has a tendency to, ah, shall we say, embellish certain facts. So we would like to hear your version.”

Vegeta recognizes that Merus is employing the same tactic he’d had upon meeting Vegeta those three years ago- asking the first-hand story- ironing out misunderstanding, building trust. He had to begrudgingly give the angel trainee some credit - despite the prince’s early misgivings, it had worked somewhat.

Krillin and Piccolo exchange another glance. Vegeta knows that look, it is the look of wary protectors, trying to decide how much information to impart. 

Merus looks amused. “I understand and respect your cautiousness. However, we are only here to help. We wish you no harm.”

Predictably, it is Piccolo who challenges Merus/ Galactic Patrol/them (how weird is it to consider himself on the other side now?) The Namek’s tone is passive, but his words are not. “We do not have a concrete reason to trust you.”

Vegeta approves. Someone has to keep these naive trusting Earthlings on their toes.

“Piccolo…” Kakarot says, and though Vegeta is not looking at him he can just imagine the little frown on the younger saiyan’s face. _No, Kakarot, he’s right, I’d have been suspicious too._

“That is true,” Merus inclines his head, agreeing with Piccolo. “But Jaco called upon us because this planet lies within his and our jurisdiction of protection. We have no ulterior motives.”

Piccolo’s expression doesn’t change, but the Namek steps back. “I suppose you do already know that we have dragon balls, and yet I can sense that you’ve no malicious intent,” he allows.

Kakarot must be beaming in approval now. Vegeta is carefully Not-Looking until he has to, sure that that smile would stab something deep or make him want to strangle Kakarot, whichever happens first. 

Krillin starts speaking. “A while back, Gohan… that’s, ah, one of us.. noticed that our four star dragonball turned black. Not like stone the way it becomes after a wish, but… the glass itself, turned a murky gray color.” 

“The next morning, all of the foliage and wildlife around MT Paozu had turned brown or dead. We slowly came to realise all of them had turned the same colors as the day wore on…”

And the dragonball had disappeared. Which is strange as none of the Sons had sensed any ki.

“We think that someone’s trying to collect them for a purpose, but we don’t know what, or who.” Krillin finishes.

Vegeta sees a very obvious question and wants to ask, but doesn’t want to reveal too much knowledge and give himself away. 

Luckily Merus picks up. “I understand from Jaco that one of your group has a device of some sort that helps you locate these dragon balls? Lady Bulma Briefs, if I’m not mistaken. Last we spoke, you were attempting to retrieve them?”

“Oh yeah, that’s Bulma, our friend over there,” Goku points. “Yeah, the dragon radar would have helped, but that’s the thing - with the dragonballs in this state, the radar doesn’t seem to be able to sense them.”

“We… don’t even know if they’ll work,” Krillin says. “The last wish was slightly less than three years ago. Since then, we haven’t really been actively watching over them.”

Piccolo’s gruff voice rumbles. “Dende… the guardian who watches over this Earth... warned of using the dragonballs too much that it accumulates negative energy. We’ve agreed against using them unless absolutely dire.”

Wait until Merus finds out their ‘guardian’ was a small little green bean in white robes, Vegeta thinks wryly. Well, Vegeta would have to feign some surprise himself, but that would be easy with a mask. 

Vegeta feels extremely out of touch with the situation, observing almost at a meta level. He is lucky to have a mask and armour. He has the hysterical urge to either laugh or scream, and he really isn’t sure which one would have won out. His usual attempt at being stoic would not have survived this interaction.

However, the dragon balls are out of commission. Possibly at the hands of an unknown entity.

That… is rather troubling news. The dragonballs have always been their deux ex machina, their saving throw, their lucky roll of dice. Death is cheap in the dragon Team’s world, as long as you were on the good guys side and died less than twice (Vegeta is still fairly dubious about his categorization in the first bucket, and is very definitely no longer in the second bucket.)

For the first time since he landed, Vegeta is less doubtful of his choice to participate in this mission. The Dragon team has a tendency towards lightheartedness, but they had to take it seriously this time.

* * *

Goku peers curiously at the fully armoured figure behind Merus. There is a strangeness about this masked one that he cannot figure out, and Goku’s instincts have always been strong.

The armour glints metallic in the light of the Earth’s sun. It is an off white instead of the pristine colour of saiyan armour, with a crimson mask covering the face and lining the joints. The suit is tall, bulky and massive enough in plates and parts that Goku cannot fully tell the build of the figure inside it.

Agent Merus in contrast is wearing lightweight armor in Jaco’s style. His lavender skin, violet eyes, and silver white hair are all features that carry a striking likeness to the Kais. Goku offhandedly wonders if they are related or descended somehow. 

He knows enough of Merus - they’d briefly spoken through Jaco’s communication device, before the Galactic Patrol landed. But he was not told anything about this armoured fighter, and something about him makes Goku pause.

Surprisingly, both Agent Merus and the armored guy do not emit any ki signature. As in, it isn’t that they are repressing ki, it is that their ki is just completely absent. Poof. Goku finds it a bit weird, but he has met enough different fighters that this fact doesn’t bother him too much.

No, what bothers him is the sense of… recognition that shouldn’t be there. Merus is similar enough to the Kais for Goku to place the likeness. The armor in contrast is not something he has seen before, from any planet he has been on. Yet is something oddly familiar about the person in the armor. Goku can’t place it, but it feels like he should know them. 

Then again, he has met a lot of people in his travels and in the afterlife. 

But... there really is an odd magnetic pull to this one. Goku feels curiously drawn to him, in a way he has not before and since meeting a certain prince.

Perhaps the sense of recognition is not his? Perhaps it is a residue of memories from fusion, and he is projecting.

Or maybe Goku is just imagining things where there aren't any.

Either way, Goku is not naturally a surreptitious person and makes no effort to be. He gazes with open curiosity at the armoured figure. 

The agent is speaking, discussing something with Merus. His voice is monotone and has a metallic quality to it. Kind of like Eighteen's. Huh. Maybe the guy is an android too. One from space. A space android. Though technically Goku is literally from space as well, so maybe they have that in common. 

Goku is fairly certain it is a guy, though the androgynous voice makes it hard to tell. He is going entirely by intuition. 

Well, that is kind of rude. Maybe he should just ask. Not paying full attention to Merus’ reply to the armored figure, or their urgency of conversation, Goku interrupts and leans in. “Merus, who’s your friend?”

They both pause to stare at him. “Ah.” Merus glances over his shoulder. “My colleague here … You may address him as Agent V for now.”

“Agent V, huh?” What an odd name. It doesn’t help that the initial is the same as a certain prince who plagues Goku’s thoughts daily, some days sharper than others. Goku shakes that thought away. “Is that your real name?”

“No,” Was the short reply. Goku waits, but there was nothing more forthcoming. 

“Sooooo….?” He draws out the ‘o’ in a coaxing manner. “What’s your actual name?” It is a bit out of line to ask, maybe, but Goku has never observed social boundaries much, and more so he feels strangely comfortable to poke this mysterious agent. Like they are already friends. Then again, Goku thinks every stranger is a friend he is yet to meet, so he will put this one in the same bucket.

Vegeta would have probably said something along the lines of _if he was going to tell you his actual name, he wouldn’t have used a different one in the first place, you idiot. Stop asking stupid things._ Yup, thanks Vegeta. Pity the prince wasn't actually here now to actually stop Goku from asking all the questions he liked. 

When the masked agent just looks at him, Goku tries again. “Or… okay, if not your real name, at least something longer? C’mon, I can’t call you just **agent** or **V** all the time, it’s so…weird... “ Goku means to say impersonal, but he knows he is already being a bit too much then. “Even Merus has a proper name!” If Vegeta was there, he would definitely have punched Goku for it.

“Goku…” Krillin says, a little embarrassedly. Goku is familiar with that tone, but can’t help himself.

The armoured figure makes an odd aborted move, but Goku can’t tell if it is in annoyance or amusement. “You may call me whatever you wish, then, Earthling Delegate.” 

Goku’s expression twists and he makes a face. “Oh hey, no, none of that here! Eugh! I’m not an official delegate or whatever,” he laughs, one hand rubbing behind his neck. “You can call me Goku! 

“I see.” The figure - no, Agent V now, apparently- _argh, why did that name feel so weird to use_ ? _-_ tilts his head. “Well met, Goku.”

His name is carefully pronounced, likely because of its unfamiliarity to the speaker. Even so, Goku frowns, feeling off though he is unsure why. He is very intuitive and tends to follow his instincts, and at that moment his instincts are screaming as if to say something is wrong, and it has to do with this mysterious Agent V. 

But he doesn’t think that Agent V has malicious intent. Nor Merus, like Piccolo has suspected.

Goku shakes his head. He looks back to Merus, who seems to be trying to restrain a smile. 

“Agent V here is one of Galactic Patrol’s best,” Merus says. “He is one of the most trusted commanders in the fleet, despite joining us not long ago.” Agent V makes another aborted motion, as if to stop Merus. Or to speak? Goku can’t tell and he is finding it somewhat irritating that the armour and mask blocks the agent’s facial expressions. 

If Merus notices Agent V’s movement, he ignores it. “He is also one of the strongest of the Elites, and most certainly the best fighter we have. He is very skilled.” Merus shoots Goku a look that seems to be laden with meaning. “He may not be the most forthcoming in words, but he is a great ally to have.”

Goku goes from slight confusion to complete excitement. “You’re the best fighter in the Galactic Patrol?! Oh wow, that’s amazing! We should go spar-- I wanna see what you’re made of!”

“Agent Merus.” Goku isn’t sure because of the metallic quality of the voice, but he thinks Agent V sounded hissy. Even almost angry. Hm, why? All Merus did was compliment him. 

“Only telling the truth as it is, Agent V,” Merus says mildly, clearly reading the same vibe as Goku has. 

“Wait, Goku,” Krillin looks alarmed, while Piccolo looks resigned. “Do we have the time for this?”

“Sure we do, while Bulma’s exploring the ship!” Goku dismisses with a cheerful wave, as he focuses on Merus and Agent V’s conversation.

“We had an agreement,” Agent V hisses. Yup, that was definitely a hiss. Kinda like the Brief’s cat when Goku tries to pet it. Kind of like a certain prince Goku misses, but he is trying not to think about.

Goku helpfully jumps in to defuse the tension, and at the same time needle the agent. He really wanted to see the strongest of the Galactic Patrol in action!

“Hey, if you’re mad you can let it out on me- you can punch it out of your system,” he says eagerly, rolling one shoulder. “It’ll be really fun, I promise! Just one spar before we get started?”

The armoured figure doesn’t even seem to consider it. “No. I do not spar... Goku.” Once again Goku frowns at the careful way his name is uttered, though even to himself he cannot explain why. Merus speaks like that too, so perhaps it is just that they are both unused to pronouncing his name. It is foreign to them, that is all.

He mentally shakes it off as he registers what Agent V has said. His eyes widen.“That can’t be right! How can you get stronger if you don’t spar?”

“I train alone.”

Goku’s battle geared mind works through the implications. “No way!” he protested. “ Even if you train alone, nothing beats fighting someone else.”

Something about the way Agent V carries himself tells Goku that the agent is the combative type, so Goku knows he’s made a good point when Agent V doesn’t disagree. 

But he doesn’t agree either. “You can make your arguments, but we are not here to spar.” Agent V says. Goku frowns, a little put out. “We have a mission to complete, that is all.”

“If we’re going to be allies, sparring will help us get more familiar with each other’s fighting style,” he tries another tack. “That’ll be great for us before we face a common enemy!”

“Then you may spar with Agent Merus,” Agent V replies neutrally. “He is a formidable fighter.”

“So are you, from what Merus says!” Even to himself Goku cannot explain why he is pushing like this, but then he always rides on his impulses, this is no different. He tries one last card. “Is it that you’re scared? That I’d be too strong for you, is that it? Don’t worry, I promise I won’t go too rough!”

That finally seems to get a reaction- the armoured agent appears to jerk his head in response. Whether from irritation or something else, Goku can’t tell, but he waits eagerly - no real fighter he knows likes being thrown that kind of challenge, no matter how humble they are. 

A certain prince would have fallen hook and sinker for that last tactic.

Abruptly, Goku misses Vegeta with the sharp ache that characterises every could-have-been and every if-only. 

Vegeta would have been right there with him at the front line, meeting these strange new powers, excited for the next new threat.

But in front of him even as he watches, after a second’s contemplation, whatever fiery tension Agent V seems to have had dissipates. 

“I will not play these kinds of games with you,” the armoured figure says coolly. “Speak to Agent Merus for a spar.”

Agent V seems to have a stubborn streak. That is fine, Goku is stubborn in his own easy-going way so he is the last to judge others for it. But somehow he feels almost… upset that the mysterious agent refuses to fight him. Like he is being cheated out of something.

Then Goku blinks, and wonders why he feels so strongly over something so small. Agent Merus would probably say yes to a spar with him. Why not just forgo this one for now? There is no point in training with a partner who isn’t interested in fighting with all their heart. 

Trying to shake off the strange put-offness he’d been feeling, Goku shrugs, finally. “Alright then, suit yourself.” He isn’t giving up, he’s determined to test this agent’s strength, but he’s sure he will get another day. 

Goku turns to Merus hopefully, with pleading eyes. “How about you Merus? A spar just to test eachother out?”

Agent Merus pauses for a second, purple-silver orbs flickering between Goku and Agent V. “I will oblige your desire for a spar, Goku,” Merus agrees. Goku lets out a whoop of delight. He hopes Agent V will watch, then maaaaybe he can be persuaded to join in for a bout. “We should perhaps take this somewhere a little further from the ships.” 

* * *

Idiot. Stupid soft fight obsessed idiot clown of a Kakarot.

When Kakrot directly addresses Merus and him, Vegeta finally allows himself to he takes his first glance at that curious, naive, idiotic baby face greeting them with a bright smile. After 3 years of pining and missing, Vegeta feels the breath go out of him in a heady rush. There is a swell of emotion that he absolutely refuses to identify. 

It is like that time he saw Kakarot again after 7 years of the clown being dead in the Otherworld after Cell. Except this time, they have a lot more history between them and ironically, even hilariously, Vegeta is more conscious of the feelings he has been trying to ignore before.

Vegeta is glad Bulma and Trunks are not here in direct vicinity, even if he can sense Bulma’s Ki now moving in the ship. All three of his most important people would be far too much mental stimulus to handle at once, and he would either combust or do something more stupid than he already is.

The prince’s automatic reaction is to shut down everything except the most basic of functions. He stands off to one side as the cheerful, trusting idiot that is his rival is acquainted in person with Merus, attempting to be as inconspicuous as possible, to not speak unless spoken to.

It both pleases Vegeta and twinges a little that Kakarot seems to be the same idiotic cheer and bright playfulness as ever, unchanged from when and how the prince last left things.

But then, that is Kakarot for you. A constant bright sun and incongruous cheer, come whatever storms weathered the path ahead. A star whose brilliance powered and sustained entire solar systems.

Vegeta in contrast was a turbulent hurricane, a brooding cloud whose best function is to move out of the way of the sun. A moon whose purpose is to reflect upon that brilliance, finally taking their leave unnoticed.

It...well. It **_hurt_ ** a bit to infer that his absence didn’t seem to have brought much distress to the younger saiyan, just as those long 7 years in the Otherworld had not. Perhaps Vegeta has once again misunderstood and misjudged Kakarot’s intentions and feelings. Only this time in the complete opposite direction: what he thinks has been building between them, he has mistaken. 

Well, fine. The (former) prince of all saiyans, now Agent V, has no use for emotional ties, not in this path to oblivion. Certainly no need nor want nor wish for a Kakarot.

Then Kakarot’s bright, naive, inquisitive eyes turn to him (well, to Agent V, but it’s the same thing), and Vegeta tenses. There is a strange magnetic pull he feels towards the other saiyan, and he fears that it is mutual. He tries to be curt and give one word responses, but Kakarot seems drawn to him (in the same way Vegeta is.) Could it be some residue of their fusion? Whatever it is, it does not bode well for Vegeta’s masquerade. He tries to be as unwelcoming as possible, something which he is a complete master at.

But Agent Merus despite all his practicality seems to be actively egging on the exact things Vegeta wants to avoid. He will need to have a serious conversation with Agent Merus at some point.

He first addresses Kakarot by the term “Earthling delegate” in an attempt to both keep up appearances and to distance himself. Kakarot gives a very Kakarot response, and Vegeta finds himself saddled in the hilarious position of now having to call Kakarot with his Earth name.

It is very very strange to call Kakarot Goku. Vegeta has to fight a grimace every time. The name is alien on his tongue. He wants to shudder at the weirdness of it. The flip side is that the oddity hilariously seems to transfer across, with Kakarot looking more confused by the second and seeming not to understand why he is confused. Hopefully it is enough to shake the younger saiyan off the strange attraction they both seem to feel to each other.

And then. Well. Kakarot starts haranguing him (well, Agent V) about sparring, and Vegeta can’t quite help the half exasperation, half fondness he feels. 

The prince has to work hard to suppress the twinge of desire to agree - when was the last time he had a proper fight that wasn’t one to the death or for a mission? Sparring with a partner who can more than match his skill, power and cunning, yet still be able to explicitly trust in the safety and freedom of the violent exchange. Yes, that was the space Kakarot had filled, and Vegeta is not ashamed to admit to feeling the void. Saiyan hearts were made for battle, after all.

In the sparring arena, Kakarot is a real threat, one that would cost him seriously if he was to slip. The challenge he brings is thrilling and forces Vegeta to improve in a short span of time, because of the very real dangers of not doing so. Yet inexplicably Vegeta feels safe around the other saiyan, safe in a manner he has never felt with an opponent on equal or stronger footing. Perhaps because to Kakarot, they weren’t opponents, but partners. Each calculated blow to weaken was to help improve, each kick to incapacitate was meant to help make each other stronger. Behind the exchange of violence, there was deep care.

But no, Vegeta can not agree to a spar, no matter how much he craves it, the meeting of knuckles and fiery hearts with the force of nature that is his rival before him. The prince is sure that were he to relent, Kakarot would be able to tell his real identity straightaway, despite the 3 years missing between them. That is how attuned they are to each other, how well they know each other’s fight song and battle cry.

And then Kakarot has the _utter nerve_ to taunt Agent V about being afraid to spar, because he is _too scared_ of the saiyan’s strength? The nerve of the clown, the manipulative _asshole of an idiot -_ Vegeta wanted to punch that cheerful, challenging grin right off his face right into next week, and the week after, and the week after that. Apparently in any universe Kakarot just knows exactly how to press his buttons. 

When Vegeta thinks about it (something which he actively tries to never do but ends up doing much more often than never) there is a part of him that is amused at Kakarot’s ability to tease and wheedle him to endless annoyance in any universe and circumstance, whether he knew it was Vegeta or not. But that part must not be acknowledged, and must be shoved away, kicked down and buried way way deep where the sunlight -or Kakarot- will never see or hear of it.)

But as much as Vegeta has the faint urge to pummel Kakarot’s face, he has to remember the end goal. In a formidable show of restraint that would have no doubt made Bulma or even Kakarot proud, Vegeta valiantly curtails the twin roaring dragons of his temper and pride and says no.

So he ends up just watching, admittedly in some jealousy, as Agent Merus and Kakarot take flight to some paces away so as to spar somewhere they will not blow the Galactic Patrol ship to kingdom come.

He wonders how much stronger Kakarot has become in his absence. The thought fills him with both jealousy and desire. It is a very uncomfortable feeling.

“So, uh,” Krillin’s voice distracts him, and he looks down to see the former monk attempting a friendly smile. “I’m part of the police force here too, on Earth. It’s like the Galactic Patrol, only it’s the Earth patrol, kinda. You… been with the Galactic Patrol for a long time?”

Part of Vegeta wants to ignore the former monk, as his actual royal self would have done, and a larger part of him decides to remain civil to keep up appearances. All of him wants to laugh at what the fuck he is doing now. “Not too long, no.” 

Vegeta has spent enough years on Earth to come to respect Krillin, who has consistently shown the most courage and battle potential out of any of the full blooded Earthlings, but there was no desire in the prince to become **_friends_ ** _. Just shut up, shorty, don’t ask anymore, I don’t want to talk, go away._ Do monks know telepathy? If he thinks it hard enough would Krillin get the message? 

Apparently Krillin has been born without the ability to sense extreme reluctance in conversation, or wilfully ignores it the way Kakarot does. No wonder the two had become fast friends.

“Oh,” Krillin visibly attempts to find another conversation starter. “Uh, how long is not too long? We might have different time measurements, cos you’re from space and all…?”

Acknowledging the point as valid but ready to brush off the question, Vegeta is interrupted by Jaco. The klutzy alien who is technically his Galactic Patrol colleague ( **_shudder_ **) answers self-importantly, “Agent V’s records state that he has been with us for the equivalent of three Earth years.”

As Vegeta stands there wondering if the Galactic Patrol would let him get away with murdering a swaggering, clumsy colleague with the excuse that he is too nosy and reveals private information, Krillin gawks. “Oh yeah? Wow, three years - about the same amount of time as I’ve been with the police force!” The former monk laughs. “So technically you’re still a baby in the patrol, like I am!”

“...” 

Scratch that, could he get away with murdering both Krillin and Jaco, and pass it off as an accident? Or perhaps Vegeta could at least rearrange their faces and teeth, just a little.

A prickly sensation on his neck. Vegeta looks up through the mask and meets Piccolo’s gaze. He tenses, but the Namek says nothing, only watching him a moment further before proceeding to sit cross-legged on the ground to meditate. Krillin looks awkwardly between the two of them, and continues to make small talk with Jaco.

* * *

Merus is **_strong._ **

Merus’ lack of ki makes it hard for Goku to predict his moves, but he has sparred against Eighteen before (androids also emit no ki), and more so he has sparred with Vegeta in a state of ki suppression, in order to hone their five senses rather than just to rely on brute power. So while it is a challenge, it is not an unfamiliar one. No, Merus’ real threat is the way he moves like water, the way he flows from one move to another on instinct, as if his body and soul were one.

He finds himself thrilled by the challenge that Merus provides. The instinctive way Merus blocks his attacks. It isn’t the same thrill a certain sparring partner and prince gave him, but it is close enough. 

“Wow, Merus!” Goku finally says, after the third time he almost faceplants into the side of a mountain. “You’re really something else!” 

“From what I have heard, Son Goku, you say that of every new opponent,” Merus says wryly.

Goku laughs. Then he blinks as Merus’ words fully register. “Did… Bulma tell you that? Or Jaco, maybe?” he hazards a guess, knowing that they’d spoken earlier.

There is something in Merus’ eyes. “Not quite. The Galactic Patrol have case files on every ally we have on a mission, though admittedly they may be outdated.” 

“Oh.” Goku follows suit as Merus powers down, a silent signal that their spar is at an end. As he does so he frowns, wondering if he should be disturbed that their new allies knew so much about them. Piccolo would probably be. Goku isn’t the type to worry about such things, but he has learnt over time to be more aware. 

Merus appears to be deliberating something. “...Let’s also say that I’ve come into contact with people who know of you,” The agent says slowly, his tone heavy with meaning. 

“Huh?” Most people think that Goku is bad at social cues and so on, which is fair, but in truth, Goku is not so much ignorant as he is deliberately discarding things that are a waste of time. Merus is obviously hinting him something. Who in space that Goku knew of that Merus would have come across? Perhaps the Yardratians? But why would he have to hint it, he could just come out and said so?

He is distracted when the agent tilts his head. “Tell me, Goku… from the logs, I’ve observed that you spare the life of every bad guy you meet, despite their misdeeds. Why is that?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, it’s not something I think about much,” Goku says, scratching the back of his neck a little uncomfortably. “It’s... not really like me deciding, things just happen?”

“I respectfully disagree,” Merus says. “It is consistently an active choice on your part. Speaking candidly, Goku, I have watched your battle files from the beginning. Your fight with Daemon King Piccolo -whose progeny is now your staunch ally might I add- the fight with the saiyan Prince Vegeta-” something in Goku’s chest **_twists_ ** unexpectedly and he has to remind himself to breathe - “the fight against Frieza, the fight against Cell, the fight against Buu. All of them have been fascinating battles on their own, but what I note in every fight is your strong tendency to decide to show mercy and give them a chance to reform instead of killing them off.”

“Some of those decisions... might have been mistakes,” Goku says, thinking of the Senzu bean he gave to Cell and how it had affected Gohan so badly. Some part of Goku wonders if he would have made the same decision if time rewind, but the saiyan in him doesn’t regret pushing his eldest son to the level of strength he achieved, even if the cost had been great.

Merus seems to know this. “I acknowledge this, but to err is mortal,” the agent says, almost something wistful in his tone? “Let us take some specific examples, then - in particular, the mercy you showed to Frieza, a wicked tyrant no one at the universal scale would even consider as deserving of a second chance. Or… though I know that he ended up joining your side, even the famed Prince Vegeta, who back then was just as cruel and meant to be shaped in Frieza’s image-”

Something in Goku snaps. “Vegeta is a **_good_ ** person,” Goku said, almost defensively. “He really didn’t know better then, because of all he’s been through, and he’s more than made up for everything.”

Merus looks taken aback at the rise in Goku’s tone, then his lips quirk up. “Fascinating. So you believe that he is inherently good? Does that extend to everyone?”

Goku shrugs, uneasy at his own irritation and a little confused with the direction of discussion. “Um… I don't know. I guess everyone deserves a second chance?” 

“Some of them have had more than a second chance and still don’t reform, however.” 

“Honestly, I don’t think about these things much,” Goku admits. _You probably should_ , a small voice that sounds suspiciously royal and haughty whispers at him. “But… since you’re asking… I guess, I sorta think it takes more than one chance to turn someone good, when they’ve faced so much bad their entire life.” Okay, Goku is thinking of a very specific flame haired prince here, but hopefully Merus won’t catch on. “Some of them never had a chance to be anything else, so why should I be the one to take it away from them?”

“That’s… very noble of you, Goku,” Merus says.

“Uh, no, that’s giving me way too much credit, man.” Goku’s face twists. “I just do what feels right! I love a good fight... but. I don’t have to kill anyone to do it. I try to make sure my friends and family are safe. If the bad people rise up to do bad stuff again, I just have to become stronger than them, right? I’ll fight them as many times as it takes, then at some point maybe they’ll decide to join the good side.”

“Extreme optimism.” Merus’ tone is not judgmental, rather, inquisitive. “Some would say reckless.”

“...Maybe... But… I’d rather take that chance, I guess? For every bad guy that was a mistake, there’s been more that turned good. ” Goku thinks of the various enemies -turned -allies he’d met over the years, from the smaller to the larger scale: Yamcha, Tien, Piccolo, Eighteen indirectly, Vegeta… at the last one, he can’t resist a fond smile, even if it is slightly sad. “I wouldn’t trade them for a different, safer decision. Any of them.” He shakes off the melancholy quickly. “Anyway, playing safe is a bore - this makes it more exciting!”

Merus finally smiles. “I see why now,” he murmurs. Goku frowns, even more confused than before. Why what? Did Goku even want to know? “You truly are a fascinating specimen, Goku.”

“...” Goku doesn’t know how to respond to that, and he doesn’t have to. An explosion rocks across the distance, strong enough to knock both himself and Merus off balance.

(Only later does it occur to Goku to wonder how Merus would have accessed and watched his battles, when no living being would have been able to record some of them.)

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that >< *goes to hide* I try to keep to the characterisation as much as possible, but hopefully enough to move the plot. A bit worried. Vegeta is a lot more self deprecating than he is proud, because that is literally the trigger to his choice of self isolation, my stupid little baby. Goku is so confused, my other poor baby.
> 
> Reviews are always appreciated because it shows that my work has touched you enough that you would take the time to leave a comment :) but I've come to realise that I've become quite dependent on them for a jolt of happiness, and I don't want it to affect my writing. I write for Goku and Vegeta, and my love of them, not for reviews, and if alone the way someone happens to ejoy it enough to leave a comment, then that makes me happy and means a lot more than a review out of obligation. 
> 
> Thanks to Agent_38_Scribs, agentpigeonton, evilkitten3 & thewingedlady for continued thoughtful debates, spamming fanart of Goku Black, same dark humor and beta-ing respectively <3 love you all


	4. Diablos Ex Machina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get complicated, very fast. Goku gets confused and angry, Vegeta gets hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm "stardust-steel" on Tumblr or "stardust_steel" on Instagram, I'd love to chat any db/kakavege/life things with you :) come find me!
> 
> I apologise for the extremely late update, but I'm going to be honest and tell you that The plot changed massively from how I originally planned it - ie, our mystery Code Black was not supposed to be who i is in this chapter. The result was that I had to rewrite the whole storyline, changing things here and there. I revised this particular chapter a total of 8 times to make sure it wouldn't lead to inconsistencies or plot holes. There may still be one or two, but I hope to close all loopholes satisfyingly, I will certainly do my best:'>. Perhaps I'll publish the older version at some point for those who are interested in the 'what-if', but for now, for better or for worse... this is who we have. The good news is that updates should come faster now, hopefully - I'm aiming to finish this by end Jan 2021. 
> 
> The Galactic Patrol mission brief at the START of this chapter is just an idea I had to convey a lot of info in a shor space of time, without having to use characters for it. Wanted to put it in the last chapter, but gives more suspense. Playing around with different formats (it's the management consultant in me) hope the style isn't too jarring :)

The explosion rocks across the distance, knocking Vegeta back even in his sturdy armour. 

What the fuck was that?

He senses Kakarot’s ki before he sees him, shooting past their small crew in a streak of blue-white light straight towards the explosion. Merus follows closely behind. 

That is Kakarot, all right, Kakarot with his overdeveloped sense of adventure and heart too big for one body - the slightest sign of someone in trouble and off he goes running towards it, rather than away from it. Vegeta has the confusing urge to either scream in exasperation or laugh in fondness, and for a moment he understands what Kakarot’s ex-wife must have had to deal with over the years. 

Never mind that Vegeta is about to be doing pretty much the same thing, running straight into trouble rather than away from it, for less noble reasons.

Okay, okay, Vegeta’s never claimed not to be a hypocrite.

The former prince levitates up in a second and speeds up, easily catching up with Merus and Kakarot. Piccolo and Krilin are on their tail but cannot quite match their speed. 

In his periphery, Vegeta sees Kakarot spare him a glance. “Woah, you’re quite fast!”

Agent V stays silent, but Vegeta smirks in the armour. Even a hidden identity couldn’t completely dampen his competitiveness with Kakarot, it is their natural dynamic after all. Like he'd ever let Kakarot surpass him for long, the fool.

His amusement dies a very quick, violent death in the next moment as they come upon ground zero of the explosion, and the apparent cause of it. 

Two figures hover at the centre of the destruction. Vegeta disregards the one behind, a figure he does not recognise, in favour of the one at the front, who he shockingly does. The man is both so alien, yet somehow so impossibly familiar, that Vegeta’s breath catches in his throat. It is so utterly incomprehensible that his mind takes a moment to process who it is he’s looking at. 

Slightly in front of him, where Kakarot stands at the fore of the group, he hears a squawk of shocked recognition. While Vegeta doesn’t allow himself to verbalise his own surprise, he does share the intensity of it.

It feels like all the blood is draining from his face.

The familiar stranger pauses in his act of wanton destruction in favour of turning to face them. A smirk that screams of both playful arrogance and malicious boredom graces his features. Vegeta recognizes that haughty look immediately, because he has seen it in a mirror for most of his lifetime.

“Well, who do we have here?” drawls the uncanny look-alike (replica?) of Vegeta. His voice is a timbre preceding a storm, and every bit as condescending as Vegeta would expect a fragment of himself to be. 

Upon examination, there are slight differences in the look-alike: his frame is smaller and slimmer than Vegeta’s own, with strands of dark-red falling to frame the forehead. A furry tail is wrapped around his waist, Vegeta realises offhandedly, suddenly feeling his own missing one like a phantom limb. But there is no mistaking those cruel eyes and taunting smirk. One damned soul knows another, after all. 

“What…you...” Kakarot stammers. The fact that he manages to get out anything at all is rather impressive, Vegeta would begrudgingly admit later. “Vegeta?!”

The prince himself is unable to form coherent sentences at the moment, too busy calculating the range of possibilities that could lead to this unlikely circumstance. He is quickly drawing up a blank. 

Even Merus is looking carefully-bemused at this spectacle. “He is not your Vegeta, Son Goku,” the agent-trainee-angel says, without offering any further explanation.

 **_Your_ ** _Vegeta?_ Vegeta thinks, distantly outraged. Merus really needs a lesson in Earth’s semantics. 

To be fair, the agent looks distracted, as if his thoughts are flying far too fast to voice. Kakarot, who Vegeta feels can never be accused of thinking too much, has no such hangups and doesn’t even seem to be listening - he doesn’t in fact seem to be thinking, only following his feelings. 

“Vegeta?” Kakarot repeats, his tone soft, full of hope and longing and things Vegeta really didn’t want to observe or hear or think about right now. “Is…is it really you?”

 _No it isn’t, you idiot_ \- _can’t you see his_ **_hair_ **, Vegeta thinks distractedly, but before he gets a chance to say so, the Other-Vegeta (well, that is going to get confusing very quickly) frowns.

“You know of me?” the Other-Vegeta questions, eyebrows quirking as he gives Kakarot and the group an assessing look. “So, my reputation precedes me.”

Kakarot blinks. “What do you mean? We’ve fought together for years!” He pauses, then corrects himself. “Well, technically I was dead for most of them, but…”

The Other-Vegeta looks, almost justifiably, nonplussed. Predictably for any Vegeta, the confusion manifests as anger. “...What nonsense is this?!” he snaps, looking at Kakarot up-and-down now as if trying to decide if he is dealing with insanity incarnate. 

Kakarot reaches out to grasp the replica's arm. “Vegeta-”

The moment his hand makes contact, the Other-Vegeta **_snarls,_ ** in a manner that is once again disconcertingly familiar. “You dare - Don’t be so **_familiar_ **!”

“Goku!” Merus calls out a warning, but within a fraction of a breath, the replica is far within Kakarot’s personal space, driving a vicious fist into the younger saiyan’s gut.

His blow is shockingly potent, Vegeta notes with distant dismay. The force of the impact sends Kakarot hurtling backwards.

Merus makes as if to fly forward, but Vegeta is already moving. Without much forethought he phases out and catches Kakarot _just_ in time, saving the younger saiyan from what would have undoubtedly been a painful crash landing.

Kakarot’s larger frame in his arms is disconcerting in its familiarity, but weirdly reassuring in its weight. How many times have they inadvertently saved each other’s lives like this? 

Vegeta opens his mouth automatically to berate the younger saiyan. Much later he realizes that this is the point he would have likely given himself away. Thankfully, though, the idiot that is the prince’s clown of a rival thwarts this. 

Without even a hint of gratitude, Kakarot shrugs him off, teleporting back in flash right in front of other-Vegeta so that they are head to head. Even the replica looks faintly startled, his eyes flickering for a moment.

“Vegeta…” Kakarot gazes upon their newcomer with a strange intensity that is very unlike him. His eyes sweep the red-streaked hair, the strands of bangs falling into forehead, and the smaller frame, and linger on the curious presence of the tail, before he appears to come to the same conclusion Vegeta did. The younger saiyan’s shoulders sag a little bit as he cocks his head to one side. “...guess you’re really not him,” Kakarot says, as if talking to himself. Other-Vegeta bristles at his proclamation. 

“What- **I am Prince Vegeta**!”

“Well, yeah, I know,” Kakarot agrees in good humour, but there is something almost sad in his smile. Vegeta tries to tell himself he feels nothing at that sad puppy look. He really doesn’t. “But you’re not my Vegeta.” 

_...Yes, you dumbass, I could have told you that,_ Vegeta thinks distractedly, trying to push down the part of him that feels embarrassingly warm from the way Kakarot says “my Vegeta”, with partial success.

“You raving lunatic,” Vegeta's replica hisses, and, well, it seems like any and every version of Vegeta is prone to insulting any and all Kakarots. 

Kakarot almost cheerfully ignores the insult, as he always does when it comes to the prince. “So, who are you, really, then? Where did you come from?”

Other-Vegeta looks absolutely wrong-footed. Vegeta feels an odd mixture of vindictiveness and sympathy - he can’t really blame the man, Kakarot always has that effect on him. 

A chuckle interrupts them. The other one Vegeta had disregarded earlier finally makes his presence noticed: a bespectacled figure with a fairly muscular physique that speaks of a lifetime of fighting. His purple skin, white hair and pointed ears are disconcertingly similar to Merus, despite the larger build. The red of his pupils and the darker skin color hint of a different race or species.

“Well, this is an interesting turn of events.” The unknown man smirks, his red eyes seeming to find Vegeta’s even through the visor. Vegeta fills a chill run through him, a sensation he has not felt in so long. “Perhaps this Vegeta has a different story to yours, little cub.”

“I’ve told you not to call me that!” Other-Vegeta snaps.

“Skittish today, aren’t we, little cub?” Unknown man chuckles. Something about his mocking glee reminds Vegeta of Frieza’s mannerism, and it makes his hackles rise. “Don’t worry, we won’t be in this timeline for very long.”

“Little cub?” Kakarot repeats curiously, wrinkling his nose, something protective in his tone. 

“This timeline?” Merus echoes, focusing on the more practical bit of implication. “...that implies… you are not from our universe… or timeline, at least…”

“Is it not obvious? Clearly, we’re from a different timeline - you must be dense if you haven’t concluded by now,” the unknown man sneers.

At this point in time enough borderline improbable shit has happened in the Dragon Team’s universe that Vegeta’s mind skips straight past the skepticism and the what to the methodology and the how. It should be concerning, but it really isn’t.

Clearly Kakarot is of the same mind. “I guess that isn’t the first time something like this has happened…”

Other-Vegeta raises an eyebrow, something almost amicably curious this time. “You have had other timeline visitors?”

“...kinda,” Kakarot says, scratching the back of his head. Vegeta can literally see him debating to mention that it is Trunks, a future son, and disregarding the idea. He is struck with the hysterical and very inappropriate urge to laugh.

Merus is studying the one unknown man between the four intently. “...I recognize you.” His voice is quiet. “Fu, is your name? In this timeline, you died before you could live.”

Vegeta supposes Merus’ background as a trainee angel allows him this depth of knowledge. He isn’t pleased about still being left in the dark. For his part, Fu merely smiles at those ominous words, as if filing away some interesting information.

“Agent Merus.” Vegeta hopes the robotic lilt of his tone still can convey his request for more information. He is trying not to speak too much, in a situation as sensitive and chaotic as this, any tell can give himself away.

“Fu is from the Demon Realm, a place that exists outside your universe’s plane of existence.” Merus pauses. “He is Demon King Dabura’s rightful successor… also what the Earth would see as his nephew.” 

Merus does not look at Vegeta, something Vegeta is grateful for as his breathing stills just for a moment. Dabura had not been particularly powerful, but it was he who had noticed Vegeta's tendency towards evil first before Babidi manipulated it. 

(Frieza, Dabura and Babidi. It feels as though Vegeta is constantly serving one overlord after the other, even as he tells himself he is a free spirit.)

Kakarot is grimacing. “Demon Realm,” he mutters, making Vegeta wonder what memories the innocent Kakarot holds of a place with such a name. He literally watches as Kakarot discards whatever it is he is thinking of, and tries not to feel too fond at the younger’s apparent ability to shrug off anything that doesn’t serve him. 

“Am I correct in assuming you are the one causing the rift over the fabric of Earth, then?” Merus asks sharply.

Fu shrugs. “I suppose.” Other-Vegeta hovers nearby him, as if bored, but unusually quiet for a version of himself.

“Why are you here?” Ever the practical, no-nonsense agent, Merus doggedly tries to pry into their motives. “What is your intention?” Merus asks sharply. “Are you trying to revive the Demon Realm in this timeline?”

“I’m not interested in such meaningless pursuits,” Fu says, waving one hand dismissively. “My sole purpose is experimentation in the search to create utopia.”

Vegeta wants to demand for him to stop being so cryptic, but that is not what Agent V would do. 

He is getting tired of separating the two personas. 

Luckily Kakarot picks up the slack for him. “What does that even mean? Experimenting with what?” Kakarot asks, almost exasperated. “You’re making my head hurt.” The younger saiyan seems to have a moment of thought. “If it’s the dragonballs you’re looking for, they’re out of commission at the moment.”

“That’s hardly surprising.”

“Huh?”

“In every timeline we have visited has had their dragonballs corrupted. Yours should be the same... if not now, then soon,” Fu says, rather ominously.

 _So this isn’t the first timeline they’ve visited, then?_ Vegeta thinks, offhandedly wondering what happened to the others. 

Kakarot has other concerns of course, the noble idiot. “So you’re the one causing- all of this?” Kakarot gestures to the decaying world around them. His tone is confused, angry and protective all at once. The younger saiyan looks ready to do something rash with the best of intentions, and if that doesn’t sum his entire existence up, Vegeta doesn’t know what would. 

“No,” Merus says, his tone serious, surprising the group at large. “Dragon Balls are objects that are not sanctioned by the gods. They interrupt the natural order of life and death. They are not meant to be used by mortals. Every time they are used, they are corrupted.”

“But that does not explain why you are here, Fu.” Merus’ eyes laser in on the demon descendent. I will not ask again. Manipulation of time is a serious breach of the Galactic Patrol’s laws. ”

Right, they are. 

Vegeta doesn’t really care, though. 

Even though he is technically a Galactic Patrol agent, and should uphold their laws. 

Somewhat hilariously, his other self agrees with him. “Sorry about breaking your precious laws,” Other-Vegeta replies sardonically. “Oh wait, I’m not. In fact, I don’t give a shit. ” 

His replica’s tone changes from dry to demanding so suddenly that Vegeta almost suffers from the whiplash. “Fu, just get on with it, this is so boring- I want to fight!”

Fu rolls his eyes. “Your impatience will be the death of you.”

“I’m too difficult for anything else to kill,” replica/other-Vegeta quips. “A guy’s got to have one weakness.”

Pompous prat. It is hard to watch how stubborn and arrogant his past self is, never mind Vegeta’s probably still the same in bearing anyway. 

It occurs to Vegeta that he really probably should move or say at some point. He really probably should be reacting faster than this, but he is too shocked by the appearance of what seems to be another version of himself to really retaliate. The former prince has always been prone to being paralysed by too much thought, until the moment it all explodes and he is no longer thinking at all, only acting on impulses boiled over. Fortunately, for once, his disguise as Agent V comes in very useful this time, for he is not obligated to say or react as anything in the armor. 

“You want a fight?” Kakarot, who is the exact opposite of Vegeta’s overthinking tendencies, eagerly jumps on the challenge. “I’d love to test how long I can hold out against you! The you of this timeline always keeps me on my toes!”

“Hah! You wouldn’t last a second against me at full throttle,” Other-Vegeta smirks. Vegeta supposes if anyone still has doubts, that glint in the replica’s eyes would dispel them all - it definitely screams of Vegeta’s excitement for an impending fight. 

“Oh yeah?” Kakarot taunts. “Come up to me and prove it, unless you’re too scared to, other-Vegeta!” 

Same old trap from the same old book, Kakarot. And like the pull of the moonlight, Vegeta never fails to fall for it, whatever version of himself it is, apparently.

But the replica/other-Vegeta seems to hear something differently. His expression shifts from amusement to something thunderous, and he just _moves_ \- 

And suddenly, Kakarot’s lightly teasing tone morphs into an agonized choke as Other-Vegeta’s gloved hand wraps around his windpipe. “Don’t call me that,” the replica hisses, his eyes suddenly glowing in aqua, aura burning crimson. “I am not _other-Vegeta_ , I am the only Prince Vegeta.” His hand begins to squeeze, much like Vegeta has once himself done to the younger saiyan, using key rings instead of fists.

In the second that Vegeta is still frozen from the shocking speed of his counterpart’s movement, Merus appears in front of the two. Out of thin air, he materializes the quarterstaff he favours in battle and brings it down upon replica/other-Vegeta’s arm in the next instant. 

Other-Vegeta lets out a noise of both shock and rage as he immediately lets go of Kakarot, in lieu of literally being disarmed. Merus gets in a lucky hit that sends the replica spiraling in a downward trajectory. In the next second the agent-trainee-angel grabs Kakarot to reappear closer to where Vegeta is floating frozen.

“Agent V! ” Merus’ eyes meet Vegeta’s in silent consternation; his voice is sharp. “What is your counsel?” 

Through his crimson visor, Vegeta stares back without apology, but he understands why Merus is reacting like this. and Merus are saddled in the unique position of being the only two in the group who understand the true incredulity/danger that replica/other-Vegeta represents. 

Kakarot is oddly taking longer than usual to recover from the chokehold. He manages to gasp, “ _Watch out -_ ”

Other-Vegeta has moved _far, far_ too fast - one blink in a spot for one moment, suddenly completely in another place without any shift in between - for it to be anything but Instant Teleportation. Vegeta realizes this a split second too late as the replica reappears in front of them, aura burning crimson. His first move is to backhand Merus hard enough to send the agent flying. 

Shit. This Other-Vegeta apparently has Kakarot’s ability of teleportation, and also seems to possess a transformation that is different to their standard super saiyan forms.

Vegeta moves at the same time as Kakarot does. 

The next few moments, brief as they are, are the most exhilarating ones Vegeta has felt for the last three _years_. He and his incredible rival dive in for the replica/other-Vegeta together. Their strikes are almost in perfect sync. Both their movements are fluid, constant, and in perfect harmony. It is as though they can read each other’s minds. When Kakarot moves left, Vegeta strikes from the right. When Vegeta hits right, Kakarot dodges and aims from the left. They move together, fighting together, striking together, a deadly duo craving through the ranks of any enemy.

However, in the seconds that pass, the strength gap becomes ever clearer that it borders on the ridiculous. Internally, Vegeta is berating himself. Perhaps due to the difference in size, and the impression that the replica is younger, Vegeta has taken for granted that his other self would be weaker in raw power, without once considering the reverse. Being possible. His enemies on Frieza’s base has done it often enough, mistaking his size as an indication of lack of power. Vegeta has always laughed in their faces before proceeding to deal out the worst damage.

Vegeta is quickly learning to correct that assumption now. He would be proud if he isn’t so pissed. 

Whatever the crimson aura that surrounds his counterpart is, it is clearly on a different level to any form that he or Kakarot have achieved- but just for these brief moments, Vegeta feels fiercely alive, more than he has for the past three years. it feels like forever and no time at all has passed since he and Kakarot last sparred or fought together, and it is glorious, freeing in a way nothing else has been or can ever be.

But something else is wrong. Saiyan bodies are war machines, made to evolve fast and constantly grow to adapt to new stresses. Indeed, three years of almost constant battling has sharpened Vegeta’s skills enough that he has learnt to compensate for not using his ascended form while in the armour. 

Kakarot, however, appears to not even be trying - he only ascends once, to Super Saiyan, and his hits have all the trademarks of a fighter who is hesitant to land a proper blow, whose heart is not really into the battle. A warrior who lacks conviction.

Against any enemy this would be dangerous, but against someone like Vegeta, even another version of him - who has no concept of fighting dirty to live, who has a knack for spotting the gap in his opponent’s skillsets, and is utterly merciless in manipulating them - it is practically suicidal. And the replica of himself is not pulling his punches - every strike was meant to maim permanently, or kill.

Very quickly Kakarot finds himself once again on the receiving end of what would have been a fatal blow if it had landed. And once again, Vegeta interferes before it happens. He uses the trajectory or an incoming punch from his replica to flip him over in a Judo-esque throw (Earth’s various martial art forms were fairly inventive and useful, despite not being of a warrior race, Vegeta would give them that.) The former prince then grabs his rival and propels some distance between them and their adversary, desperately trying to buy some breathing time. It helps that Merus is suddenly within fighting space, ready to throw hands again, curiously not the slightest bit of a scuffle on him.

There is a sudden below from above them all. “Vegeta!” Fu shouts. “Stop this. If you kill them before we get what we need, this will have been for nothing.”

Unlike what Vegeta knows of his own penchant for rebellion and recklessness, this particular version of himself actually pauses, right in the middle of coming after them. It is like he is struggling, then the fight seems to go out of his body. There is a pout on other-Vegeta's face that is uncomfortably wrong, but Vegeta would also recognize that dark look in his eyes anywhere, a caged animal forced to be pulled back, ready to let loose at any point . “Alright, alright. I was just having some fun.”

Well, that is quite ominous and concerning, but they will deal with it later. Vegeta turns to Kakarot just in time to catch Kakarot staring at him with a strange look he can’t read. Alarm bells ring, but the prince is too busy stewing in his own quiet fury to care. 

The last hit had been far too close for comfort. The former prince did not come under this ridiculous masquerade under a ridiculous plan to help save the Earth _just_ to watch completely helpless in his stupid crimson visor as the younger saiyan got skewered by another version of himself. 

Prince Vegeta would be fucking screaming at Kakarot by now about naive, reckless idiots who deserves a good bashing into next week. Agent V would merely seething in rage, his voice cold but calm. Like a lurking storm about to break out at any moment, like the old Vegeta who first arrived on Earth. Like replica/other-Vegeta.

Agent V has to work hard at tempering his anger, altering his way of speech to not give himself away. “Son Goku,” that will never not be strange, Vegeta really needs to wash out his tongue after this is all over, assuming he lives, “Your strikes are love taps, not a warrior’s fist. Where is your fighting spirit?”

Kakarot’s features morph into a familiar look of confusion, and _that_ the prince can read. “Uh, what?”

“Why are you pulling your fists?”

“I’m … Do you always speak so weirdly?”

That is Kakarot’s version of being sly, evading an answer by throwing an offensive question, Vegeta knows him too well, knows all of his tricks and yet he falls for it hook line and sinker anyway. The prince is about to snap, but Merus saves him. “Your heart is not in this battle, Son Goku,” Merus says sharply. “We can see that from your manner of fighting.”

In all the years Vegeta has known him both alive and dead, Kakarot has never looked this contrite. “Yeah…” he admits quietly “...you’re right.”

“You must fight properly - this is not a game!”

Kakarot gets that stubborn look Vegeta knows, the one that spells trouble and defeat for anyone who is against him. “I.. I can’t,” He mutters unhappily. “It’s Vegeta."

Vegeta would happily pummel the naive idiot into next week if it means knocking that desperate, defeated puppy look off his features. Agent V however only stands as a soldier does, straight and aloof, even as he wants to ask why. Merus will ask for him.

Merus doesn’t ask for him. Merus slams him with the answer and the truth. “He is not your Vegeta, Goku,” Merus says firmly. “He is not who you’re looking for, Truly fight, with all your heart. He is ready to kill, he does not have good intentions.”

Kakarot doesn’t even allow Vegeta time to process that. The younger saiyan has always been unpredictable and full of surprises. Vegeta is struck by the sudden flash in the younger saiyan’s gaze as he fully faces them both. “What do you know?” The usually gentle-natured saiyan challenges, his voice low, eyes ablaze. “What _would_ you know?” 

For just a fraction of a second, Merus shoots Agent V a look with so much aggravation in it that Vegeta is sure his armour would have melted, had it been made out of anything less than the strongest material their universe has to offer. Living with Bulma has rendered him impervious to such heated glares, but there is something almost disconcerting about a look like that coming from a mild, calm persona like Merus.

It could have been a dead giveaway or at least a big hint, but luckily Kakarot looks about around the same time, as a-friendly ki signature comes towards them, saving further unwanted conflict. 

“Krillin, Piccolo! What took you guys so long!”

“We were watching from a bit further away… thought we’d get in your way,” Krillin replies, looking contrite. “Goku, that’s…?”

“Goku.” The Namek is shooting both agents a wary look. It feels so odd, to be on the other side of where trust extends now- almost painful, even if Vegeta is used to being mistrusted. “That is…” He nods over to where replica/other Vegeta and Fu is floating, eavesdropping and seemingly entertained by all their drama.

Kakarot drops the truth bomb on them like it isn’t a truth bomb,“It’s Vegeta,” Kakarot quickly supplies, and Krillin lets out a yelp, “but not the Vegeta we know,” he finishes. “It sounds like he’s from another timeline.”

“Uh, we… kinda figured…well, not the timeline bit, the not-actually-Vegeta bit.” Krillin swallows. “His ki is… slightly off...”

Vegeta is surprised for a moment that Krillin has picked up on the subtle nuances of a replica/other-Vegeta’s ki, but the feeling quickly dissolves into begrudging respect. Earth is where the prince learnt that it is possible to sense ki, after all; it made sense that their fighters would be sensitive enough to notice the ebb and tide of different variations of the same being.

The replica/other-Vegeta’s ki is difficult to describe. It is fiery, but muted. It is aggressive, but reigned in. It sings of the thirst of challenge, burning revenge, and the desire to power over everything, but it feels... off. It is tainted with something else that shouldn’t be there, something that doesn’t belong, something that feels more sinister than the ki of his owner.

Briefly Vegeta wonders how his ki had felt to Kakarot, as Majin. Corrupted, tainted. Foul. He feels all-too-familiar self-loathing, disguised as apathy and packaged as arrogance - _it doesn’t matter anymore, anyway_. He quickly squashes the thought down. It is not useful here.

“Who’s the other one, then?” 

“Some guy from the Demon Realm, related to Dabura or something like that,” Kakarot replies vaguely, clearly not caring very much. He stares out towards where other-Vegeta and Fu hover, both of them wearing looks of impatience and detached amusement respectively.

“I’m assuming he doesn’t have the best of intentions,” Piccolo says warily, which is fair. 

“They’re not bad guys,” Kakarot says, his voice strong and certain, like they didn’t just get their asses handed to them moments ago. 

“Oh, I very much am,” Other-Vegeta quips. His tail flicking lazily in the air, clearly no longer seeing them as a serious threat. “You’d be a fool to think otherwise.”

 _It’s like watching a rerun of myself, honestly_ , Vegeta thinks with a roll of his eyes.

“Nah,” Kakarot says dismissively, like he knows better, in that manner that Vegeta knows any version of himself would find extremely aggravating. “Maybe what you want isn’t what we want, but you’re not evil.” 

Vegeta would shake his head, but this is Kakarot, after all. Clearly Piccolo is of the same mind.“How do you know, Goku?”

“I just do.”

Piccolo lets out a long-suffering sigh, and if Vegeta wasn’t in a visor, he is sure he would be sharing a commiserating look with the Namekian. “What do you intend to do?”

Kakarot simply shrugs offhandedly. “I dunno. Still don’t get what Fu wants. But, well…” Even as his cheeks color slightly, younger saiyan’s eyes are steely, in that way that has never failed to make Vegeta take notice. “Even if he’s not our Vegeta, he’s… he’s still Vegeta. And well- I need to speak to him.” 

Well, shit.

Merus outright glares at Vegeta this time. He really should be careful, if Agent V’s cover is blown he will have no problems placing the blame squarely on Merus.

On his part, Vegeta feels… a miasma of things. Embarrassment for the younger saiyan. Infuriated that he still apparently has the same soft squishy thing of a heart, the same heart that had nearly let the world burn waiting for Vegeta to move out of the way of Buu’s blast, three years back. And, inconceivably, unwisely, moved.

Piccolo looks as though he is doing the telepathic version of a facepalm, but also like he’s conceding. “Goku, you have to be careful,” the Namek warns. “I sense something disruptive in his energy.”

Other-Vegeta scoffs loudly, drawing their attention back to him. “I’ll show you ‘disruptive’.” He glances at Fu irritatedly. “Fu, what are we waiting for, an invitation?!” 

Fu rolls his eyes and makes a curious, dismissive motion. Quite suddenly, the rebelliousness of Other-Vegeta seems to flicker out. “So impatient, cub,” he chastises. “Remember the end goal.”

“Are you going to enlighten us as to what that end goal is?” Piccolo challenges, always the most sensible of all the Dragon team.

“Yeah, maybe we can help, and it won’t have to come to blows between us!” And then there’s Kakarot, always the most bull-headed, foolishly optimistic.

“Unlikely.” As much as it is possible to look both entertained and bored at the same time, Fu does it very well. “I am trying to create the best possible future, and for that, I need to find the strongest fighters to join me.” Fu shrugs. “I need different timelines to play with. Yours is only one of many more to come. For my goal to succeed, your world would have to be destroyed. I imagine you aren’t going to happily allow it to happen. Though it would make my job easier.”

“Sorry, we’re not interested,” Kakarot quips, and Vegeta belatedly remembers that the younger saiyan can and has sassed him before, even on their very first meeting in the plains. At any other time, it might have made him smile.

“Ah, what a pity,” Fu chuckles. “Another saiyan in my arsenal would have been very useful. ”

“A saiyan?” Other-Vegeta’s gaze rests on Kakarot contemplatively. Vegeta feels his hackles rise and has to tamper down on the ridiculous urge of protectiveness. Where had that come from anyway? “I suppose I should have seen that, even with the ridiculous orange garb.” 

Well, definitely a Vegeta. Kakarot looks like he’s only just managing to hold in a laugh. “What’s your game, then?” He asks, directly addressing the replica. “Why are you working with him?” 

Other-Vegeta opens his mouth, but something happens then. Like something in his brain short circuits, and the snarl fades into a blankness that is almost eerie to see. Fu laughs, and to collective shock, reaches out to grasp the replica by the chin. “This one… is not quite all here,” Fu says. 

His voice turns almost dreamy as he studies Other-Vegeta. “I found him , quite by chance, on the brink of death,” Fu says. “I could see all the rage and sorrow in him. It was tearing him apart. I saved him, and merely released it, the way Demon King Dabura and Babidi did to those with impure hearts.”

_Just like I had been…_

The air suddenly feels heavy. Vegeta cannot breathe.

He is distantly aware that Agent Merus is glancing at his visor, probably in concern, but the former prince is too busy trying to remember how to draw air into his lungs.

“What...” Kakarot’s voice is disbelieving. “No, the Vegeta I know would have fought back!”

“Oh, he does have his moments of rebellion.” Fu caresses Other-Vegeta’s chin almost tenderly, in a way that makes Vegeta sick to his core. “I had other fighters - some of them versions of you... I cherished each of them, my treasured collection. But this rash little one has… disposed of them all, in a fit of temper."

That… sounds like something Vegeta would have done, at the height of his madness. He had done it, to Nappa in fact.

Horror and fury rises up like bile. 

“I had to discipline him…several times... until he’s learnt not to disobey me.” Fu laughs. “Now he listens to me, and no one else. Together, we have conquered many in search for utopia. We are unstoppable.”

Outrage begins to build. All the shame and fury and _why is it always, always me?_

Kakarot’s voice is a brewing storm, the promise of wrath on the horizon. “You… How dare you… he seethes. “I won’t let you get away with this!”

The younger saiyan looks a mere second away from coming after Fu, but he is a second too late.

Agent V makes the first move.

On a visceral level, Vegeta is aware of himself in the armor, flying straight at the two unwelcome entities, trembling with fury and ready to kill. But it feels like an out of body experience, like the countless times he has been consumed by rage in previous battles during his time in Frieza’s army. Like the very edges of sanity has been burnt away, and all that is left is violence. Like the time he watched Cell blast a hole clean through in Mirai Trunks’ chest, seen the blankness in his future son’s eyes. 

Fu meets his assault easily, and even as they begin to trade blows, Vegeta can tell he is overpowered, but he cannot think clearly. Vegeta cannot ascertain who he is more angry with: Fu for having the utter fucking nerve to take any version of the saiyan prince vegeta under his control, and treat him like some kind of pet slave- 

_-like that hasn’t happened before?-_ a mocking voice belonging to purple eyes and a reptilian smile whispers in his mind out of nowhere, and Vegeta **_burns_ ** from the fury and the utter **_shame_ **-

Or this other him, who apparently has all of Vegeta’s own shortcomings, made all his mistakes, all his crimes, and learnt nothing from it - who is so **_weak_ **that he is used like nothing but a plaything, a puppet to be controlled - a living doll with no pride -

Just like Vegeta himself has been-

Agent V powers up with a roar. The power that is coursing through his fingertips, initially directed towards Fu, abruptly changes trajectory. He directs to meet the other-Vegeta head-on instead.

“Agent V, **no**!” Kakarot is shouting, but in the split second before the blast hits his alternate self, Fu moves.

A flash. Fu is suddenly in front of Agent V, two fingers lifting his chin up and studying his mask. Red eyes meet dark ones, as if Fu is seeing straight through the visor.

Maybe Fu does.

“Oho. What do we have here.” The demon descendent guides Agent V’s chin, exposing his throat in a manner that feels horribly, horribly intimate, even with the armor, even without touching bare skin. “Things just became extremely interesting.”

Vegeta can’t help himself from flinching. Fu had moved far too fast, even with Vegeta’s instinctive defence mechanisms, formed through a lifetime of fighting. Disconcerted from both the faint pressure under his chin and the unnerving proximity of Fu, Vegeta misses the moment gloved fingers reach around and clamp down upon his neck. It feels like it is crushing his windpipe, even through the armor’s scales. It triggers faint memories that make him shudder.

“Agent V!” 

Vegeta is faintly aware that things are happening to his body - pain blooming everywhere, vertigo hitting sharp - but things are fading , everything except the sensation around his neck. Earth’s gray skies seem to blur into Namekian blue, the white gloves around his throat blur into a gray-white tail. 

And Vegeta can’t breathe. He can’t breathe.

He is back in Kid Buu’s chokehold, clay-like fingers and tentacles squeezing his windpipe. Broken body flung around like a toy, whose only purpose is to serve as an amusing plaything for Kid Buu’s twisted idea of fun.

He is back in the strange candy-land of HFIL, suspended between death and oblivion, Janemba’s tail grinding the bones of his throat to close in unnaturally together.

He is back in the grasp of Frieza’s tail, the light pressure somehow more heavy and damning than any armor; an ironic symbolism of the noose that has been around his neck since he was a child.

Agent V has choked off Prince Vegeta’s identity for three years now, but clearly, some traumas still live on.

He can’t breathe.

Everything seems to fade away.

_"... so when can we hold each other like this?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise. I hope it was a satisfying one. ><
> 
> 1\. There is a reason for Agent V's choice of color, for other-Vegeta's apparent power, for Fu's apparent insanity, Goku's instincts. Almost everything here is an easter egg that will lead somewhere.
> 
> 2\. For those who aren't in the know, Fu is a character in Dragon Ball. Heroes. I don't know much more about him other than his relation to Dabura, everything else I've made up myself. I didn't want to use an OC antagonist - I wanted someone who exists in the DB world, without too much character establishment yet so it gives me room to play around with their personality, like Merus.
> 
> 3\. You know the part in DBS broly movie when we see Goku busting out some Judo throws and Vegeta using some Capoiera movements against Broly? I watch DB for the characters, not fight scenes, but omg I couldn't stop watching those bits over and over again. I love that they show how skilled the saiyans are at fighting, not just about raw power but technique. And Vegeta is so quick!
> 
> I'm quite anxious about this chapter, the characterisation, striking the right balance between plot and humour and DB irony and interaction, but in the end, all I can do is give it my best love and hope you enjoyed it >< If anything about this chapter struck you, please let me know, I'd love to hear it :3 I write for love of these characters but reviews always make a little writer happy, a tiny bit of a smile for the brainwork and writing ^^ otherwise, thank you for your time in reading.
> 
> Tel me what you wnat to see, tell me what you liked, or ignore all that and tell me how HYPED/UNFEELING YOU ARE FOR THE NEW DBS ARC AHHHHHHHH <(OvO)> uwu
> 
> thanks to thewingedlady for the patient constant back and forth with my worried "but what if...?s", evilkitten3 for general awesomeness agent_38_scribs and agentpigeonton for always cheering me on, for constantly stimulating convos.


	5. Method in this Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some revelations are made, but not the right kinds. Goku is conflicted, and Vegeta is just a few seconds too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this chapter done for a while but kept tweaking it as a lot of it is building up to the main events. I fretted over it again and again until finally decided to send it to the world. Because flawed doesn't mean unworthy (something Vegeta need to learn.) Apologies for any shortcomings you might find. :<
> 
> Taking this time to wish all of you a Happy New Year!!!! ^^ I hope the coming year will be the kindest and happiest one for each and every one of you yet. <3 Thanks for taking the time to read and coming with me on this journey so far!

**_"Leave him alone!”_ **

Goku’s fury bursts like a tidal wave. With a roar, he ascends straight into Super Saiyan 2. The electric surge of the form seems to amplify his rage. Drawing on the power boost, as he skyrockets forward straight into Fu, forcing the demon descendant to let Agent V go. 

His (admittedly limited) interaction with Agent V so far gives Goku the impression that the agent is a capable fighter level headed and not quick to anger, similar to Merus. But the way Agent V had reacted to Fu - fiery, passionate, almost trembling with uncontrolled rage, whatever his reasons - reminds Goku of a certain prince. A prince whose alternate self is standing before them right then. All of it is jarring and **_none_ ** of it makes sense. And his instincts are telling him he is missing something, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on it.

It is usually far beyond Goku to leave a fight even momentarily, especially with his friends in the vicinity. But something in the way that Agent V has gone completely limp and takes Fu’s assault without fighting back - it makes alarm bells sound in his head, and his protective instincts are surging. 

And so Goku grabs Agent V, but doesn’t follow through his attack all the way, as his usual modus operandi. Fu rushes after him, while the other-Vegeta lets out a noise of frustration, clearly boiling for a challenge.

But Goku doesn’t care. Instead he puts two fingers to his forehead and teleports to a random cluster of wildlife nearby, focused on getting Agent V far away first to check on the state of the damage. Surely Merus is able to hold out against Fu for a while, especially if Goku’s suspicion that the agent is stronger than he lets on is correct. 

Gold hair fades to black as Goku purposely lowers his ki to negligible levels. He hopes to blend in with the fauna around him, that the cluster would briefly submerge them from Fu’s and other-Vegeta’s senses. Agent V doesn’t have ki, so that wouldn’t be an issue.

Goku sets the battered armour down gently on the grass, unsure how or where to put his hands and cause the least damage. Distantly he notes that even here the grassland is more the colour of dying leaves than it is the colour of fresh spring. It’s sad, and disturbing, but this isn’t the time to dwell on it. “Agent V, are you okay?” Goku asks, worried.

Goku has always been protective of the helpless. Though he doesn’t believe Agent V is helpless in the slightest, not if the ferocity in the way he fought earlier is anything to go by. Even in those short moments, outmatched as they are, Goku is able to see that he is an amazing fighter, with a fighting style so similar, so oddly in sync with Goku (so odd that Goku suffered a whiplash earlier…) but crafty and powerful in his own right.

But the moment Fu has him by the neck, the agent curiously goes limp. He takes the gruelling assault that follows without the slightest bit of self defense. As if all the fight drains out of him. As if he isn’t fully there. A weak spot of the armor the agent wears, maybe?

Goku isn’t sure why, but something about the visual image of Fu strangling Agent V has made him extremely alarmed, and very, very angry. 

Choking to death isn’t fun at all, of course, Goku knows from personal experience. Among others, the memory of Cooler’s wires wrapping around his throat, and Frieza’s attempt to strangle him with his tail before he bit down on it comes to mind. 

“Agent V?” He tries again.

Agent V has not given Goku an answer. Fu’s assault had been lazy, almost languid in its motion, but vicious in its landing. The armor the agent wears looks utterly damaged, off-white and crimson parts bent in unwieldy places. Maybe he is severely injured, under the armor? 

Or is he unconscious? Goku reaches out, intending to remove the crimson visor to check on Agent V’s state and help the agent breathe. But before he makes contact, the armored figure catches his arm, gripping it hard enough to break.

 **“** **_Don’t-”_ ** Agent V snarls- **“** **_touch - me!_ **” 

In the clearing, his voice is like a thunderclap. Goku draws back slightly in confusion and alarm. _Well, at least he’s not unconscious._

Agent V’s metal hand _twists,_ causing Goku to let out a pained noise. “Whoa - okay, okay!” He tugs his arm away and rubs it. “Sheesh!” Goku frowns, trying to keep his voice calm. “I’m- just trying to help you get some air-”

Agent V flinches back. “No-!” Even through the metallic quality, Goku can hear his voice cracking. “Don’t-!”

The agent is hissing, but there is something disoriented and vulnerable about the way his body is hunched. It is so different from the level-headed agent Goku met earlier in the day that Goku is immediately concerned again. Maybe Agent V is concussed? He should check that, right? The visor looks pretty tough and painful if something softer and squishy like a human head was to bang against it. And at this point in time, Goku’s now fairly sure that there is a human under that armor, or whatever the space equivalent of a soft and squishy human is.

“Okay, okay,” Goku says, keeping both hands wide in what he hopes is a soothing motion. It doesn’t seem to work at all in appeasing Agent V, so Goku tries another tack and steps back, keeping his voice level. “Can… Can I get Agent Merus to help? Is that okay?”

“No! Just go away!” 

Goku bites his lip. “Sorry, Agent V, I think we need to get you out of that suit.”

Agent V doesn’t seem to agree, but he doesn’t seem to be in a state to. Even with the armour Goku can see minute signs of trembling, a completely disoriented person inside. 

Goku's worry increases exponentially. He has a feeling Agent V is badly injured.What if the collapsed section around the neck is hindering the agent’s breathing? The Earth-raised saiyan’s instincts are screaming at him to remove the armor. But currently he cannot even come near the guy. 

Maybe Agent Merus would be able to convince him? Goku could teleport away to get Agent Merus. But Agent V has no ki signature to lock on to, so finding him again could be a problem.

There is movement in the corner of Goku’s vision. Some of the furry woodland creatures are peeking their heads out, looking curiously at their intruders. In a flash of inspiration, Goku grabs one of the smaller, cat-like creatures and places it near Agent V. He quickly rearranges some rocks around and above it so that the little thing can’t escape while he memorises its ki signal. 

The cat-like thing lets out a distressed meow and gazes at him seemingly in reproach. Goku strokes its head quickly. “Sorry, it’s just going to be for a little while,” he tells it apologetically.

He then turns to Agent V and speaks louder, hoping to comfort, even if the agent didn’t seem to want it, or to hear him for that matter. “I’m going to get Agent Merus, okay? I won’t be long.”

Since he can’t sense Merus’ ki itself (that is something he wants to ask Merus about), Goku locks on to Fu’s ki and teleports to where his new adversary is. Whatever works, right. Both Merus and Fu jump at Goku’s arrival. But Goku doesn’t even bother saying hi, throwing a punch or explaining- he just grabs Merus, on second whim grabbing Piccolo and Krillin as well, and in a flash they are back at the woodland clearing. He urgently pushes Merus towards where Agent V and the cat(?) is, talking rapidly. 

“Merus, V’s hurt- I think we need to get him out of the armor, but he won’t let me come close,” Goku rambles on, aware he is doing so but not particularly caring to stop. 

To his credit, Merus just shrugs off the abrupt change in scenery and adrenaline like nothing. He catches on enough of Goku’s ramblings to understand, and bends down on one knee to run an assessing eye over Agent V’s form.

Agent V jerks away at the proximity. Even as Goku absent-mindedly releases the little cat back into surroundings (the little thing lets out a sharp “Mao” and gives him the baby equivalent of a dirty look), he realizes how defensive agent V’s posture is. A far cry from the cool, detached air he had when they had first met just hours ago. 

It feels- really **wrong** \- to see him in this state.

“Agent V, I suspect you are concussed. I would also like to check you for asphyxiation damage.” Merus’ voice is calm enough, but he looks perturbed as he glances at Goku. “May I absolve you of your armor?” 

Agent V huddles in on himself even more. “No.” Goku suffers a weird moment of utter exasperation and desire to strangle the agent, then wonders where the familiarity of that came from. 

Merus glances at Goku, and then back at Agent V. Goku gets the flash of insight that maybe his own presence is the problem and frowns, both in curiosity and maybe even a little bit of hurt. But he is quick to shrug it off - it isn’t hard to guess that Agent V and Merus are both hiding something. It is **_weird_ **, but he supposes everyone has their secrets. Maybe Agent V has something he needs to protect, someone that would be in danger if his secrets were revealed.

People often pull up Goku for being impulsive and trusting to the point of being naive. When in fact, he is intuitive and stubbornly optimistic - able to look at someone to their very core and see the good in them. Some misinterpret it as recklessness to the point of stupidity, but Goku doesn’t care enough to mind- he has the apathy of someone who knows exactly who they are, who is confident enough in their strengths and weaknesses that others’ judgment washes over and evaporates like foam. 

The point is, while his instincts are screaming, Goku is more than willing to give Agent V and Merus the benefit of the doubt. He’s done that with multiple enemies in the past, and most of them turn out to be his greatest allies and friends. 

“Agent V, ” Merus is saying in a strained voice, “I understand your reservations but - some things are necessary-”

‘I’ll leave,” Goku interrupts, “I’ll leave - I should go deal with Fu anyway, and save other-Vegeta-” 

Merus’ look changes to something intense and almost strange, but well, this whole situation is strange, so Goku doesn’t think much about it- “Just - take care of him-”

He locks on to Fu’s ki, and teleports back.

* * *

The familiar “dropping” sensation of teleporting - from gravity to sudden weightlessness - is something Goku can never get used to, no matter how many times he does it. He’s done it enough times that he can act within a split second of disappearing from one place and reappearing in another, but sometimes it can still throws him off. 

Like today, when unexpected things are happening too quickly for his brain to catch up.The change in scenery from dead decaying woodland to gray skies doesn’t help matters. 

As he materializes in front of Fu and other-Vegeta, Goku realizes too late that he should have probably taken Piccolo and Krillin away too, if he means to give Merus and Agent V privacy. Oh well. Piccolo has more tact than almost all his friends put together, Goku is sure the Namekian would catch on.

“And the coward returns,” that achingly-familiar haughty voice greets him. 

Goku meets other-Vegeta’s stormy eyes in a challenge, ignoring Fu. “My name is Goku, not coward.” Well, he’s certainly been looking forward to hearing Vegeta’s gravelly voice again, but never in these circumstances. The saiyan side of him doesn’t like his courage being challenged - it feels like an insult.

“Goku is not a saiyan name,” Other-Vegeta challenges coolly, his tone is almost affably curious. Like Vegeta had been all those years ago before their battle brought all his fiery temper to the fore.

“Well, you’re right about that.” Goku smiles fondly, a bit sad. “My version of you calls me Kakarot.” How long has it been since he’s been called by that name... Never did Goku think he would miss it. He shakes off the thought - it isn’t of any use here.

“Well, **_Kakarot,”_ **other-Vegeta drawls, deciding to call Goku by his saiyan name, as if in an attempt to irritate him, “Cowards run away from battle, which is what you were doing.” 

“I wasn’t running away.” _Not from you,_ Goku thinks. “I was taking care of a friend.”

Other-Vegeta laughs, a soft mocking noise that makes Goku uncomfortable, because he hears the nuances of his Vegeta in that chuckle, and it’s as comforting as it is jarring. “Saiyans don’t have friends.”

“This one does.” 

“Then you aren’t a true saiyan.”

“Hm.” Kami, this conversation almost feels like a flashback to when he and Vegeta first crossed paths on those barren plains, all those years ago. Goku can’t help a smile at the memory. “Well, my version of you in this timeline had friends too, and he is the truest saiyan I’ve ever met.” Not that Goku’s met many, but this Vegeta doesn’t need to know that.

Other-Vegeta scoffs, as if reading Goku’s mind. “And you’ve met many of them, have you?” 

Well, whoops. “You caught me,” Goku admits with a big grin that makes the Other-Vegeta’s eyes narrow.

“Are you always such a clown?” He sneers. Goku has to bite his tongue to keep from laughing at how similar his Vegeta and this one is, but then, they are technically different versions of the same person.

“My version of you seems to think so.” Goku smiles fondly, sadly. Kami, even the sneer looks the same as his Vegeta…

But Goku can’t keep letting himself get hit by nostalgia like this. What Agent V and Merus said earlier is true —this is a fight he has to take seriously, even if his purposes are different to theirs.

After all, there are enough visual differences to be able to tell them apart. This Vegeta is muscular, but smaller, like the Vegeta he remembers from that first fight- a Vegeta who probably is allowed just enough sustenance to keep himself alive and functional. He has a tail, which Goku is trying not to stare at in fascination as he vaguely becomes more conscious of the loss of his own extra limb. Most of all, this Vegeta has _bangs._

Personally, Goku finds it … really, really cute, but he is sure that whatever version of Vegeta he says that to will quite happily claw his face all the way into next week.

Other-Vegeta is scowling. “You speak of me in this timeline so strangely, as if you know him well. I can’t imagine what he’s doing with the likes of you. Where is he? Why is he not in this battle?” 

Something in Goku’s chest tightens, and he goes for a misleading answer. “He’s not here right now.”

A loud chuckle interrupts them both, and it is Goku’s turn to narrow his eyes at Fu. “What’s so funny?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Fu grins like he knows something Goku doesn’t, and Goku feels the alien urge to punch him. “This is all very entertaining, really.”

Apparently other-Vegeta feels the same ire. “What are you hiding from me?!” he snaps. Fu raises one eyebrow, gestures, and there it is again- other-Vegeta’s eyes seem to lose some of its fire, sliding into blankness.

It is disturbing enough to watch the first time. Now, watching that scowl fade, Goku feels something like embers beginning to spark. The same kind of lurking rage that led him to squeeze Frieza’s arm until the tyrant’s bones had crunch together, like that first time he burned super saiyan.

No.

This isn’t acceptable. 

Vegeta - whatever version of Vegeta- shouldn’t be like this. Vegeta is fiery and fierce and proud, all the flaws that are also his strength, not… docile like this.

Goku meet’s Fu’s eyes in a glare. Fury has never willingly been Goku’s chosen source of power, but for that reason, it is always particularly potent when he uses it.

“What are you doing to him?” Goku sharply gestures to other-Vegeta, whose blank look is slowly dissipating. “Why does he listen to you?”

“So angry,” Fu sighs, languidly floating over. “Are you saiyans always so angry? This little cub certainly was.” 

His long purple fingers reach out, caressing other-Vegeta again. It’s a sight that makes Goku sick to his stomach, and he’s not sure why- maybe because he knows without a doubt that his Vegeta wouldn’t have allowed this kind of contact from anyone.

It’s a violation, and maybe Goku has no right to be this upset, but he _is_ -

In a flash Goku is there, gripping the fingerless gloves Fu wears with enough force that it would have broken a human palm. Fu looks surprised, even mildly impressed. 

“Stop touching him,” Goku growls, and while it’s jarring to hear those words coming from himself, he has no regrets about saying them. “He’s not a toy for you to play with.”

Fu has the gall to smirk back. “And he’s yours?” Despite Fu’s palm in the state of almost being crushed by Goku’s fingers, it feels like the demon descendant holds the dominating hand in that space.

Goku hesitates, but tightens his grip. “He isn’t, but Vegeta’s my friend and I know he would hate someone doing this to him.” _Like he’s a slave. A puppet to be controlled._

“You have a good heart, Son Goku,” Fu says, almost admiringly. “But he is not the one you seek. He will not hesitate to slaughter every last one of you. Stop trying to save those who forewent death for disgrace and destruction.”

Stupidly cryptic as always. As Goku opens his mouth, he feels it before he sees it - the trademark spike of ki ready to attack, rising behind him. He lets go of Fu’s hand just in time to avoid being hit by a double-axe handle that would have decapitated a normal human, and only barely the follow up kick that would have doubtless broken a rib or two.

Vegeta is comparably leaner than Goku, speed and viciousness making up for his lesser mass. And this other-Vegeta with his curiously mutated aura is stronger than the Vegeta Goku knows, with no recognition of Goku as an ally.

Goku is not often sad. He feels sadness like any other person, but to him, sadness only serves the purpose of signalling to him that something about the state he’s in needs to change.

But right at this moment, Goku feels the heaviness in his heart, as he finally recognizes and admits that other-Vegeta is a real threat.

Goku positions himself so that he has both Fu and other-Vegeta in his view. This is not a space or position he wants to be in, but be in it he must.

“Fu,” There’s other Vegeta, looking at them both with confused, angry eyes. His tail is wound tightly around his waist, but Goku gets the strange sense that it would have been fluffing up in agitation had it been let loose. “What’s going on? What-”

“Don’t worry, little cub, you’ll get your turn to play soon,” Fu says, almost soothingly, and now that Goku knows what to look out for, he sees the way other-Vegeta appears to do that blank-out thing and...obey. It makes Goku want to _snarl_ and hit something, preferably something that is actively hurting someone else. 

“That- that! Why do you call him that? And why does he listen?”

Fu cocks his head to one side, his red pupils curious. “You’ve seen this before, have you not? Demon King Dabura has used this on the Vegeta of your timeline.”

“Vegeta let him in,” Goku defended, though he’s not even sure what he is defending. “And he took back control easily- every time Babidi or Dabura ordered him to do something he fought back.”

“Is that so? How interesting,” Fu muses, his tone light and thoughtful as if they aren’t discussing something as serious as mind control. “This one lacks that capacity to fight.” The demon descendant pauses considering. “Well, perhaps once he was able to, but certainly not now.”

“What did you do to him?!”

“Can’t tell you all my secrets, can I?” Fu has the gall to wink at Goku. Goku’s desire to punch him exponentially increases, and maybe this is what it’s like, to carry such bitterness and rage within you all the time that you absolutely have to pass on your rage to someone else.

But Fu doesn’t seem to be fueled by rage… if anything, his approach is almost playful, as if he doesn’t much care for what he is doing even as he does it.

His red pupils are studying Goku thoughtfully. “...Yes, I think you’ll do just fine for our purposes.”

Crystal clear, as always, not stupidly confusing at all. “I don’t understand you,” Goku says, lips pursing in slight annoyance. “Why are you doing this? What do you want with our universe? And what’s Vegeta got to do with it?”

“My, my, all the questions.”

“They’ll stop once you start giving answers,” Goku quips, because he’s Goku and he’s secretly a smartass. Vegeta has called him out on before in one of their many spars, and while Goku had acted clueless then, it is entirely true. 

Fu looks as if he’s considering, then his expression changes to one of amusement. “I want revenge against you, like every other villain you’ve met.”

Goku blinks. “Eh, really?” he asks, disbelief coloring his tone. He doesn’t see why Fu had any reason to want vengeance against him, but it would explain why Fu chose Vegeta as his pawn.. “Revenge for… Dabura’s death?” A wild guess.

“Of course not!” Fu’s amused expression abruptly morphs into a snarl. The shift from mocking to enraged is so jarring that it makes Goku blink.

So, guess the languidness is just a mask, then.

There is something deeply disturbing about the rapid emotional change. Luckily, Goku’s fairly used to dealing with adversaries who don a thin mask of coolness that hide the turbulence underneath, so he doesn’t let it affect him. Instead he uses it to prod further.

“Then, why-?”

Fu is suddenly in front of Goku. This close, Fu towers over Goku by almost half a head. Goku gets a flash of insight that this must be what it’s like for Vegeta for almost every opponent they’ve gone against. Goku can count on one hand the number of opponents who’d been taller than him as an adult, and it doesn’t really matter, but it does.

“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” Fu says, enunciating each word clearly, as if making sure they are heard and understood. “Instead of telling you, I will just show you.”

Goku has enough time to feel alarmed before his vision goes dark.

“Time to sleep, Goku.”

* * *

_(For as long as Fu can remember, he has been destined for darkness.)_

_“Hello, my demon child.”_

_Darkness. Artifical light. Clinical voices. Multiple experiments. His skin prodded over and over. Abject pain. His memory keeps getting rewritten, so it should fade. But the ghosts of sensation remain._

_Fu doesn’t know which of his memories are real, and which are false. He knows some are transplanted inside his head, to make him obey their ideals._

_Created for one purpose alone, to revive the Demon Realm’s glory and control the universe._

_Made to destroy._

_This is what they want him to do, so do it he must. He is created and born for this._

_But this isn’t what Fu wants._

_The first flash of awareness comes when Towa (his head taught to identify as “Mother”, his heart identifies as “paingiver”) slips up some chant or another. It results in chaos: Fu is a savage, ravaging beast destroying their homeland. He doesn’t want to be this. He isn’t this. He wants out._

_Like a beast turned feral because it is stolen from the wilderness it belongs in. Like a child exposed to constant danger when their rightful place is safety at home._

_They get him under control, but the spark is lit. The next time, Fu will not lose again._

_The next time, he slaughters them all._

_You created me to destroy. So destroy you, I have._

_\----_

_Towa laughs at him as she burns to her demise._

_‘Do you think you can escape what you are created to do? You are destined to burn the world into ashes, my child.’_

_“I’m not-” he screams “-your child!”_

_But the words mean nothing, not when he doesn’t believe in it himself._

_\-----_

_Wandering from realm to realm without a purpose. Just seeing what is out there. Chaotic neutral. Why does Fu exist now? He can’t die, but this is living death._

\----

_Fu leaves destruction in his wake. It isn’t intentional. Darkness follows him, like regret follows those quick to anger. Fu is made for darkness._

_The dark follows him everywhere,clinging to his bones. It is not something he can shake off_

_He stops trying._

_\----_

_In one timeline, he observes a team of misfit fighters. Some are clad in orange, some in royal blue, some green skinned, some with chilling blue cybernetic eyes. Different heights, sizes and abilities, but the one thing they all share rises to fight against their would-be destroyer, the darkness Fu unwittingly carries with him._

_Their words still ring in Fu’s mind, laced with pointless courage. Pointless because they were all destroyed anyway._

_“Sometimes, we have to look beyond what we want and do what’s best.”_

_“Power is nothing without being guided by love.”_

_“I am the protector of the innocent. I am the light in the darkness. I am the truth. Ally to good! Nightmare to you!_

_“When you’re harming others, you’re also harming yourself.”_

_“Push through the pain, giving up hurts more!”_

_“It might not be your fault you became what you are, but it is your responsibility to fix it.”_

_“No, we can’t lose!”_

_They do of course, but Fu is left in awe._

_He begins to think differently._

_The fragile and breakable creatures are destined to die, their lifespan laughably shirt compared to Fu’s immortality… yet they rage against their destiny until their last moment._

_It puts Fu to shame._

_He can fight against his destiny too. He can try._

_That timeline is nothing but ashes when he leaves, but Fu likes to think the flames of their fighting spirit lived on through him._

_They created him to destroy._

_“But Towa, you were wrong. I will create the ultimate sanctuary, a utopia instead.”_

_\----_

_Fu may be a demon descendant who carries destruction wherever he goes, but under that veneer he is fully capable of thinking practically. A gentleman demon._

_In his utopia, he needs powerful people._

_But power can corrupt. He’s seen that in too many different timelines, how mortals turn on their own for a chance at power in whatever form it takes for them._

_Power is a minimum requirement, not the final criteria._

_For a utopia, Fu needs powerful people with good hearts. Those who protect the weak. Whose nobility can be played upon to achieve his final destination. All for the greater good._

_So from that moment, instead of abject destruction, Fu begins to focus his vision._

_He directs his darkness to corrupt and destroy the evil, the scumbags, the murderers. He leaves only the pure- hearted and the good._

_In the wake of destruction, Fu always offers them a chance to join him._

_If they say yes to join Fu and his vision of utopia, then all is well with the world, minus a few flames here and there in theirs._

_If they say no, that means they can’t be good people, because they don’t agree with him and his desire for the ultimate sanctuary._

_Their goodness must be corrupted. So he disposes of them too. Simple, practical decision, nothing personal behind it._

_——-_

_One day, one random timeline, Fu chances upon a fallen warrior. Barely a child, just reaching his adult years. His opponent’s lizard tail in pieces beside him. The child warrior had won his battle and his war, but lost all of his life in the process. The eyes are full of hatred, but also misery and quiet regret._

He made me what I am. I never had a chance to be anything else.

_Well, that sounds familiar._

_Fu cannot help but feel empathy for this dying, insignificant spitfire._

_So he binds his life force to the boy, extending his life._

_What is your name?_

_Vegeta._

_Fu smiles._

_This boy may not fit his criteria, but he proves to be amusing and useful._

_His thirst to prove himself is a string Fu is delighted to pull and play._

_We will create a better future, and defy those who tried to shape us into something we aren’t._

_\---------_

_Small for his age, terrifyingly strong, powerful and royal by birthright but a slave in actual life._ _Born into a position of power and prestige in theory but a slave in the practice._

_The boy is sometimes more trouble than he is worth, but Fu favors him anyway._

* * *

Piccolo would like it to be recorded that he is not psychic, as some of the Dragon Team used to believe. Contrary to popular suspicion, he and the fragment of Kami that still lives within him do not “read” thoughts. Instead they are energy-sensitive, if a bit more than Earthling, saiyans and most races are. And like everything that exists, a thought in its purest form is energy. Unlike a physical shell, energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed into another form. 

What Piccolo _is_ is energy-sensitive. And thus he senses that Agent V and Merus are not exactly who they claim to be. Which is why their presence immediately sets him on edge.

It isn’t about the lack of ki. While Piccolo can’t be certain, the fragment of Kami inside him tells him that Merus’ energy reverberates on the same scale as the Kai’s, suggesting that the agent is related to the factions of godly establishment in some way. It isn’t relevant or particularly a bad thing, and the Namekian can see why Merus would prefer not to touch on this - they all have their own skeletons, after all- so he does not pry.

Agent V, though. That one is an interesting one.

Unlike Merus, whose ki is just amorphous, Agent V’s feels -odd. Like someone, or something, is actively suppressing it. A ki-cognizant fighter won’t be able to sense it unless they are focusing really hard, but as a Namekian for whom meditation forms a large part of his training, and part-Kami who is energy-sensitive, Piccolo is able to pick up on it with little difficulty. 

What does Agent V have to hide?

At first, Piccolo thinks it’s the possibility of an enemy in disguise that prods him to observe the agent carefully. As he watches the Galactic Patrol agents interact with Goku, though, Piccolo’s starting to suspect something else. Something so implausible but at the same time, so characteristic of the person he suspects, that he’s willing to consider the theory.

Piccolo can tell that Goku senses it too, without being able to understand what he is sensing. The saiyan has always had strong intuition, his easy trust of it almost making up for the relative difference between the saiyan’s ability to sense ki and Piccolo’s. It’s small wonder that Goku is good at ki sensing. He has to hone it multiple times for teleporting. They’re skills that grow together. Goku’s signature technique of Teleportation which relies heavily on ki-tracking has likely only sharpened his sensitivity to energy, closing that gap between them even more.

But Goku is distracted by his interactions. And the earth-raised saiyan is still heartbroken from 3 years prior, and doesn’t know what he’s looking for. Piccolo knows this with the quiet certainty of someone who has watched over and cared for Gohan’s heartbreak during Goku’s 7 years away in the Otherworld.

Things escalate quickly, but Piccolo has always been sharp and has the privilege of being a bystander, so he sees certain things, and his suspicion is rising.

Goku disappears from sight, doubtless to face Fu and probably attempt to break alternate Vegeta out of the demon descendant’s hold. Piccolo and Krillin are left to watch as Agent V huddles to one side with Merus trying his best to coax and approach. The armored agent is snarling, refusing to accept treatment he clearly needs, and his strong-headedness is eerily similar to certain fighters Piccolo knew. Knows. 

Piccolo thinks it’s time some things are revealed. 

“Krillin.” The monk looks up, surprised at Piccolo’s grim tone. “Would you go back to the ship and warn Bulma and the others about what’s going on.” It is phrased like a request, but is really an order. “I will take these two to Dende.” 

“...eh?” Krillin frowns. “Wouldn’t it be easier to-”

“Krillin.” Piccolo catches his eye. “Can you imagine how Bulma would react if they saw the other Vegeta? How about Trunks? Please go to Bulma, and don’t let anyone come here -keep them far away from us and Goku. Bad things are about to happen, very fast.”

“... alright, Piccolo.” 

The two pause to share the grim look of the strong but sidelined: warriors who have once been at their zenith and are now relegated to becoming bystanders, but are determined to give everything they have regardless. Once Krillin leaves, Piccolo turns back to the two agents before him.

“Agent Merus.” Purple-silver eyes look up at Piccolo warily. “Can you teleport? I will bring you to our guardian healer, Dende.”

“I am not certain that is the best idea. I do not know how much damage Agent V has sustained under the armor- I am reluctant to move him.”

“He seems mentally distraught.” Piccolo observes, and Merus hesitates before nodding grimly. The agent’s next words are wrought with caution. “I believe that Agent V has had particularly horrible memories of being strangled mid-battle.”

Piccolo nods. “I will bring Dende here then.” His cloak billows in the gust of the wind, like nature itself is holding its breath. “Rest your mind, Merus. It is safe to remove Agent V’s armor. I will not divulge to anyone his real persona.”

“That is very kind of you, Piccolo,” Merus says courteously with a warm smile. Piccolo can already see the light of refusal in the Agent’s eyes. “I’m afraid I still cannot do so without Agent V’s direct permission however.”

The steadfast reply makes Piccolo’s respect for the agent rise. Piccolo decides to go straight for the killer. “I believe I know his identity.”

Merus stills. 

“And truth be told, the continuous evasion only further confirms it for me,” Piccolo decides to add for good measure. “If I am right, Dende will be familiar with his needs and be the best person to provide assistance.” 

Dende would also likely recognize straight away who or what it is he is healing. Different bodies and species, from saiyan to earthling to namekians, all have different healing paths and energy requirements. Saiyans are straight up powerhouses and require more energy to heal than a Namekian, for instance, whose self-regenerating capabilities demand much less sustenance.

“If your assumptions are correct… my best course of action is to agree.” Merus is still looking wary. “However, I have one condition. I ask that you and your guardian not interfere with Agent V’s… delicate situation… after all this is over. Let him make his own decisions. It is not one he has come to lightly.”

Piccolo wants to argue- if Agent V is truly who he suspects, then it isn’t just his decision he has to concern himself with. 

But Piccolo knows something about self deprecation and lost purpose, the way it can sink into one's bones and make itself at home there, like a second pulse, a damning heartbeat. 

The part of Nail inside him knows that sometimes, one withdraws from the world not because of defeat, but as the last desperate attempt at survival.

The piece of Kami inside him also knows the strength it takes to have made a hard decision that one truly believes is the best path to take, and how hard it is to keep finding the strength to push through when the whole world is against it.

And so, Piccolo agrees. “You have my word, I will not interfere once all of this is done with.”

And he waits. He attempts to look as milly amused and non-judgmental as Namekianly possible. Which is not very much when one’s face structure is literally a frown, but he’s trying.

Merus’ silver purple eyes lift assessingly to meet his, and all attempts fade as Piccolo feels a chill, not unlike what he had felt the first time in the presence of the Kaio Shin. It feels like Merus is looking into the very depths of Piccolo’s being, of Kami’s, even the dormant and dying Nail. Passing judgment. Gauging his honesty.

And whatever Merus sees must have met approval, because some of the tension bleeds out of the agent’s lean, wiry form, and he nods. “I can see that you have the best of intentions. Very well, we will truly appreciate your guardian’s help.”

“...What _are_ you…?” Piccolo wonders, his usually gruff voice almost a whisper. Whatever transpired just now is so out of his comprehension that it leaves him uncharacteristically befuddled.

Merus smiles almost sadly. “Something I was born into, and cannot reject. I can only choose to do more, and to do better.”

That, Piccolo can understand. He remembers Piccolo Sr.’s expectations, remembers the weight of legacy, and remembers choosing a different way in spite of it, after all. 

Like Merus. Like who Piccolo suspects Agent V truly is.

As Piccolo leaves to get Dende, he casts around for Goku’s ki, sensing the saiyan in the vicinity of Fu and alternate Vegeta. 

_You are the fulcrum of many things, Goku, but each of us had been and is responsible for finding our own paths._

* * *

When Vegeta comes to his senses, it is with disoriented fury and directionless aggression. He leaps to sabatoned feet, ready to tear someone’s throat out. There is a sensation of imbalance that is very strange, but Vegeta is too wired to understand properly what it means.

A quarterstaff redirects the motion Vegeta’s instinctive strike immediately, causing it to go wide. Wary purple-silver eyes meet his crimson visor. Everything rushes back, and Vegeta exhales a breath, feeling like his lungs are finally working properly for the first time in what felt like infinity.

Seeing Merus is a relief, even if a light one. The prince lowers his guard halfway, and that’s when he feels it. 

Realises it.

The weird feeling of imbalance, like his body is recalibrating its coordination. The strange sensation at the base of his spine. The brush of soft fur. Familiar in a way that is jarring. Familiar despite not being there for more than 13 years. Familiar like reacquainting with a skill once mastered and long forgotten. Familiar like relearning how to use a hitherto disabled/incapacitated limb.

Vegeta’s tail is back. 

It is squished in the fauld of his armor, wiggling for freedom, but it is very much present.

.

What. 

The actual. 

“Merus…?” Vegeta will one day look back and be proud of how steady and calm his voice is. Because as unpredictable things go, he is rapidly reaching his limit of steadiness and calm for the day. Perhaps for the entirety of his lifetime. “What.” 

Merus scans the Prince from head to toe, giving a very good impression of seeing him through the armor, and smiles. “Ah, I am assuming it worked.” The agent is the closest Vegeta’s ever seen him to be cheerful. “Your tail is back.”

In the cramped space between the armor fauld and his actual suit, he can feel the furry thing twitch. “I noticed.” Unsure of what to feel (relief, even joy? That his tail is back? Or angry that this was done while he was unable to consent?) Vegeta opts for his backup armor of sarcasm. “That doesn’t even begin to explain anything, but I imagine we’ll get there soon.”

“It will help the coming battle,” Merus tells him seriously, and Vegeta knows at that moment he is speaking not as an agent but as a trainee angel. “You will need it to win. So I requested for Earth’s guardian to Dende fully heal you and restore it.”

And that’s when Vegeta notices the small, green-skinned figure slightly to the side of Merus, whose ki he should have picked up on earlier.

Dende’s solemn, drawn face is a study in neutrality. “Hello, ah… Agent V.” 

The small Namekian looks exhausted. Vegeta’s momentary confusion is replaced by comprehension- clearly, the Namekian has just used a lot of energy in healing- and then, tension. 

Vegeta doesn’t know the first thing about the actual healing process. However, he has dabbled briefly in the theory from Frieza’s archives in the PTO, back before deciding that offence is his best defence. So the prince knows enough about unique healing pathways to understand the implications. 

Each species has its own unique ki pathways and markers. There is no way Dende would have missed out on discovering that the man in the armor is pure-blooded saiyan. Saiyans had very distinct ki pathways after all, and to add to that, Vegeta is no lightweight in the energy requirement department. Likely, Dende knows or at least suspects Agent V’s true identity, even with the armor not being removed.

Indeed, Dende’s beady eyes hint of deeper knowledge, but the guardian only smiles warmly at him. “It’s a relief to find that you are in relatively good health, V- ah, Agent V.”

Inside the visor, Vegeta’s jaw works a bit, before he turns a glare on Merus. It is unlikely Merus is able to see or sense it, but Vegeta’s always been a trier. 

“I chose to the best of my judgment.” Merus doesn’t look the least bit apologetic. “You needed healing, whether you think you did or not. This is the best way without removing your armor, which would have broadcasted your ki like a beacon.”

“Hn.” Vegeta supposes he can’t argue with that logic, but he doesn’t have to agree with it.

“You do not have to worry, Agent V. They have agreed not to interfere.”

The word **_they_ **is when Vegeta becomes conscious of Piccolo’s presence. It’s both irritating and disconcerting. Hereally should be quicker on the uptake- this disorientation is just embarrassing, but the revival of his tail is throwing his other senses off balance as they begin to recalibrate their functions. 

The prince’s half guard instinctively turns into a battle stance, even as he tucks the soft fur around his waist as best as he can under the armor. Dende is pacifist enough not to do so, but Piccolo may force confrontation or confession.

Piccolo doesn’t. Vegeta has to respect the Namekian’s cool approach, as he merely raises one eyebrow.

“This stays between us.” Agent V’s voice modulators are still working well despite the damage to the armor, but the damage to the situation has been done.

“Hm.” Piccolo makes a sound that can be taken for acquiescence. Slightly. If one were to squint and stand on one leg. But Vegeta has not made it this far by taking things for granted.

“Piccolo.” A clipped tone that demands confirmation. 

This time Piccolo nods. “Merus had already asked for me not to interfere." Doubtless you have your reasons,” the Namekian says wryly. “You’re going to have to do better at keeping up your disguise however. Goku knows something is off.” 

Vegeta doesn’t trust himself to say anything right then, so he doesn’t.

Piccolo fills in the silence for him. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you never cease to surprise me.” 

_Yeah, Piccolo, fuck you too._ Vegeta scowls, remembering similar words when they faced Majin Buu three years ago. “Shut up, Namekian.”

Instead of taking offence, there is a rare smile on Piccolo’s face. “Good to see that you’re still as prickly as ever… Agent V.”

Vegeta is working his way up to a higher quality scowl, about to show him how prickly Agent V is, but that exact moment, he feels it. It happens so swiftly it makes his tail bristle even in its cramped space. 

In the distance, Kakarot’s ki drops so swiftly that it feels like a gust of wind…

and just. Blips out.

Like it had after Cell.

Vegeta feels his knees go weak, his heart thunder, his heart turn to ice.

Piccolo, Dende and Merus all sense it too, by the different ways they all tense, but for Vegeta, it’s as though all the color and sounds of the world bleed out to one muted shade and tone.

He can’t feel Kakarot’s ki.

He can’t feel Kakarot’s ki.

_Kakarot, no._

_No._

* * *

My imagination of other -Vegeta with bangs, tail, leaner (?) physique and crimson aura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Other than continuously playing with the identity confusion, my main focus for this chapter is on describing sensations - the feel of ki and intent, Piccolo's "psychic"ness and three separate life experiences, sensation of fur, the thought pathway of a dictator, etc. perhaps at the expense of the main two focus Goku and Vegeta. I promise this is leading up to their faceoff and Kakavege dynamic.  
> 2\. I wanted Fu to be a sympathetic villain - not evil just for the sake of it, his motives are understandable, his execution is not. As I wrote him I couldn't help thinking about how the androids , Vegeta, and even Piccolo were all slated to be creatures of destruction like he was. I want to hug them all now. :<  
> 3\. 1. From the last chapter - You can argue that Goku would recognize Vegeta’s left hook anywhere, it would be a dead giveaway. I agree to a certain extent, but my view is that saiyans evolve and learn new things very fast. Ie in DBS Broly, we see Vegeta and Goku both busting out MA moves that we’ve never seen them use (Capoiera, Judo etc.) While I’m sure that’s more a nod to the directors and animators’ skill than to the characters’ evolution of skill, I think it makes sense that in the time they’ve been separate, both Goku and agent V would have picked up on different styles of fighting. The same way I’m sure if Nappa was ever to come back to life and spar against Vegeta, he would see that Vegeta’s fighting style had become dirty/ mixed with that of Earth’s. It’s similar enough to recognize that it comes from the same person/family, but not enough to be the same after three years. Someone closely watching would probably be able to see the origin of it straight away (Piccolo???) but Goku currently has too many things to deal with, my poor baby carrot D: :D
> 
> As always, reviews are appreciated, otherwise thank you so much for taking the time to read <3


	6. The Skeletons We Can't Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agent V’s muttering something Goku can’t quite catch, and he has to strain to hear it: “I’d appreciate a faster reply next time, Ka-Goku.”
> 
> Goku instantly goes from sleepy to high alert. “What did you just call me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THIS - Beloved and respected readers, a lot of stuff is going to happen in this chapter (and the next few chapters!), some subtle things that (if I’ve done right) you’ll easily miss, so if you’re not in a time or space where you have capacity to enjoy it, I’m kindly asking you as an earnest author to please come back later so you can savour it to the fullest^^ I hope this isn’t arrogant or condescending of me, because that isn’t my intention at all! (Hopefully) happy reading xx

**Playlist for Agent Oblivion:** [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/36dPKrsWLTkTlHGs2ceoQv?si=6IsEDtSRQTyKyue2A8yO9w)

* * *

_“And together we will build forts from our broken bones_

_And we honor the skeletons we can’t name_

_We face our demons_

_and we learn how they’re tamed_

_Together we smile brightly in the places where we used to cry_

_we take back the narrative._

_And we make peace with the dreams that had to die_

_So that this reality can live_

_-And it may not be the reality we chose_

_But it’s the one we got_

_So together, we take small steps to get better._

_And maybe somewhere along the way, we find meaning_

_And maybe somewhere along the way, we find healing.”_

_SS 22/9/20 copy right reserved_

* * *

Goku is dreaming.

_The strange pull of moonlight. Losing awareness of his body. Grandpa Gohan’s frail frame, broken in so many pieces Goku’s child brain can’t process what he’s seeing._

_Numb it down. Throw it out._

_Gohan at four, wide terrified eyes, screaming while Raditz clutches his neck. Raditz with a hole in his midsection, the lost brother Goku condemns even as he gives chances to many others. Family is the one you can be cruel to, the one you hurt the most, right? But this is one he will never get the chance to know._

_Chichi’s tearful face, brushing Goku’s blond locks out of his eyes as she bids him goodbye before Cell. Little do they know it would be more eternal than any of them would ever consider, a goodbye that lasts even after death._

_His friends’ dismay as Goku chooses to stay in the realm of the dead, chooses the unexpected road. Goku’s own quiet relief: whatever they think, he thinks, he hopes, maybe this way, Earth will be safe._

_Seeing Goten’s curious, mistrustful little face, so like his own, peeking from behind his mother. Oh, what did Goku miss? All the lost years._

_...Gohan’s ... so tall now. His adoring eyes no longer look up at his dad, in both senses of the word._

_Vegeta’s crackling, malicious aura, teal eyes bright with what Goku thought was anger but now recognises as seven years of confusion and grief._

_That feeling on the lookout, when he clasps his hand around these people he loves, left behind, and found again._

* * *

_For a moment, in a haze, Goku dreams that it is Vegeta, that Vegeta is there._

Someone catches him, just in time to pull him out from his freefall. 

“Kakarot.” It is said softly, so unlike the only person Goku allows to call him that. 

_Vegeta._ Gloved fingers graze his cheek, and Goku turns his face into the touch, yearning for more. “‘Geta…” he breathes out. _Can’t be..._

A soothing hush. “I’m right here, Kakarot.”

Goku frowns, even as he presses his cheek into that gloved touch. If this is a dream, he would still make the most of it. “Right where?” he mumbles, petulant. “You’ve been gone for so long…”

It must be Vegeta, it can be no one but Vegeta, because even in his dreamscape here the prince scoffs. “You’ve been gone for even longer, clown.” Yet his tone is gentler than Goku’s ever heard it. 

Even if this is another dream, for just a second, Goku wanted to just bask in it for a while. Just for a while… “Why did you leave?” Goku asks hazily, sad.

“...I had to.”

“Why? They miss you. Bulma, Trunks.” Goku’s breath catches, the hot burn of something rising in his throat. “I did, too.”

Vegeta, or whoever this dream-Vegeta is is silent. Goku wishes the prince would speak, because he knows he will wake up soon, knows he won’t be able to hear that gruff voice anymore. It makes him sad.

“Vegeta?” A pleading tone. Around Vegeta, Goku can afford to be vulnerable. This is how they feed off each other’s strength, the comfort they find. “Will you be there when I wake up?”

Hesitation. A little tug. “Will you? Promise?”

“Yes, Kakarot. I’ll be there.”

* * *

Of course, a dream is just that: a dream. When Goku wakes, grief and longing hit his heart all over again, because Vegeta... isn’t there.

It isn’t the sharp, narrowed gaze and loose haughty smile of Vegeta that greets him, but the cool crimson mask of Agent V. 

“Son Goku.” The armored agent’s distorted voice greets him. Goku wonders what his real voice sounds like. Wishes it is Vegeta’s gruff voice he’s hearing. “Are you alright?”

Goku blinks up at Agent V, quietly sad. Still in that space between dreams and awakening, he wishes it is Vegeta he sees, Vegeta whose steady arms supporting him upright belong to. 

Agent V seems to take his subduedness as a sign that something is wrong. “Do you have any debilitating injuries?” 

Goku stays quiet, letting his eyes fall closed again. For a moment, disappointment threatens to overwhelm him, making it hard to breathe. 

“Son Goku, ” Agent V prompted, a note of urgency and even irritation, in that tone. Even as he knows Agent V is merely expressing concern, Goku feels a rush of irritation in return, which surprises even himself. 

“N-no.” Goku finally replies. But he’s surprised to realize his voice is hoarse and too low, like he hasn’t used it for a while, and his throat is raw, like he’s been screaming. The earth-raised saiyan coughs in an automatic response to clear it, like it would help matters at all. “No,” he manages in a stronger voice, “ ‘m fine.”

Reluctant, Goku finally fully opens his eyes. While the crimson visor doesn’t change, he hears the stranger inside the suit exhale. He’s muttering something Goku can’t quite catch: “I’d appreciate a faster reply next time, Ka-Goku.”

Goku instantly goes from sleepy to high alert. “What did you just call me?”

Is he imagining it, or did Agent V tense up? “I am uncertain as to what you mean.”

Goku squints suspiciously. 

He could have sworn he heard….

Then again, after all those vivid dreams, Goku isn’t quite sure what’s real anymore. Maybe he imagined it, through all his wishful thinking. 

“N-Never mind, maybe I hit my head too hard…” the earth-raised saiyan murmurs, as he tries to sit up. Deep weariness from shaking off the sleep gnaws at him, exacerbated by deep longing.

Agent V stays silent. The armor obviously doesn’t change or indicate any form of expression, but Goku has the odd impression that the agent is scrutinizing him. 

Then… there is the strangest sensation of something, like a feather light touch against his mind. Goku startles. Mentally he tries to grasp at it, but it flicks away, so subtly that he wonders if he imagined it.

Goku can let many things go, but not this. “Are you telepathic?” Goku asks Agent V, more sharply than he intended.

Agent V tilts his head in what is apparently the universal language for ‘huh’? There is a moment of pause before he replies, caution in every word. “It is an ability my kind has, yes.”

Apparently that is a sufficient enough response and all Agent V is going to say in the matter. Goku frowns, weirdly irritated. _Don’t talk much, huh._

Even as he thinks it he feels guilty, knowing he isn’t being fair. It’s the disorientation, and the strange feeling of… regret, the same kind of feeling Goku has when meeting a strong new fighter and never getting the chance to test himself against them. 

Like he’d been so close to reaching something and been denied from doing so.

Maybe it is the dream Goku had about Vegeta that’s throwing him out of sorts like this. Yeah. That must be it.

Goku shakes his head, as if the physical act will help the mental one. “What happened? Where are we?” 

“The Demon Dimension.” Agent V replies. Goku should probably be more alarmed, but then he’s woken up in all sorts of strange places, this one hardly counts. The very matter-of-fact, brusque manner that tells Goku he’s probably experienced a lot of crazy stuff in his life. “Your ki disappeared. I learnt Fu took you away. So I followed you here.”

Hm. Goku attempts to get up; Agent V’s metal fingers leave his back, but hover as if ready to catch him. “How’d you do that?” Goku asks curiously, finally getting his head right. 

“I am uncertain which part of the statement you’re asking about,” Agent V says, in what is almost a wry tone if not for his androgynous voice. Goku wonders what his real voice sounds like.

“How’d you open the portal? Or know where to find me?”

Agent V pauses, clearly debating what to tell him. “I have my ways,” is the cryptic reply.  
  
This evasiveness is getting old, and Goku really isn’t in the mood to play games anymore. “Okay, fine,” he huffs.

There is an aborted movement from agent; Goku’s not sure but he thinks Agent V must have expected to be pestered for the answer. Ha, Goku isn’t going to give him the satisfaction. 

He tries to sense Piccolo or Krillin’s ki, but as he somewhat expects, he can’t. Perhaps because they’re in a completely different dimension entirely. Goku has heard of the possibility of travelling between dimensions before back on Yardrat, but it is not something he’d felt the need for using until now. 

“So, how do we get out of here?” the earth-raised saiyan asks expectantly, looking around at the amorphous dark blobs around them.

“I have no idea.”

Silence. Goku blinks. “You… don’t?”

“No, I was … otherwise occupied.” 

“So, you came in here to get me, without a plan for getting us out?” Goku asks slowly, wondering if he is missing something. 

“...Yes.” Agent V answers simply, but his tone is almost flustered. Kami, it’s incredibly frustrating that the crimson visor reveals nothing, because right then Goku really wishes he could see the cool Agent V’s expression.

“Uh...Do… all your plans usually go like this?” Goku asks, lightly teasing as he starts to return to good humour. There’s something almost funny about who he thought to be so level-headed going in with all guns blazing and no actual plan involved. 

“Got something to say about it?” Agent V challenges, and that makes Goku grin, already past his initial annoyance with the agent. 

“Well, it’s not really the best plan is it?” Goku’s trying not to laugh as he stands up. He’s trying not to make it sound like a _What were you thinking_ question, but it is essentially that, a _What were you thinking_ question. “Now we’re both stuck here…?” Not that Goku is complaining. For him, half the battle is usually in committing. After that things tended to sort themselves out. Vegeta has always been the strategist between them. And yet even then when the prince loses his head, he could be even more reckless than Goku.

(Why do his thoughts keep straying back to Vegeta? It’s so weird. Stupid dream.)

“As if you have a leg to stand on, Son Goku.” That is definitely disgruntlement and defensiveness in that robotic tone now. Clearly Agent V has a prickly side. Goku grins - the agent promises to be fun to rile up. “Your track record suggests to me that your plans tend to operate by, shall we say, flying by the seat of your pants.”

It’s weird that Agent V knows some Earthling turn of phrases better than Goku does, but then he’s never paid much attention to linguistics. Well, fair enough. The earth-raised saiyan laughs, finally feeling a bit of lightness at this familiar banter. It isn’t with who he’s used to,isn’t with who he prefers, but it’s something. Agent V’s cool facade is starting to chip, at least. 

Okay, but. “We need to figure out how to get out, then, cos I don’t really want to stay here.” Goku isn’t keen on being stuck in an alternate dimension with nothing but black gormless shapes to stare at, even if his sense of time and space is loose at best, and he’s got no real attachments anywhere. Sparring with Agent V until they figure out how to get out could help with the boredom, but where would he find something to eat in between? 

Does Agent V eat anyway? Could they even get hungry here?

“...” Agent V is clearly thinking of escape as well, though probably not in the same tangent as Goku’s thoughts just did. 

“Okay, Agent V,” that one syllable as a name is never going to not get weird, “you don’t have to tell me how you got here… but it could help us figure out how to get out, ya know?”

“...I opened a portal to this dimension,” the agent says almost reluctantly. Wow, Goku’s got to learn that one, because Instant Transmission’s failed him here. 

“Well, if you can open a portal here, you can open a portal out?” the earth-raised saiyan suggests hopefully.

“It’s not that simple. I told you, I followed you here. I have no reference point to get us back.”

 _Reference point?_ Goku frowns. Feels like he’s been doing that a lot recently. Something in those words nag at him, even as his battle-geared mind runs through the implications. 

Goku’s not interested in scientific theories and technical things bore him to near tears, but battle theory has always been something he finds easy to grasp, and moreso, actually **_fun_ ** to think about. 

Every travel and space manipulation requires something to lock on to as an anchor, a reference point. In Instant Teleportation, this is ki. In travel between dimensions, how would Agent V have done it? He used Goku as a reference, but not by ki?

“Wow, how’d you manage to make me your reference point?” Goku asks finally. It seems like his question takes the agent by surprise, given how Agent V jerks in response.

“I can’t tell you for certain.” 

Well, all that thinking for nothing, but Goku can’t say he didn’t expect that. “Secretive, aren’t cha?” he half-jokes. Not like he isn’t used to _people_ like that, like a certain prince - well, wasn’t. Past tense. “Don’t trust people much.”

“Trusting people has brought me more grief than good, Son Goku.”

Goku’s good humor abruptly fades. Somehow, because of who is in his mind right then, that statement hits too close to home, so instead of taking it lightly, he listens. “I’m sorry,” Goku says sympathetically. His tone must trigger something in Agent V, because the agent takes pity on him, for once.

“Don’t be. It is merely a statement and my judgment.” A pause. “I am glad your life circumstances allowed you to feel and think differently.”

“Were you hurt?” Goku can’t help but ask. Somehow, in this gloomy environment, where your darkness is laid bare and your regrets brought to fore, it doesn’t feel like the too-personal question it probably is. “Or did you lose people?”

Agent V is quiet for a moment. “In a manner of speaking,” he says at last. “I made a lot of mistakes, Son Goku.”

“So?” Goku matches Agent V’s seriousness.“I’m sure you’ve done a lot of good too! You’re just too hard on yourself. You remind me of a friend of mine, you know?” Goku lets some fondness slip into his tone. “Well, I say friend- we almost killed each other the first time we met, haha, but that was then.” 

Goku laughs in affection, he can imagine Vegeta spitting and turning red at his next words. “I think of him as a close friend now. He’s such a… proud, arrogant person, but I can tell he’s… lost, inside, and he doesn’t like himself. He’s always acting like he’s this really bad person... and yeah, he can be really mean sometimes, but really, he isn’t. None of us are.”

Agent V’s voice sounds strange when he next speaks, perhaps due to the distorted thing. “Maybe your friend has done bad things you don’t know about, Son Goku. Things that you would be horrified to know.”

“Mm, maybe. I’d like to think I know him pretty well by now. We have this… connection?” Goku smiles sadly, thinking of their unexplored fusion link, all the wasted potential.. _._ “But my point is, just because we’ve done bad things doesn’t mean we’re bad people, and we can always be better.”

“Even so,” Agent V says, in a way that makes Goku feel like he’s being disagreed with, “some bad things cannot be erased or forgiven.”

Goku knows he should have probably left it there, but he can’t let that go. Somehow, something in him won’t allow him to. “I don’t think that’s true,” Goku says. It feels important to say this. “When you found me just now… I was… dreaming. Only it wasn’t a dream, it was me looking back at a warped version of everything and everyone I’ve met. All the decisions I made. And… it made me realise… I’m not a good person, you know.”

“What?” The robotic voice somehow managed to sound incredulous.

“I always thought of myself as one, but well, I guess… I can actually be pretty selfish,” Goku says. He’s not putting himself down, he’s just stating a fact. 

“And I realise… well, I’ve disappointed people. I’ve done things that I thought are right but actually wrong. I’ve done things that I know are wrong; selfish things, but I did them anyway, because I wanted to. I’ve hurt people because of my choices, people I really care about, things I can’t ever make right.” He thinks of Chichi’s hurt face, love let go over seven years; unintentionally missing his sons’ formative growth, sidelining his friends for the next big adventure, as if they are less important… maybe, even driving Vegeta away…

But then… as much pain as he’d brought himself and them… all of those things had to happen to lead to this point. Would Goku have done differently, if he is being honest?

“It seems normal to just… hate who you used to be for not knowing enough, but well, of course a younger version of you doesn’t know what you know now, so won’t be able to choose the things you’d choose now.” Goku looks back at Agent V. “I don’t know what you’ve been through and what you’ve done. But I can tell you that I really believe - no matter how small or big the mistake is, you can always start over, you can always make the next choice better.” 

A momentary silence follows. “Do you give many speeches, Son Goku?” Agent V sounds amused. “This one feels very practiced.”

“Ah, sorry,” Goku laughs, suddenly feeling self-conscious as he rubs the back of his neck. “Anyway, I told you just call me Goku,” he says to Agent V playfully. “Anyone ever told you you’re really stubborn, V?”

“Well yes, actually. I’m assuming you want the list of names in order of importance, rather than chronological or alphabetical _.”_

That sarcasm and this banter is both familiar and welcome, even if not from the person he is thinking of. Goku opens his mouth to respond, but that’s when they both feel it.

The achingly-familiar, corrupted ki that is impossible to ignore assaulting their senses. In the same moment, other-Vegeta in all his bangs and tail glory materialises before them. 

Goku tenses, but before he can get a word in, Agent V launches a ki blast, large and deadly enough to be a one-hit kill.

“Agent V, No!” Goku shouts, but other-Vegeta easily flicks Agent V’s blast and backhands it to one side, where it fades harmlessly. 

Goku is stunned by the careless display of power, and it seems Agent V is too because he pauses, but only for a brief moment. He switches tactics and launches into a full-frontal, body assault instead of ki charged blasts, but from this side Goku can see that it’s barely landing.

Agent V is no deadbeat, graceful power and ruthlessness in every strike, but the strength gap between the two fighters is painfully clear. Whatever form other-Vegeta is utilising, it greatly enhances his speed, strength and agility. Goku has to make an effort to shush the saiyan part of his blood that is roaring in rising excitement at other-Vegeta’s apparent strength. Like the first time they faced off in those plains, all those years ago… 

‘ _Here’s the strongest, most vicious, most exciting opponent you’ve ever faced…’_

 _Malicious smirk, feral strength, but oh so_ **_exciting_ ** _-_

Not the time, Goku, not the **_time_ **. 

Agent V is going to get killed at this rate. 

Goku instant transmits to the space between them, blocking Agent V’s next hit before it lands on other-Vegeta. Not that other-Vegeta actually needs him to, of course. But the clear shock in those obsidian eyes are worth it, even as on his side Agent V struggles against Goku’s hold. 

“What the hell?!” 

Goku hears outraged exclamations from both of them, but he ignores one in favour of the other, transmitting Agent V and himself a slight distance away.

“ **_What was that?!_ ** ” Agent V spits out. “ **_What_ **do you think you’re-” 

His words die abruptly as Goku grabs his shoulder and pulls him close so that they’re eye-to-eye - er, eye-to-visor. Whatever. Goku takes the agent’s abrupt silence as the rare opportunity it is. “Please don’t attack him straightaway,” Goku begs. “Just hold back for a moment-”

“ **_Why? You can’t trust him!”_ **

“You don’t know that!”

“I know he’s dangerous,” Agent V hisses, “and evil, and he has **_no_ **good intentions!”

“No!” Goku insists. “Can’t you feel his ki? It isn’t malicious...”

Because it isn’t. It’s the first thing Goku noticed, just now - Other-Vegeta’s ki still has that corrupted taint that tells Goku it isn’t _his_ Vegeta, that he’s not in full control, but it is no longer malignant. At most, there is a feel of guardedness that reminds Goku of a wary wildcat.

Also, more logically, there is the fact that other-Vegeta is merely watching the two of them right then, allowing them to converse instead of making a move to attack further.

“You can’t save him, quit trying!”

“Just let me talk to him for a moment, _please_ ,” Goku lets go of Agent V’s shoulder and clasps his palms in a plea. He throws in his best pleading eyes for good measure. It always works on his friends when he needs it to, even the sterner ones like Piccolo and Vegeta -maybe Agent V will fall too.

He wants to cheer when Agent V exhales. “Suit yourself,” Agent V growls, shoulders coming up as if ready for a fight, but doing nothing further. 

The joy is short-lived as other-Vegeta suddenly phases in front of them both, taking advantage of Agent V’s lowered guard to drive a vicious elbow onto the back of the agent’s neck. The force of it would have decapitated any one of Goku’s human friends, but Agent V miraculously merely slumps over. 

“V-!” Goku catches the agent right before he hits the ground, clearly unconscious. Feeling a surge of protectiveness he can’t explain, he powers up to gold and glares up at other-Vegeta. “That wasn’t necessary!” 

“You’re lucky I didn’t just decide to kill him, Kakarot,” other-Vegeta answers coolly, without even a flicker of remorse. “He’s clearly ready to be hostile and not willing to talk, so I just put him out of commission.”

Goku’s retort - _you’re hostile too!_ \- dies on his tongue. Much as he hates to admit it, other-Vegeta’s right. Or rather, was acting exactly like the Vegeta Goku knew from **_before_ ** all their years together wouldn’t have hesitated to murder anyone actively opposing his desires. Considering that, other-Vegeta’s actions in merely knocking out Agent V so they could have a proper discussion is almost… logical. Merciful, even. 

He’d been right about one thing, at least- other-Vegeta doesn’t have bad intentions, at least not right then. The earth-raised saiyan lets his hair fade back to black. 

“You’re just as impossible as I remember,” Goku mutters, carefully shifting Agent V’s prone form to hold him more comfortably. He should probably be more guarded, but years of fighting together means Goku feels safe around Vegeta even if it’s a different version than he knows. “Where’s Fu?” he asks, at least wary enough to be cautious about this.

“Probably gallivanting off some other timeline to hunt for another fighter,” Other-Vegeta answers vaguely. Goku opens his mouth, but the alternate prince answers his question before he even gets the words out. “Fu’s finished with yours- it’ll either self destruct or the darkness will destroy it, whichever comes first.”

Goku feels a surge of desperation. “Why is Fu doing this?” Because he still doesn’t get it, but then Goku doesn’t get bad guys in general - he just enjoys a good fight, everyone could have a good time and get stronger together if they all got along...

“I don’t actually know, or care,” other-Vegeta replies, careless in a way that makes Goku’s heart twinge. “If you don’t care, then **_why_ ** are you working for him? Do you think this is right?”

“Right and wrong are only concepts, social constructs I have no use for,” other-Vegeta states factually. “Which side you’re on doesn’t matter if you’re too dead to care.”

Goku frowns. “You know Fu’s controlling you to do his wishes, right?” Like Vegeta had been controlled, or let himself be controlled, by Babidi… 

Surprisingly, this other-Vegeta hesitates. “I… recently became aware. Because of you.”

Goku lets that sink in for a moment. No wonder he felt something different in the ki ...

“... Is that why you’re not attacking us now?” He questions.

“I did just knock out your ally, Kakarot,” other-Vegeta reminds him wryly. 

“But you don’t believe in Fu anymore,” Goku insists. Typical Vegeta bluff, to distract by pointing out his worse qualities like he’s so evil. Good thing Goku’s more than ready for it. “Right?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” other-Vegeta growls, but there is an uncertain look in his eyes. 

Goku waits, still clutching at Agent V’s unresponsive form. From his experience with his own Vegeta, he knows enough that silence can do more to get Vegeta to speak than prompting or leading questions ever could.

True enough, Other-Vegeta unravels enough to continue: “When Fu is far away, I can think more clearly… and there’s… so much empty space, things I can’t recall or remember.” He hesitates. “I am aware that he likely has had hold over my mental faculties.”

“So why are you still working with him?” Goku asks. He would hate being controlled against his will, he’s sure it’s a saiyan pride thing, surely Vegeta is the same.

“My life force is bound to his- if he dies, I die. It’s enough reason.”

Realisation, and with it, dismay. “That’s awful, “ Goku whispers. “Vegeta…”

Other-Vegeta’s tail lashes once, clearly uncomfortable with the show of empathy. “Enough!” He commands, as authoritative and arrogant as Goku remembers him to be. “I have questions for you, Kakarot, and **_you will answer them_ **.”

Goku rubs the back of his neck with one hand. “Uh, sure… you could have just asked nicely, you know…”

Other-Vegeta scowls, but with the shock of bangs covering his forehead, it isn’t as effective as it should be. It looks more like an angry cinnamon roll than anything else. A lethal cinnamon roll, but still one nonetheless. And Goku likes cinnamon rolls. “You’re not in any position to be smart with me, _Kakarot_.” he spits out. “You should be grovelling at my feet, begging for my assistance.”

“Nah, I know you like a challenge.” Goku says almost dismissively. If he knows anything about Vegeta, it’s that the prince would pick a fight with him any day over deference, whatever he verbally claims. “So… what’s this about?”

A glare, but other-Vegeta gets to the point. “While you were dreaming, I was able to access your memories.”

It’s Goku’s turn to frown. He’s a little bothered by the invasion of privacy, but there’s nothing to be said for it, so he addresses what he can. “Okay…?”

Now he knows what a lethal cinnamon roll looks like when it sneers. “I saw it all. Your family, half-breed children…play-fighting in tournaments… You’ve lived a soft life, Kakarot.”

“Yeah.. my Vegeta used to say that to me as well.” Goku’s smiling fondly at the memory again, he can’t help it. Hopefully the other-Vegeta wouldn’t see it as mockery. 

“Yes, my other self.” Hesitation, something Goku can’t read in those eyes. “You seem very familiar with him.” A glare.

Goku looks back without fear. “Does that bother you?” he challenges. 

Other-Vegeta’s eyes narrow. “I will do the asking here,” he says sharply. Goku indulges him by miming to zipper his mouth shut, then belatedly wondering if other-Vegeta even understands the gesture.

Whether he understands it or not, other-Vegeta just ignores Goku’s antics completely. “Tell me about him. Why did he join you? Why did he stay on Earth?”

“We’ve been through a lot together. I care about him a lot.”

“You were enemies!”

“At _first_ ,” Goku emphasizes. “Now, I’d trust him with my life.”

“We are technically the same person but completely different in outcome. I don’t understand,” other-Vegeta enunciates, “how he came to stay on your veritable little mudball of a planet. How could I have gone from wanting to destroy your planet and kill you…”

“To saving it and me?” Goku finishes, as understanding begins to dawn upon him. “You’re wondering how you came to be on the good guys side.” 

Other-Vegeta doesn’t verify, but Goku knows he’s got it right. 

Confusion. Doubt. That’s the emotion Goku can’t place.

Time to be softer. Goku smiles gently. “I know you’re going to scoff at me because the other you did too… but Vegeta, you’re a good person. You really are. I think you just needed someone to give you a chance.”

“More than **_a_ ** chance, from what I saw of your memories.” There is dryness in that tone. “Other me tried to kill you fairly recently.” 

Memories of the time Vegeta turned Majin seem to swirl around them, voices whispering.

_I will not live my life as your second!_

_Vegeta, did you allow Babidi to control you on purpose?!_

_I needed Babidi to set me free, by releasing the evil in my heart! He has freed me of these petty attachments, and I have to say it feels pretty good._

And yet, he reverted to those petty attachments in the end. Goku laughs fondly. “Yeah, and yet I’m still here,” he jokes. “Vegeta’s been threatening to kill me for years now, I don’t think he’s too good with timelines.” 

Other-Vegeta’s expression is basically a shout of what, clearly one that questions Goku’s sanity, but he doesn’t verbally state it, so Goku doesn’t respond to it. “I stalked the woman and the child, you know.” 

_Woman and…?_ “Bulma and Trunks?” Goku feels a flash of alarm and narrows his eyes. “...You didn’t hurt them, did you?” Because that is where Goku would draw the line.

“I had every intention to,” other-Vegeta says, tone cold. “They made the other me weak, soft-hearted.” Goku expects to see the cruel, remorseless glint that characterises early-Vegeta’s eyes, so he is surprised to see the other looking more… lost, than anything else. “And yet…” 

“You couldn’t do it, could you?” Goku guesses. “I knew it. See, Vegeta, I told you, you’re not as evil as you think.”

The scowl deepens. “They made the other me weak, soft-hearted," other-Vegeta repeats.

 _Aww man_. Goku knows he should be feeling some form of sympathy, but he can’t help his exasperation. He’d already had to deal with this from one Vegeta, that was more than enough for one lifetime - or technically, his three. “If you saw my memories, you’d know how that argument ended up…” he whined. 

“Shut up.” other-Vegeta snaps. “Yes, I sa-”

The form in Goku’s arm stirs then. A blink, and very suddenly Goku finds a ki charged metal gauntlet right in his face, a very angry, very disoriented but upright Agent V at the helm of it.

“Agent V, calm down,” Goku says, as soothingly as he can. “It’s just me.”

“Well, him alongside a lethal entity of questionable intentions behind you,” other-Vegeta adds, “but feel free to ignore me.”

Goku probably shouldn’t, but he laughs. A laugh that quickly gets cut short as Agent V spins around and attempts to blast other-Vegeta in the face instead.

“V, no,” Goku’s there, tugging at the agent’s arm, still speaking as soothingly as he would a spooked animal. More and more the cool facade that the agent's put on in their first meeting is being chipped away, but Goku honestly prefers this, it shows there’s a human underneath that armor. “It’s okay, we’re okay.” He can feel the minute tremors of Agent V’s arm.

“It is NOT okay! You knocked me out when I had my defenses down!” Agent V roars to other-Vegeta, who just raises one eyebrow.

“Stop acting so noble, I know you’d have done the same in the reverse position.” 

“Both of you stop it, please,” Goku says unhappily. Agent V is still breathing hard, but doesn’t resist when Goku manhandles him back some steps. “Agent V, he was under Fu’s control before, he's conscious of it now.”

“Feh. Weakling,” Agent V declares contemptuously, forcing Goku away. “All this power and you’re unable to fight a simple mind trick.

Other-Vegeta’s tail bristles as he snarls, but Goku’s speaking first. “Shut up, Agent V, you have no idea what he’s been through so you don’t get to judge,” Goku snaps.

“ **_I_ **have no idea what he’s been through?” Agent V begins to laugh out loud, not in a kind way. “You’re so fucking clueless.” 

Goku frowns, feeling like he’s missing the joke. It’s the first time he hears the agent swear, and he’s quietly surprised that he’s used an Earth term. “Well, you’re the one who insists on keeping secrets,” he mumbles petulantly. “Stop being so aggressive and just hear me out, okay? We’re… kind of…? On the same side now.”

Agent V’s still laughing, hard enough that it’s bordering on hysteria. Goku’s annoyance starts to morph into concern. “V, you okay…?” 

“I cannot believe this,” Agent V mutters as he calms down, the blast in his palms dissipating. “You actually do make friends with everyone.” 

“Ehehe, it’s for the best, right?”

Agent V ignores Goku. “He may be naive and too trusting, but I’m not. How do I know you’re not just faking this alliance?” The agent asks sharply to other-Vegeta. 

“Finally, someone smart enough to be suspicious, what a relief,” other-Vegeta drawls. “If you must know, I saw this Kakarot’s memories.”

“Please don’t tell me that’s enough for you to go backstab Fu,” Agent V scoffs, “because I’m going to be extremely disappointed. Isn’t strength the only thing that matters? Isn’t everything else _a delusion for the weak?”_

He sounds like he’s quoting something, but … Something pricks at Goku’s mind right then. 

_Where have I heard that line before...?_

For once, Goku makes the conscious decision to take a step back, and just listen to them talk. His instincts are raring… something is here, something he can find if he just… focuses…

Other-Vegeta is glaring. “You don’t understand, do you? What a pitifully small mind.” Yep, that trash-talking is Vegeta, alright. “When I said I saw his memories, I mean that I was immersed in them.”

Agent V hesitates. “Immersed?” he questions suspiciously, instead of focusing on the insult. Goku feels a little note of hope.

“Yes. I was there with him, I felt the things he felt, the things he’d done, the regrets he has. Everything he felt, I felt.”

Goku feels himself growing red. That might be... trouble… 

“...I see.” Agent V either doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care, as hyper-focused as he is on other-Vegeta. 

Agent V and other-Vegeta make a strange, striking picture. Both armoured, one all bulky metallic with crimson highlights, another sleek saiyan armor with royal blue and gold accent. There is nothing at all alike in their colors, yet at that moment their aura is so similar it almost feels like they are the same person: carrying the fatalistic grimness of seasoned fighters, ruthless in battle and ready to die for their truths. 

“Do you know,” other-Vegeta says conversationally, “while Kakarot slept, Fu ordered me to destroy your world? Leave nothing.” His voice is the epitome of fury and contempt. Agent V’s frame tenses, like Goku had earlier. 

“And I should have done it, I should have razed your godforsaken mudball into the ground, that made everyone on it so _soft and weak_. And yet…”

“You didn’t. You couldn’t.” Agent V finishes. “It’s hard to ignore your humanity once it’s been awakened.” A chuckle. “I should know.”

Goku looks at Agent V sharply, really wishing he could see the agent’s expression right then. Those words are heavy with implication, but why? What does it mean?

Whatever it is that transpired between them, it seems Agent V is finally relaxing, as the hostility and tension bleeds out of the set of his shoulder. “I have a question for you, then,” the agent says coolly, and it’s back to the level-headedness Goku recognizes from their first meeting. “What is the power you’re using? What is that crimson aura?”

Other-Vegeta’s eyes flicker between them, clearly trying to decide if he should divulge that information. Agent V seems to understand this instantly.

“If you’re hoping to build trust, it needs to start with honesty from both parties,” Agent V says, and weirdly, there’s almost a note of amusement in his voice. 

“Hmph. You should be familiar with super saiyan, yes?” 

Goku perks up, instantly interested. “Yeah, we’ve gone as far as Super Saiyan 3!”

Other-Vegeta looks mildly impressed. “Super Saiyan 3? Hmm. This is a level up from it.”

“What, really?” Goku says excitedly. “That’s so cool!

Other-Vegeta eyes Goku and smirks. His tail unravels from his waist, waving in the air lazily- and Goku knows enough to understand it as a sure sign of trust between saiyans. “You would need your tail to achieve this transformation, though, _tailless saiyan_.” 

“O-oh.” Goku’s heart falls. “Well, I can always wish it back…? But no, the dragonballs can’t be used anymore… I guess I can ask Dende to heal it when all of this is over! But..., I’d need to learn how to control the Oozaru…” he muses to himself.

His monologue goes entirely ignored. “In that case, you’re fortunate I decided to join you,” other-Vegeta says snidely. “I could have easily finished both of you without breaking a sweat.”

Goku smirks back, knowing that look recognizing this challenge. “Oh I don’t know about that, I tend to surprise people.”

“Surprise isn’t a trustworthy formula for winning.”

“Well, even if I lose, at least I’d get a thrilling fight!”

He receives an incredulous stare. “Are you always like this in the face of possible enemies and probable death?”

“Yes he is,” Agent V interrupts them both, snorting. “He has no enemies - All his them either end up dead or his allies, there’s no in between.” 

Goku stares, feeling a bit odd at the familiarity in which Agent V says that. Something isn’t adding up, and it feels like if he looked closely, something would tie together. The seed of doubt is growing. Before he can say anything, other-Vegeta interjects, looking mildly impressed. “Sounds like a fail-proof, hassle free strategy for dealing with en-”

The alternate prince’s tail suddenly stiffens, a sharp intake of breath following it. “Fu’s coming back soon- I can feel him,” he grits out. “...You two need to get out of here.” Hesitation, extreme reluctance colours his next words. “I… may not be in full control of my mental faculties, should he return before you leave.”

Thankfully Agent V doesn’t comment or mock him this time, or Goku would be throwing hands. “What would be the point of getting out, if he can just find his way back into our dimension?” 

“You’re right, which is why I’m planning on killing him before that happens,” other-Vegeta says, a little too calmly.

Wait.

“Wait, what?!” Goku’s alarm makes his voice rise. “You told me you’re bound to his life force!”

Other-Vegeta gives Goku a look that speaks volumes of just how much he’s judging Goku’s intelligence right then. It is a look Goku’s dearly, whole-heartedly familiar with, which makes the whole situation even more heart-wrenching. “Well, yes, which would make it even easier. If I die, he should die too.”

“What, so you’re just planning to, I don’t know, stab yourself in the chest or blow yourself up so that Fu dies with you?” Goku asks incredulously. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, I have more honour than that. I will fight him.” Oh, Goku remembers this arrogance. “I am as strong as he is.”

Memories of hearing of Vegeta’s suicide mission against Majin Buu secondhand from Piccolo assaults Goku, and he shudders. _No. I won’t let that happen again_. “I’m not going to let you!”

Other-Vegeta’s eyes narrow. “Don’t you tell me what to do, Kakarot. I am the prince of all saiyans, and as such I am **_your_ ** prince.”

“You can’t be a prince if you’re dead!” Goku snaps. “Tell him, Agent V!”

“If Fu is gone, will everything that is damaging the Earth stop?” the agent asks instead. “Sounds entirely too simplistic.”

“It isn’t a guarantee, but it’s very likely.” other-Vegeta says, clearly approving the lack of emotion. “It’s reasonable to assume that because the darkness originates from Fu, once he dies, the threat will die with him.”

Agent V’s conspicuously quiet. Goku turns wide eyes to him. “Agent V. You can’t- you don’t -”

“It’s a valid solution,” Agent V allows. “I would do the same in his stead.”

What… “Well, I won’t!” Goku snaps, anger rearing. “I’m not going to let you go on a glorified suicide mission, Vegeta!”

He realises he’s said the wrong thing when the smaller saiyan’s ki spikes up suddenly. Vegeta never liked being told what to do. “How dare you -”

“The Prince Vegeta I know would have done everything he could before he resorted to self sacrifice,” Goku challenges. Playing up his pride and title works in his favour, sometimes.

Not this time, it seems. “The Vegeta you know has something to live for,” other-Vegeta says, brutally honest. “My life is meaningless, Kakarot. From one servitude to another, from Frieza to Fu.” A pause. “This way, I can give it some meaningful form of closure.”

“You can come back with us!” Goku pleads. “Start over on Earth!” Agent V makes a sound, but Goku’s pissed at his silence callousness, so he ignores him. “You don’t have to kill yourself to redeem yourself, Vegeta!”

He knows he’s got it right when other-Vegeta flinches minutely. “That’s what this is about right? Self punishment? Retribution? My Vegeta was just the same!” 

Goku’s volume is increasing, but he can’t help it, doesn’t actually want to help it. “Yes you’ve killed many people, yes you’ve done a lot of wrong, but you dying or sacrificing yourself isn’t going to make anyone else less dead! That’s like saying you can’t be better, and I know you Vegeta, I **_know_ ** you can do better! 

For just a moment, the young face of other-Vegeta framed with bangs seem to morph into the sharper, angular profile of his Vegeta, and Goku realizes dimly he is projecting, but he can’t stop. “They’re gone, it’s over, we’re what’s left and we have to do the best with what we have- and you’re going to do so much more good alive than dead, Vegeta!”

He’s breathing hard at the end. Other-Vegeta waits for a moment, and in the gentlest tone Goku’s ever heard from that rough voice, he asks, “Are you finished, Kakarot?”

A beat of silence as they gaze at each other, Goku and Vegeta, two titans of the same blood, but of completely different worlds.

“... you’re not going to change your mind, are you?” Goku asks sadly, the high of emotion bringing him down to a crashing low.

_Why can I never save you?_

“No. In this case, me dying means Fu dies, and it will prevent a lot of people from being dead. An ideal solution all round, to me,” Other-Vegeta states matter of factly.

“My final question, then. How do you propose to do that when you just admitted you may struggle under Fu’s influence?” Agent V asks practically.

“I am the mighty Prince Vegeta, am I not?” There’s the trace of the haughtiness Goku remembers, but right then all it gives him is a pang of **_missing_ ** Vegeta. “Now that I’m aware of what’s happening, fighting against his control should be no challenge.”

“I see. In that case, yes, this is possibly… an ideal solution.”

Goku glares at Agent V half in horror, half in outrage, as he realizes that the agent is seriously considering the merits of the idea. “You can’t think this is okay!”

“Not every one of us value life the way you do, Son Goku,” Agent V says, his monotone voice making the statement even more cold. “I understand his line of reasoning. I would do the same if I were him. From our side, we are rid of two big threats, and the negative energy that is damaging the Earth. From his side, he gains some autonomy. He cannot undo what has been done…”

“...but I will stop it from continuing, or happening to someone else.” Other-Vegeta finishes. The shadow of a smirk graces his features. “And get revenge on the person who has enslaved me at the same time. I won’t deny there isn’t the element of vengeance involved.”

“I would have been disappointed if there isn’t.” Agent V chuckles darkly. 

Goku looks between them, disturbed at the similarity in the way they think, and still **_very much against the idea._ **

Other-Vegeta takes pity on him. “You’ve given yourself up for Earth before, Kakarot. You are a saiyan, you know to die in battle is far from the least ideal way to go,” he says gruffly. “You’ve walked your path, you did what needed to be done. Let me walk mine.”

A moment of silence. 

That, Goku could understand. 

“I’ll miss you,” Goku whispers.

“You’ve barely known me for a few hours, Kakarot,” other-Vegeta chides, but there is no meanness in his tone, and there’s a strange look in his eyes.

It feels like saying goodbye.

“You know what I mean,” Goku says. 

“I guess I do.” The moment passes, and Other-Vegeta turns serious again. “You both need to go, now. How did you even get in this dimension?” He addresses Agent V. “To get in, you would have needed some form of connection. Are you descended from a demon?” 

Goku half expects Agent V to be evasive as he is with Goku, but he isn’t. “No, I have had the Majin mark,” Agent V responds, oblivious to Goku’s shock. 

“Ah. Dabura’s mark, yes? No wonder you are able to access this dimension at will.”

Wait. 

Majin mark. 

Their similarity in thinking. 

The callousness of Agent V at other-Vegeta’s suicide mission.

Goku’s still working on his thoughts, but right at that moment, an actual malignant ki assault his senses. 

In the next second, Fu the demon descendant materialises before them, telltale purple aura crackling.

Everything that happens in the next few breaths is almost too fast for Goku to follow.

 _One._ Fu’s first move is to send a direct hit towards Goku. As distracted as his thoughts are, the earth saiyan realizes this would be some serious damage.

 _Two._ Agent V makes an agonized sound.

 _Three._ Other-Vegeta flashes in front of them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to chat at me or ask away in tumblr, I'm Stardust-steel there, or Stardust_steel in Instagram :3
> 
> Up next: Chapter 7  
> Hurt and anger makes Goku cruel. “Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” he snaps, feeling vindictive as the obsidian eyes flicker in pain.
> 
> The part when Goku's "dreaming" about Vegeta cradling him is a nod to that part in Dragon Ball Super when Vegeta catches Goku bridal style before he slams into the ground. You can message me if you want the link to watch it, because I can't paste it here somehow :3
> 
> 1\. A little story: I was losing confidence in this fic and ready to scrap it, actually bin it. Then some people, in this instance specifically Eeva-chan left me chapter by chapter reviews of their impressions which made me remember again that it may not be perfect, but it is a story I want to see the end of. So reviews do help kick an author back to gear or reassure them that this isn't crap they're putting out. If you have time, I’d appreciate you letting me know your thoughts? Thank you for reading ^^
> 
> 2\. I hope the exposition is believable. I counter analysed all the dialogue several times and ran it through someone who is disengaged from the story just to ensure it didn’t move too fast/ unbelievably.  
> Thanks to people who supported me through my doubts : Agent Scribz, evilkitten3, Trista, Baby Buu, Dulcinea and thewingedlady esp who very valiantly helped me push when i was ready to just give up the whole thing :<  
> I hope this will live up to your expectations so years down the road, you'll have a great story to return to even after I'm gone ><  
> There are things I would change, but well, I can’t do anything about it now, it’s begun. If there are lessons to learn along the way, I’ll learn it.


	7. The Heart Of A Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” Goku snaps, hurt and anger making him cruel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you begin to read I just want to say Sorry for the cliffhangers, beloved readers and fellow writers >< I feel really guilty about them :< I personally don’t think it’s a good plot device to use excessively, and they’re not my favored way of telling a story :( My justification is it’s just that when I go over the first draft, I decide where to chop it based on where (I feel) I won’t emotionally overload/overwhelm my readers in the chapter. And this chapter is definitely THE hell of a load, followed almost directly by the next one. 
> 
> Thank you to Engineerd for beta reading, and to TheRisingWing being patient with me even as I kept editing stuff out last minute XD If you haven't, please check out Engineerd's fic Guiltless - it sets the standard for high quality DB fanfics for me. Special thanks to various lovely people who encouraged me and/or answered my hypothetical questions i.e. Agent_38_Scribz for their utter passion and brilliance, eeva_fanwriter, Baby Buu, Felix, Tris, Dulcinea, Nahobito, Marz, and many others who have been so kind.
> 
> I hope you’re satisfied with what it will come to, full circle, I apologise for any shortcomingsin my writing and hope you'll enjoy comes next in this journey. I'm so scared for the upcoming chapters and this one, honestly, but I've given all I can give. ^^

**Instrumental playlist for Agent Oblivion:[Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/36dPKrsWLTkTlHGs2ceoQv?si=vEkNB9wzTEy2PCNgqSIoIA)**

* * *

_"Lost forever to the memory of time..._

_All that we were, survives now... only in you.”_

_-Vegeta to Goku, (first) death on Namek (1)_

**< Vegeta flashback to Chapter 5>**

_In the distance, Kakarot’s ki drops..._

_and disappears._

_Piccolo, Dende and Merus sense it too by the different ways they all tense, but for Vegeta it’s as though all the color and sounds of the world bleed out to one muted shade and tone._

_He can’t feel Kakarot’s ki._

_He can’t feel Kakarot’s ki._

It should be ironic, considering that Vegeta’s been tracking this idiot’s ki from the moment he learnt to sense ki. It’s certainly alarming.

Usually a subtle but comforting presence on his senses, like the warm rays of the sun on a midsummer day. Amplified by their post-fusion mental link, unexplored as it is. Even in the cold of the Galactic Patrol’s ship. Across the distance of space between them, some days Vegeta had felt Kakarot tug at the link, reaching for him through that link. Even as he shut it down and turned away, that sensation of Kakarot’s presence had been a background source of solace, something to focus on on days he needed it. But now it is just- gone. 

Just like those lonely 7 years.

Out of the muted gray of everything, panic is the one emotion that surges forth. “Ka- Goku.” Fuck, as if things weren’t already hilariously uncomfortable. Vegeta doesn’t even know who he’s fooling in this clearing, so he’s not going to even try. “Where is he?” the former prince demands, as if they have the answers.

“His ki’s disappeared.” Merus says, being incomparably helpful as always. 

Fu’s and other-Vegeta’s ki have disappeared too, but Vegeta’s only real interest is making them very dead, and he will get to that at some point. 

But Kakarot...

“I can sense that myself!” Vegeta is not shouting. He is not. He is just raising his voice; a dignified, conscious decision. 

“Agent V, calm down.” To his utter credit Piccolo doesn’t react at the name slip-up. Vegeta himself would have taken the opportunity and ran a circus with it, had the positions been swapped. “We need you level-headed and logical-”

“You know what’s illogical?” Okay, so maybe Vegeta is shouting now, but it’s merited. “When two unknown entities show up who are fucking strong enough to beat a super saiyan 3 , and you leave your one fighter to face them **all alone** -”

Piccolo looks utterly unimpressed. “Need I point out the hypocrisy in this? Saiyans fight alone, as you’ve always stated.” His tone sharpens. “You had no problems leaving him to face any potential threats alone for the past three years.” 

Ouch. So much for non-confrontational. The burn of Piccolo’s statement and the anger that it instigates ironically manages to snap Vegeta out of it enough to glare at the Namekian. Before he can even say anything, Merus comes to his defense, not that the prince needs it. 

“That is not fair, Piccolo.” Merus says sharply. “And neither is it appropriate right now.”

“My apologies,” Piccolo says flatly, without even a flicker of remorse. “Now that you’re somewhat calmer, let’s use our heads.”

Vegeta… has to admit that the Namekian’s ploy is a clever one. Rather than amorphous rage that has nowhere to go, now his distress is focused like an arrow. 

Because Vegeta **_is_ ** distressed. After 3 years of actively trying to forget, to let go, to bury things under…it seems he still cannot run from the force of Kakarot’s gravity.

 _Kakarot, I’m coming… wait for me._

Seeing Kakarot again has reminded him that some things aren’t meant to be forgotten. And like hell he is going to let Kakarot be taken away so easily.

 _“_ Kakarot isn’t dead. I know he isn’t.”

“You sound just like Goku’s been the past three years,” Piccolo says, voice wry even in his grimness. Vegeta glares. “How does it feel to be on the other side?”

Merus, reliable as always, tells him what he needs to hear. 

“You can find him without needing to sense his ki, Agent V. “ Purple-silver eyes find crimson visor easily. “I think in your own heart, you know how.”

Vegeta hesitates.

In the end, it is ridiculously easy in practice, but so very difficult in principle. Finally, Vegeta opens the mental link he’s shut away for three years.

He allows himself just to feel Kakarot , everything he used to hate and everything he’s missed, the very things he’s tried to push away to the back of his mind for three years.

Kakarot's easy, warm, idiotic smile. His almost obstinate cheerfulness. That particular quirk of his lips when he's pouting at something Vegeta said. The way his eyes shine with excitement in the face of new conflict, even as everyone else wants to run. How he scratches his neck when nervous. Kakarot's palm extended in friendship towards Vegeta, even as it is rejected, again and again. The constant faith Kakarot has that Vegeta is better than what the prince shows himself to be, faith that's so fierce it's almost a challenge and a dare.

And… there it is. Kakarot -not his ki, just his... essence. His link to Vegeta. Surrounded by darkness, but very much there, like a beacon.

_I've found you._

The Demon Dimension calls. Vegeta’s heart plummets. It’s almost funny to think all this time, he’d thought of himself as not having one, because right then he is very much aware of it. “How… I don’t know how I can get there…”

“Well, that’s convenient,” Merus says wryly. 

“What is?”

In the end, Vegeta learns only demon descendants themselves can open the portal to that dimension. One exception applies: those touched by the mark from a demon. And who else carried the Majin’s mark from all those years ago, but Vegeta?

“Is this one of those times I’m supposed to be dubiously grateful that I did a lot of stupid things?” Vegeta grumbles aloud. “Because I’m not.”He’s never been a big believer of fate or that ‘everything happens for a reason’ bullshit, but it certainly seems to apply here.

“You need to maintain a turbulent-free heart, Agent V,” Merus’ voice is heavy with seriousness. “The Demon Dimension and everything dark that comes from it- its true power is to corrupt, to play upon your biggest fears, your self doubt, your negative emotions. All the darkness within you.”

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Piccolo asks him.

“I’m about to learn very quickly,” Vegeta replies, because if nothing else, his sharp mind and tongue has always been his best weapons.

_\-----_

Vegeta has known darkness. Has walked in it, breathed in it, been born into and revived through it. Darkness holds no fear for him anymore. It is an old friend. Its blankness is comforting, like a blanket on a stormy night. Its emptiness is almost peace, rather than madness.

Vegeta would go to the end of all things…as far as could be gotten, if it means finding Kakarot alive at the other end.

But here at the other end, there is no feeling at all. No temperature, no wind here. Vegeta thinks he could hold his breath forever and not even feel faint.

This is a place of undeath. There is nothing alive, there is…nothing at all. Just the formless dark haze, the winding rocky road.

It had been extremely alarming to find Kakarot’s form suspended in the air, limp like Kakarot has admitted defeat, has given up. Vegeta shudders. For every horror that he’s seen, every atrocious thing he’s committed, that is the one image he would wish on Shenron to banish from his mind. 

When Vegeta had carefully pulled Kakarot out of the dream stasis he had been immersed in, the prince had been truly scared. Faced with Kakarot’s lack of responsiveness, alarm had been enough to make Vegeta slip back to old habits and call Kakarot by his birth name, once a jab, now more a fond nickname between them than anything else.

Vegeta cursed himself. That was a close slip. Thank any Kai listening that Kakarot had been too disoriented to follow up on it. 

The following talk had been too surreal to Vegeta. Knowing that Kakarot missed him, that Kakarot **_valued_ **him, that Kakarot thought of him as -

Vegeta could feel himself turning red. Again. If his tail had had freedom of motion instead of being trapped under the armor, no doubt he would have given himself away by the wriggling.

It was too easy, scarily easy to fall back into this rhythm of teasing, playfulness with each other. Comforting, familiar, and Vegeta is scared to realise he might have damned himself, because it would be even harder to walk away when all of this is over.

Everything from the moment of the arrival of his other self is a blur, made worse by the fact that his replica had done a very Vegeta thing and knocked Agent V out. Vegeta would have been pissed beyond belief, but given it is exactly what he himself would have done. Well, there’s a reason he’s an arrogant prickhead.

And then, Fu arrives.

* * *

Goku’s intimately familiar with how a heart attack feels. It’s one of the worst sensations of pain he’s felt in two lifetimes, and considering he’s been in quite a couple of universe-defining battles, that’s saying something. Perhaps because unlike external, battle-induced pain, a heart attack is internal- literally the body betraying itself.

Even so, it can’t compare the pain in Goku’s chest now, as other-Vegeta drops like weightlessness and the only thing Goku is able to do is stand there watching like the most useless, helpless idiot.

It feels like something in Goku’s own chest is shattering. 

“Vegeta!!!”

This is what Chichi must have felt when she learnt he died in the Cell Games. This must be what Gohan and Vegeta felt, those years Goku stayed in death.

This is what heartbreak feels like. 

This is what has slowly been creeping up on him since Vegeta left, so slowly he didn't recognize it, until now all of a sudden-

All the feelings Goku’s been avoiding admitting to himself rush to the surface. His… affection for Vegeta, his quiet yearning for a chance at a different life for them both, a life where they could… experience things together, fight and argue and eat nice things and make memories… All of it consolidates into a ball of emotion that he can find no other name for but love.

Too little, too late.

This is the price he pays for lying to himself, he guesses.

Moving almost without thinking, Goku flashes straight to slam into Fu, sending that hateful form flying backwards. He’s scarcely aware of the electric crackle of the SS2 form as he catches the very damaged, very broken form of the other-Vegeta in his arms. This close, he feels just how much smaller and slimmer the frame is. His Vegeta had more muscle mass... 

It’s cruelly reminiscent of that time he’d watched his Vegeta die on Namek, pouring all his heart to Goku, talking straight through the hole in his chest like the stubborn warrior prince he is. 

Goku had cradled Vegeta then too, burying him in a grave as a small honour to his memory. 

_Frieza... made me what I am… don’t… let him do it to anybody else…_ _I beg you, Kakarot...please beat him... for me. For the pride of our race... Please. He must die by... a Saiyan's... hands..._

Except that time, Vegeta had been a dubious ally, at best. This time…

With everything between them….

Again, Goku is too late to save either. Both.

“I’m sorry,” Goku gasps, “I’m so sorry….”

“Not… fault.” Other-Vegeta's breathing is even more stuttered than Goku's. Goku gently sweeps the broken form’s bangs to one side. His own eyes feel bright- he’s not used to this sensation. 

But other-Vegeta... There is no fear in that gaze, just utter exhaustion, and even a hint of apathy. In mere moments that feel like a lifetime ( _and for one of them, it is_ ) they continue to hold each other’s gaze…

....until Goku dimly becomes aware that those eyes are no longer looking back into his. 

Those eyes stop seeing him. Stop seeing anything at all.

A moment of silence, in which his heart wrenches in a fresh sea of sorrow and grief. Goku bows his head and brings the smaller frame of the lost prince in his arms closer. He touches their foreheads together, grieving for the lost soul he’s holding, all the wasted potential, all the have-beens and could-bes. 

But the universe seems dead set against the last two saiyans uniting. Even as their foreheads touch, the mangled body in Goku’s arms begins to disintegrate, fading into little particles of dust that would soon join the flow of the rest of the universe. 

Goku can’t even find it in himself to ask why. All he knows is - the body in his arms disintegrating-

the gentle pressure of Other Vegeta's body dissolving to nothing- as if to emphasis the moment's finality. 

Even after his hands become empty, Goku remains where he is, his head still bowed.

Agent V is shouting something in the background, but Goku only hears it as white noise. Fu could drive a hole straight through Goku’s own chest right now, it wouldn’t matter, he wouldn’t be able to register any more pain than he’s feeling.

**“- want to die?!”**

Goku doesn’t care, because Vegeta’s dead - whichever version of him it is, he’s gone, Goku just watched him die in his arms-

-and the dragonballs can’t bring him back-

-Vegeta’s _dead_ -

A metal-encased hand grasps his elbow fiercely, vice-like grip enough to bruise. “-up! We need to go!” Agent V roars. 

Goku lets himself be manhandled upward. Agent V swings one arm around him- the poor agent must be supporting all his weight because like hell Goku has the strength in his legs to stand on his own then - “For fuck’s sake **_get up idiot_ ** \- I am **_not letting you just fucking die here_ **-”

 _I don’t care anymore,_ Goku thinks lucidly, because really, he doesn’t, he’s _giving up_ , and then Agent V’s in his face, shouting-

 **_“_ ** **_How dare you - you’re a Saiyan warrior!”_ **

-and then it’s like something in Goku’s mind flicks open - 

He’s being dragged through something like a portal, that familiar sensation of “dropping” in his stomach akin to Instant Teleporting making him feel nauseous-

-and the dark wastelands of the Demon Dimension morph into the murky gray skies of Earth. 

Goku lands gracefully enough, a lifetime of battle-honed reflexes allow him to catch himself under his feet instinctively. The moment they touch solid ground, Agent V lets go of him, wavering for a bit on unsteady legs before falling to his knees. 

“Goku!”

“Goku, you’re safe!”

It’s almost as if Goku’s watching himself from the outside. He hears Krillin’s voice, and Piccolo's, maybe? He’s not sure, because there’s a roaring in his ears and it’s - it’s-

“Hey buddy?” Krillin’s hands are on him, concerned eyes suddenly in his vision. “You okay?”

“Vegeta’s dead,” Goku hears himself say.

Krillin’s face contorts in shock. Goku dully watches as the former monk comes to realise that he must be referring to _other-Vegeta_. Krillin clearly doesn’t know what to do with that information, so he begins to stammer. “Uh- That’s… good?” Something in Goku’s face must show that this is the absolute wrong thing to say, because Krillin grimaces and quickly backtracks. “Or not, sorry- ah - Did, did- one of you finish him off? And Fu-” 

“No!” Agent V snaps, staggering to his feet. “It’s not over yet, Fu’s still alive -“

Somehow, in the throes of grief, Goku’s able to gather enough shards of thought to focus.

His eyes narrow. 

He rockets towards Agent V and shoves the agent back, following it up with the most powerful kamehameha wave he has ever thrown at a presumed ally. There are shouts of shock around him, but Goku ignores it all.

“Goku!”

Agent V catches the first hit easily enough, but struggles against Goku’s follow up strikes. Goku’s lashing out wildly, uncaring of what this looks like to the others, even as he hears Krillin’s bewilderment in the background.

“Goku, what’s going on?!”

The clear callousness at the loss of Other-Vegeta’s life would have been enough to make Goku angry, but then...

“Krillin- no!”

“But Piccolo -”

_The link to Majin, the constant guardedness-_

“Krillin, you don’t want to get involved- Honestly, **_stay out of it-_ **”

_The way Agent V moved earlier against Fu, like someone who is used to craftily working around Instant Transmission -_

_The way they both fought together in eerie synchrony, despite having distinctly different styles…_

“But why?!” 

Every step, every blow, every breath, every strike - Locked in a deadly dance with a partner who holds up defense with a determined grace-

Goku has just enough consideration in him left to push them out of range of the others, but this is the last chance he’s **_ever_ ** going to give-

There is no returning attack in kind. Agent V never breaks from his defensive stance, never swings with any purpose beyond parrying Goku’s aggressive attacks.

_The level-headed first impression, superseded by cracks in the armor and bouts of rage-_

_The lack of self preservation, hard to see but hard to unsee once it’s noticed-_

“What the hell are you doing?!” Agent V snarls, defecting a blue blast. Goku hears it **so clearly** now, he can’t believe he missed it before -“We don’t -” a block, followed by a defensive uppercut- “have time for this-” a two-handed parry - “Son Goku -”

“ **_Stop calling me that!_ **” Goku roars. In a rage-filled burst that would have put even Vegeta to shame, he ascends straight into Super Saiyan 2, putting all its crackling power behind the next hit. It causes Agent V to stagger back and fall to one knee-

-But there is no returning blast. 

Both titans come to a pause, breathing hard. 

“Stop calling me that,” Goku repeats harshly, aura still crackling gold and electric blue. “You asshole. Stop pretending.” 

Agent V’s finding his feet, but at that, he goes still. “What... do you mean?” he asks carefully, and the earth-raised Saiyan’s irritation flares again.

“You tell me,” Goku snaps, “Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” 

The armored man goes silent, as if he is thinking. Goku is aware that hurt and anger is making him cruel, but he’s unable to stop it. Especially because this stubborn asshole in front of him deserves it.

Their staredown stretches on long enough that Goku has to heave an infuriated sigh. “Come **_on_ **, are you really going to make me say it?! You’re braver than that, Vegeta.”

Never for a moment did Goku consider he could be wrong. Had he been wrong, had he made a mistake, Goku didn’t think he would survive -- not out of shame, but a second heartbreak. As it is, in the biggest giveaway ever, Agent V freezes.

Goku could literally see him considering for a minute to deny it. But the younger saiyan is determined he’s not going to let that happen - this time, he’s not going to let Vegeta slip through his fingers again. 

Goku releases his ki, letting his hair fade to black.

At the same time, he reaches into his own mind, the mental connection that has been there since fusion. The connection that Goku tried to access many times over the last three years. The connection that Vegeta _**must**_ have used at some point in the past few days, because it’s so much stronger than it was before. 

Goku floods it with something sweet and desperate, all the affection and yearning that he’s held back over their time apart, the utter grief he feels watching a version of his important beloved rival die in his arms, all the self-blame…

...And Vegeta unwittingly answers him before he is even conscious of doing it. The sensation of palms clasping, ghostly tail twining, foreheads grazing, inhaling each other’s scent.

Goku’s eyes open, anger draining away, leaving exhaustion and a curious feeling that’s like hurt and uncertainty and relief melded into one. He takes a step forward to Agent V, voice strained in a painful, **_painful_ ** tone of hope. “Vegeta…?”

The armored figure doesn’t respond, doesn’t confirm nor deny, but neither does he back away as Goku approaches him. 

On the cusp of this moment, for Goku, it feels like every second is stretched out into hours. 

One calloused hand reaches out, fingertips grazing the side of the visor. Goku’s trembling fingers gently sweep upwards, until his hands catch on something that feels like a clasp. Slowly, gently, Goku removes the last of the crimson metal covering Agent V’s face. The agent stiffens, but ultimately lets him. 

And just like that, Vegeta’s ki, somehow more familiar than Goku’s own heartbeat and even more dear, rose to fill his senses. Untampered by technology, untainted by dark Majin energy, just pure and whole - _Vegeta._

“That’s better,” Goku says softly. 

Relief makes his knees go weak, legs giving out but that’s okay because now they’re at eye level, and Goku is… 

For the first time in three years, he’s looking down into those fathomless dark eyes he’s longed to see. Thought he’d lost.

Something in Gokus’s heart simultaneously breaks and swells at the same time, and he can’t keep from feeling that something in his chest, something that hurts but is a **_good_ ** kind of hurt. 

* * *

“You’re braver than that, Vegeta.”

Thrown like a challenge. Kakarot’s always known exactly how to push Vegeta’s buttons, how to play the prince’s pride just enough so that he does exactly what Kakarot wants him to do. Sneaky bastard.

That’s what Vegeta tells himself, but deep down, he knows that isn’t it at all.

Kakarot’s tone as he utters those words is hurt and angry, but… his **_eyes_ ** . It’s what breaks Vegeta. The younger Saiyan’s dark eyes are laced with fragility and hurt and a painful sort of hope, as if he really wanted this to be it, as if he really can’t take any more disappointment, can’t even face the **_possibility_ ** that he can be wrong. Vegeta’s never seen the carefree, lively Kakarot looking that vulnerable, fragile even, and...

As those eyes bore straight into Vegeta’s own, as if he can see past the armor, Vegeta... gives up.

Vegeta doesn’t stop Kakarot’s approach. Maybe a part of him wants this too. Maybe he’s been stupid all along, even though he would die a third time before ever admitting that to himself. 

Kakarot’s hands gently graze the side of his visor, somehow smart enough to figure how to undo the clasp. 

Vegeta’s watching mutely, feeling strangely removed from the moment, as the visor falls away, and his features are revealed in entirety. A gasp from the younger Saiyan, and then Kakarot ... Kakarot does this thing where he smiles so widely that his entire face lights up with color, piercing through the dull gray of the skies like he’s the sun... And there’s really no other word for it, no other description Vegeta can use except to say that at that moment, Kakarot’s just- beautiful.

“That’s better,” Kakarot says softly. As if the discovery is too much for him to keep upright, his knees give way. Vegeta catches the younger Saiyan to steady him. 

Still grasping and lightly supporting the other Saiyan upright, Vegeta is even able to feel the minute trembling of his larger frame.

“Vegeta…” Kakarot breathes out, looking at the prince like he is the centre of his world, like nothing else matters right then. 

The reverence in his gaze and fondness in his tone takes Vegeta’s breath away. 

As they hold each other’s gaze, there’s a strange air between them, like something is happening. Strange feelings started to merge into each other, feelings both of them are yet to fully understand, to admit to. It makes something in Vegeta’s throat tighten...

...and - and Vegeta can’t face this right now, so he _breaks_ the moment by leaning away slightly. The prince coughs to clear his throat, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Kakarot.” 

Alarmingly, the moment he says that name, perhaps because of hearing that name fall from Vegeta’s lips after so long, Kakarot’s face crumples.

Contrary to popular opinion, Vegeta is actually **good** with crying people in the sense that he could **definitely** make people cry, and has done it many times. But in dealing _with_ them, he has no clue. So the prince takes the only logical course of action available and panics.

“Kakarot, are you about to cry?!” Vegeta demands. “Why are you crying?”

Vegeta’s never seen Kakarot cry. Never, not even once, not with anything that isn’t good humour, definitely not with any serious emotion or angst even on those rare days in the past when the other Saiyan broods. 

“Vegeta, stop,” Kakarot laughs, even as his voice is breaking. “I’m okay. It’s just… I’m so glad to have you back.” 

And in a move that makes Vegeta’s heart feel like it’s going to beat its decrepit way straight out of his chest, Kakarot wraps his arms around Vegeta’s shoulder fiercely.

Vegeta squirms in discomfort. Part of him wants to push Kakarot away. The stronger part of him wants to return the gesture, and **all** of him is unable to deny the way his heart feels - like it’s either about to explode, or melt all the way through his feet.

“I watched you die…” Kakarot murmurs, as he presses his forehead to Vegeta’s chest, as if listening to his heartbeat. 

“That wasn’t actually me, Kakarot,” Vegeta reminds the younger Saiyan gruffly, but his voice comes out more gentle than he’d meant to. 

“It might as well have been,” Kakarot whispers. 

Vegeta hesitates for just a moment, places one arm lightly on the blade of Kakarot's shoulder. It feels like Kakarot needs this. It has nothing to do with Vegeta reveling in the feel of their proximity, the first actually meaningful close contact between them in **_years_ **, this stupid soft fight obsessed idiot clown that is his rival…

Finally Vegeta lets himself go. He tightens his hold, revelling in the solid feel of Kakarot’s muscular, solid frame wrapped around his. In their strange embrace, he feels Kakarot squeezing him back. 

They’ve never held each other like this, never ever, and somehow it’s more terrifying than any of their electric-charged moments over the years.

In the heat of their proximity, weird, tender,emotions rise to the surface. Soft moments between them, like this -it’s rare. Vegeta wants to run, but he also never wants it to end. That doesn’t even make sense, but -- goddamn Kakarot, always creating the impossible. 

Kakarot shifts slightly, just so that his face is turned into the crook of Vegeta’s shoulder. “I can’t believe you let yourself call me Goku for so long, **you** ** _asshole."_** There is fond exasperation in that murmur. Vegeta can’t suppress a shiver at the flutter of the younger Saiyan’s breath against his neck. “You know I’m never going to let you live it down, right?”

Vegeta closes his eyes, feeling his tail squirming. If it had freedom of movement right then, for sure it would be wrapping around Kakarot, a thought that makes him feel distinctly warm. 

He’d expected more anger from the younger Saiyan -and maybe there would have been, had Kakarot not just watched a version of him die- but once again, Kakarot’s capacity for compassion surprises him.

_Kakarot..._

The younger Saiyan turns his head slightly, so that he’s able to look at Vegeta in the eyes, though his hands stay wrapped around Vegeta’s frame like he’s reluctant to let go. “So,” Kakarot says conversationally, and Vegeta braces himself for the tough conversation that’s sure to follow, “what’s the yummiest thing you ate in space?”

…

…

.

That....That is... a Kakarot question that’s so very Kakarot in nature and in its utter inappropriateness, Vegeta cracks up, for the first time in a very long time. It’s cleansing, it’s hilarious, and it’s - horrible, because something warm and wet is burning in the corner of his eyes-

-It’s completely not what Vegeta’s expecting to hear. But that’s what the prince should have expected, because Kakarot’s never done anything but screw his expectations, and so it startles a laugh out of him. 

Kakarot is looking at Vegeta with wonder, even something like adoration, all that makes the prince feel like curling up to hide. A gentle hand reaches out to wipe something wet and warm off Vegeta’s cheeks, but the younger Saiyan is smart enough not to comment. 

Vegeta would be ashamed, but he’s cried in front of Kakarot before. Once when he was dying at Frieza’s feet. Twice if he counted Janemba.

This is the first time the tears aren’t from sadness or frustration. This time, it feels light. Free.

“Vegeta,” Kakarot says reverently, and his tone and eyes are so full of love that Vegeta is unable to bear looking at him any longer. 

So Vegeta 

\- breaks the gaze, and pulls back. 

_(Where would that moment have taken them , had he allowed it?)_

Kakarot thankfully doesn’t push it. But then, both of them are probably at the limits of their comfort zone, and unlike fighting, this would not lead to increases of strength, it just made one more vulnerable. “Bulma is going to lose her mind,” Kakarot says.

Oh.... shit.

“I… I can’t handle them all right now, Kakarot.” Suffocating guilt and nausea take root in his bones. “I can’t.” How could Vegeta even begin to explain why he left, when he himself doesn’t even know - 

Kakarot’s right palm covers his, warm fingers grazing them gently. It distracts Vegeta enough that his hyperventilation comes to a halt. 

The younger Saiyan waits for a moment before lacing his fingers with Vegeta’s, the gesture so caring and tender that Vegeta’s helpless to do anything but receive it, and hope his heart doesn't pound its merry way to the hell he deserves. “I’ve been there, V… We’ll face it together, okay?” Kakarot says, a sweet smile on his lips. 

And Vegeta remembers this is the man who died a hero but thought of himself as a villain, and chose to stay dead under the mistaken notion it would keep his loved ones and beloved home free from danger. If anyone knew anything about how guilt and silent self deprecation can sink, tie into one’s bones and veins and settle there like a second heartbeat, Kakarot would. 

Maybe they are more similar than Vegeta has allowed himself to think.

Maybe it isn’t just a platitude. Maybe, they could actually face this together. 

Vegeta manages a weak smirk. “I’m not looking forward to seeing how mad the woman is going to be, though.”

Kakarot’s trying not to smile, the bastard. “Sorry, ‘Geta… can’t save you from that.”

But the way Kakarot’s fingers intertwine with his tells a different story.

Vegeta’s scarcely aware of his tail escaping, curling lightly around Kakarot’s arm. The moment he realises, his face flames and he tries to pull it back, not that Kakarot would be aware of what it means, hopefully.

“Oh hey, your tail’s back!” Kakarot exclaims happily, eyes bright and with zero wonder, as if this isn’t the latest in a series of strange events to happen in a day.

Vegeta stays silent and flicks it away, willing it to stay very still. 

“...Can I touch it?” Kakarot asks, and where the younger saiyan would normally be brazen, there is something almost shy in his tone. 

Vegeta curses - at any other point in their companionship he would have denied Kakarot, but right then fresh from the whole ordeal of Fu he is powerless to deny those hopeful eyes anything. Gingerly, he places the tip of it on their still locked fingers. 

Kakarot’s hands graze his fur, and **_now_ **there is wonder in his gaze. Something in his eyes softens when he realises that Vegeta’s tail is trembling, ever so slightly. 

“I won’t -”

“I know,” Vegeta finishes sharply. Of course Kakarot won’t hurt him, won’t do anything like yank his tail or whatever. To have all that power, and not use it to cause conscious harm. Of anyone, Kakarot is the person Vegeta would trust the most.

He never stood a chance against this man.

Then Kakarot makes the mistake of stroking his tail, tip to base, and a sound comes out of Vegeta’s mouth that he’s not aware he’s able to make, up until that point.

Vegeta immediately claps a hand over his mouth to cover it, feeling the heat rush to his face. 

When he looks up Kakarot’s gaze now has the hint of something darker and heated about it.

“Vegeta, ah -” well today is definitely a day for firsts, Vegeta’s certainly never seen Kakarot stammer ever - “I - sorry, I shouldn’t have -” 

A quiet cough somewhere around them. Vegeta’s startled enough to twist out of Kakarot’s grasp, cursing himself for dropping his guard. He and Kakarot have both been in their own small bubble so much that Fu could have appeared and beheaded them before they even saw it coming. If Fu was to arrive right that second he would be able to slaughter both saiyans with zero fight, and Vegeta would die with no regrets.

But thankfully it’s only Merus, who is smiling, purple silver eyes the warmest Vegeta’s ever seen them as he looks between the two Saiyans. “I see you’ve figured it out, Son Goku,” Merus comments quietly. “I am glad.”

“Yup! Thanks for the hints, Merus!” Kakarot grins, all sunshine enthusiasm. “They didn’t really help me, but still, thanks!” Innocent-faced, savage little shit. 

“You are welcome,” Merus replies, completely ignoring Vegeta’s glare just as Kakarot does. No wonder the two seem to get along immediately, not that Kakarot wouldn’t be able to make friends with anything with two legs. 

“You would be wise to suppress your ki for a while more, Agent V.” Merus says. “Piccolo and I assume you’re not particularly keen to unveil yourself as of yet, so he is -very valiantly, I must emphasize -keeping the others at bay.” A ruminative pause. “He seems quite an intelligent one.”

“The Namek is generally a pacifist,” Vegeta interjects, knowing well enough where this is going. “As is Kakarot.” Might as well put that out there, even if it comes across as aggressive. “They will not join the Galactic Patrol, Merus, so you can stop considering it.”

Merus’ smile is both amused and enigmatic, with a non-committal hum to follow it. Kakarot touches Vegeta’s shoulder. The touch is light, but it might as well be an electric shock for what it does to the prince’s nerves.

“Aww, look at you being all protective,” the younger Saiyan teases warmly. 

“S-shut up, Kakarot, no one can or wants to protect you from your own idiocy. You're a hopeless case.”

Kakarot’s eyes are dancing. “Hm, I’m not the one who tried to pull off the world’s worst ever disguise with the worst ever nickname, but whatever you say, _Agent V_.”

 **_“_ ** You little **_smartass-”_ **

“But V, **_you’re_ ** the little one-”

“I apologise for intruding,” Merus says over the bickering, sounding distinctly non-apologetic. His gaze turns serious. “As heartwarming as this reunion is… our mission is not over yet, Agent V. Earth and this universe is still very much in danger.”

Vegeta feels a flash of foreboding. He’s learned over a long period of time to trust his instincts, so it makes him uneasy.

It helps that there is the comforting presence of a marshmallow in a tank's body beside him. 

Vegeta glances at Kakarot. Fierce, battle-ready eyes meet his own. At that exact moment they aren’t Goku or Vegeta, Kakarot or Agent V; Super Saiyan 2 or Majin; they are two ferocious Saiyans, ready to defend their home.

Kakarot’s gaze also turns contemplative, the way he does when he gets serious and protective enough that someone’s about to get utterly crushed. Vegeta’s always found that effortless switch in mannerism- from exuberant and silly, to steadfast and authoritative- disturbingly attractive, and he is going to hell for even allowing himself to think about this in great length. 

Well he is going to hell anyway, so-

That is the moment everything literally goes to hell.

Vegeta cries out as pain suddenly **_erupts_ ** in his brain, exploding outwards as if it’s trying to crack his head in half. He instinctively claps a hand over his forehead/ temple , but it does nothing to staunch the screaming **_agony-_ **

**_“Did you think it would be that easy to get rid of me?”_ **

Fu.

Vegeta should have known Fu would be back - he did know, but he’d been too busy holding Kakarot -

“ _Welcome back to the darkness, Majin Vegeta_.”

**No.**

The sensation of something dark and horrible clawing its way into his mind is horribly, horribly familiar. Just like that when Vegeta allowed the Majin mark into his mind for a power boost, for a chance at fighting Kakarot - only this time, Vegeta doesn’t want it, doesn’t want this-

Vegeta lets out a scream, stumbling back from Kakarot -

“Vegeta!!!”

“Stay back-” Vegeta grits out. “Kakarot-”

‘Kill him,’ Fu’s voice whispers in his mind. ‘You’ve always wanted to, take your rightful position to your throne- Kill him-’

 _-No, no, I_ **_won’t_ ** _let this_ **_happen-_ **

**_I am the Saiyan Prince-_ **

**_‘KILL HIM-_ ** **’**

“ **No!** ” Vegeta roars, and his aura blasts into life around him, flashes or crimson between brilliant gold- “ **You will not use me -to do this** -”

_Because I’m not that person - anymore-_

Because he and Kakarot have both come too far to go back there now-

Vegeta’s dimly aware of Kakarot yelling, maybe even Merus urging something, but it’s faded and faraway, lost in the roaring in his ears. 

Vegeta knows what he has to do. 

* * *

_'The question is: is this a hello, or a goodbye?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The quote I used at the start is supposed to be serious, but I can't stop giggling at the fact that I have to highlight "first death." Only in Dragonball. I can hear Vegeta and Goku with identical smirks together: "Bold of you to assume we can die."
> 
> 2\. From Vegeta's last line: Vegeta knows what he has to do... but *We* don't know, Vegeta! D':  
> I did not kill off other- Vegeta uselessly. I will leave that here. Wait for it ... and Goku’s got more to say, he is kind , NOT docile.... >:D
> 
> I'm slowly pulling out all the easter eggs from the last six chapters... I hope I've done this right and subtly enough that you guys feel it natural / remain invested.
> 
> 3\. It would be nice to hear *what you enjoyed, maybe *what you speculate will happen, because I’m an anxious bunny who thinks this is not good enough but I've gone over it enough times that the words have faded into each other, and can’t make it better anymore >< (easiest template here for a review, to use on myself and all your favourite writers)
> 
> Hold tight- the universe (and I) have big plans for both Goku and Vegeta, for them grow as individuals and partners. There's room for them to grow still. Despite the big reveal being over, I hope you’ll stay with me to the end-They haven't gotten that kiss yet, after all ^^ (will they?)
> 
> Title of chapter is in reference to DBGT.


	8. Katabasis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I’m glad we got to hold each other, even for a while."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katabasis: a literary term describing a hero's descent into the Underworld.
> 
> The lovely Ephraim1999 aka eeecat has requested permission to translate this work into Mandarin Chinese. For those who prefer to read in Mandarin, I will link the story here once the first chapter is up :)
> 
> I've given this my best to the point I have nothing left to give. For those of you who have supported me through it, thank you very much. ^^ The next four chapters are my favourite ones of all, so I hope you'll give this a chance and stay with me to the end.

Chapter 8 Katabasis - soundtrack: [Spotify ](https://open.spotify.com/track/535WLA35NAS4Vqra2ReZFR?si=kw_U7g0zSfayB8DIZ1jwqQ)/[Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JbxlYRPbZg)

Suggested listening for best experience

* * *

“ _Welcome back to the darkness, Majin Vegeta_.”

**No.**

The sensation of something dark and horrible clawing its way into his mind is horribly, horribly familiar. Just like that when Vegeta allowed the Majin mark into his mind for a power boost, for a chance at fighting Kakarot - only this time, Vegeta doesn’t want it, doesn’t want this-

Vegeta lets out a scream, stumbling back from Kakarot -

“Vegeta!!!”

“Stay back-” Vegeta grits out. “Kakarot-”

‘Kill him,’ Fu’s voice whispers in his mind. ‘You’ve always wanted to, take your rightful position to your throne- Kill him-’

 _-No, no, I_ **_won’t_ ** _let this_ ** _happen-_ **

**_I am the Saiyan Prince-_ **

**_‘KILL HIM-_ ** **’**

“ **No!** ” Vegeta roars, and his aura blasts into life around him, flashes or crimson between brilliant gold- “ **You will not use me -to do this** -”

_Because I’m not that person - anymore-_

Because he and Kakarot have both come too far to go back there now-

Vegeta’s dimly aware of Kakarot yelling, maybe even Merus urging something, but it’s faded and faraway, lost in the roaring in his ears. 

Vegeta knows what he has to do. 

* * *

“Vegeta!!!”

Goku watches in horror at the eerily familiar scene before him: Vegeta clutching at his head, Vegeta screaming, backing away as a malicious life-force tears into the prince’s own, shredding it like paper.

It feels like a recreation of the Majin scene again, a low point with bad memories for them both - terrifying to relive - Vegeta lost in the belief of his own penchant for violence; Goku unable to save him from himself.

But it doesn’t last long. People forget that underneath all the light-heartedness, Son Goku is forged in steel. His eyes narrow, and he moves to grasp Vegeta by the shoulders, even as the prince stumbles back and tries to push him away.

“Stay back-” Vegeta grits out. “Kakarot-”

“No.” If it had been anyone else Goku maybeeeee would have been worried, but this is **_Vegeta_ **. Vegeta’s always been strong-willed - this is the guy who walked off a spirit bomb, not a single one of the enemies Goku’s faced before or since has been able to do that. “Vegeta, you’ve done this before, you can do it again-”

“Kakarot- he’s- get out of here-”

“No!” Goku shouts. “Vegeta, I know you’re better than that-”

“Kakarot--” Vegeta sounds like he’s dying, or begging, and Goku honestly doesn’t know which is worse but he won’t let it happen.

Vegeta’s aura blasts into life around him, flashes of curious crimson between brilliant gold. Goku’s reaching for Vegeta, determined not to lose him again-

Vegeta’s voice rises to a scream - 

“No! **You will not use me -to do this** -”

One flash, and both Vegeta and Fu are gone.

* * *

Back here again.

The Demon Dimension is every bit as dreary as Vegeta remembers it to be. Earlier he had been too focused on the frantic Kakarot rescue, but this time, he’s able to see the place for what it is - desolation, undeath.

Both times Vegeta’s been here, he notices the same thing. It never feels malicious, just…cold. Calculated. As if a predator is watching Vegeta, too sated from its last meal to bother him and yet still curious enough to track his every move. Yet no matter where he turned, Vegeta could never find those eyes.

No matter, if Vegeta has his way, nothing left of this place will remain after.

Because that’s the conclusion Vegeta’s come to, as he wrestled against Fu’s Majin mind control. To save the Earth from the darkness currently threatening to envelope it, Vegeta has to eliminate its source- the Dimension itself.

It’s another suicide mission, not one Vegeta will come back from.

_...Sorry, Kakarot._

Vegeta’s not a martyr- he’s still hoping he will magically find another solution, but the deeper into the dimension he goes, the more the certainty grows. Vegeta is slowly realising that he is likely not to make it out of here alive.

“Kakarot,” he says quietly to their air, in the unlikely event that their mental link is still open. “If I don’t make it… tell them I have regrets , but it was worth it.” 

For a moment, Vegeta allows his shoulders to cave in and his head to bow down. Lets the despair and anger at the utter unfairness of it all overwhelm him to the point it physically shows in his body. 

He had **_just_ ** reunited with Kakarot again… hadn’t even managed to be yelled at by Bulma, not been able to hold Trunks…

And just for that one moment the prince succumbs to the injustice of it all, the helplessness, the despair, the **_loneliness_ ** ; lets it wash through his whole being. 

It’s horrible, it’s terrifying, to be lost in the negative miasma of emotion, but it's also strangely… freeing. Cleansing. In a way Vegeta has not felt since before he left Earth.

The last time Vegeta remembered feeling anything akin to this is when he faced off against Majin Buu. He hadn’t thought he would get another chance to live again back then, too.

Unbidden, images assault Vegeta’s mind, like the last highlight reel before the goodbye.

Narrow young eyes tinted lavender, the perfect mix of his parents. 

Red lipstick, beautiful blue locks, a mind and tongue sharper than any blade he’s faced.

Sunshine eyes, savage tongue, simultaneously the dumbest person and the fiercest warrior he’s ever met. 

_I wish… I could have another chance, one more time, with all of you._

What is it Bulma used to say? If wishes were fishes…?

It is such a small thing, but on the cusp of infinite oblivion, in lieu of addressing other more important thoughts, Vegeta wishes he has the complete Earth phrase.

A breath in, and that moment of self-pity is gone. Vegeta squares his shoulders, lifts his chin, gaze resolute. 

_I’m ready for you._

Darkness teases the edges of Vegeta’s mind. It’s like a thin veil, fueling him where his natural stamina started to wane. It didn’t fill him or corrupt him, but it nudges his senses with sweet whispers. Offers of power, more and more until he is brimming with it. Until…

Until **_what?_ ** That isn’t who Vegeta is or wants anymore, and Fu should really know this by now.

It’s still whispering, so Vegeta scowls. “Stop it, Fu. Babidi and Dabura couldn’t control me even when I **_allowed_ ** them - what makes you think **_you_ ** can?”

A purple silhouette, forming into shape. The outlines of the figure bleed into the fabric of space like smoke would, as if the entity isn’t fully there, but Vegeta recognizes the muscular frame that speaks of a lifetime of combat. The bespectacled face. The sharp red eyes.

Vegeta did not expect _this_ , but somehow, he isn’t the least bit surprised.

Fu’s red eyes meet his. It’s almost ironic that the hue is the same shade as Frieza’s. 

‘You are a fool to have come back with me here. How many bad decisions are you trying to make?’

“I’m aiming to beat my previous record,” Vegeta says aloud. “Break my limits, and all that.” 

‘Would have thought you’d be busy reuniting with your lover.’

Vegeta ignores the heat that rises to his cheeks at the term. Fu had no right. “Would have thought you’d be _dead_.”

Fu cackles, like he’s humoring an extremely amusing child. 

“So what was that thing about life forces being bound? Did you just tell a lie to the other version of me? Your precious _little cub_?” 

‘One should always deal in deceit, should they run the risk of betrayal. But then, you should know something about that, no? Prince of destruction? Child of evil?’

Vegeta glares. “Shut up. I’ve never claimed to be anything different.” No, Kakarot and Bulma and Trunks did that for him. 

‘Always so much fire.’ One smoky tendril which Vegeta presumes is a finger reaches to caress his face. ‘Precious little cub.’

“I’m not,” Vegeta snaps. “Your cub. The other me may have been your puppet, but I am not.”

‘Theoretically _._ ’ The detestable smirk is back. ‘But then, are you really that different to him? Both of you slaves dressed like a prince, helpless to the machinations of those you serve.’

Vegeta feels the first pinprick of anger and wrestles it down. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to rile me up, and it won’t work. I won’t be distracted. Nothing you say or do is going to change my mind right now. I have every intention of blowing this place to beyond hell.” Better get that out right now.

‘I have no love for this place of sorrows.’ Fu’s tone is dismissive. ‘Distraction isn’t my goal.’ The distant impression of an enigmatic smile.

Vegeta rolls his eyes, holding in a snort. Kais, angels, demons, they’re all the same, all the power but too cryptic to make an actual damn difference. “Then what the hell are you doing here?”

‘How would you feel about taking on my mission? Creating the utopia I dreamed of?’

Vegeta actually laughs out loud this time. Oh, that was funny, in a twisted way. He has to admire Fu’s unapologetic boldness. “You’re joking right? My only goal is to save Earth. I’ve no interest in your **_stupid_ ** plans.” 

Fu is unrepentant. ‘You and I are not that different, you know. Our fates were decided for us. Even after we have turned our backs to our tormentors, we could never fully escape their influence.’ His eyes stray to Vegeta’s forehead. ‘Demon King Dabura saw something within you… something special. You would be a worthy successor.’

 _“_ All he **_saw_ ** was rottenness and a puppet to be used.” Vegeta smirks bitterly. “Those days are over for me.”

“Why? The darkness suits you. It’s inherent in you.”

Hypocritical bastard. “Like it is for you?” Vegeta challenges. “You were born into it, after all. It was your fate to be Demon King. Yet you fought against it.”

An eerie smile. “As I said. Not that different, little cub.” The smile turns into something mournful. “And yet, the little cub turns away from me still...”

“Are you- **_crying_ **?” Vegeta asks incredulously. For all the shit he’s seen, this is one that he can’t actually believe.

‘I lost my favourite fighter, little cub. I am allowed to grieve. You betrayed me in the end.’

“Not me, other me.” Vegeta supposes he should feel more slightly creeped out to hear his other self being talked about like a trophy, but then, he is quite used to being treated as such by Frieza. He gives in to curiosity. “Couldn’t you just go find another fighter, in another timeline?”

“Of course.” Fu inclines his head. “You may be exceptional in your ruthlessness and cruelty, cub, but there are many like you.”

“Thank you, I always knew I was special,” Vegeta replies dryly. 

“You were.” Fu’s smile is wistful. “I truly cared for your other self. Remember - I first chose to save you not out of any personal gains, but out of kinship and empathy.”

“I have _no_ idea what you’re talking about, and I really don’t care,” Vegeta tells him. 

Fu’s eyes meet vegeta’s, and suddenly there are flashes of memory:

A hard won freedom from his creators. Freedom that still was a confused, cursed existence. 

Pain and struggle that ended with no meaning. 

Someone he’d inadvertently put his hopes and grown fond of, who betrayed him in the end.

Fu did not have easy beginnings either.

Much as Vegeta despises the man, it’s like looking into a clouded mirror. What could Fu have been, had his life started in different circumstances? It was an utter waste of potential. Vegeta’s almost...sorry.

Of course, in these situations, as with all, Vegeta’s thoughts stray to Kakarot, his saviour, his parallel, his counterpart. 

_Well, Kakarot, I suppose I can see what you saw in me all those years ago, on Namek._

Curse Kakarot, Bulma, Earth for this bleeding heart Vegeta’s developed, because even he can recognise how similar he and Fu are in origin.

Vegeta smirks. “Hmph. Seems we’ve both always been doomed from the start.”

Fu eyes him curiously. ‘And yet, I sense peace within you. Your earlier turmoil is gone- I cannot reach it.’

“Disappointed you can’t use it to manipulate me?” Vegeta snorts.“You know, I learnt something. You can’t control where you’re from, or the circumstances you’re born into. But you can always try to make the next decision better.”

And now Vegeta’s thinking of guileless dark eyes, a heart too good to be true, a stubborn insistence on seeing the best in people … he can’t help the fond little upturn of his lips at the thought of the other saiyan, and a bit of heat rising to his cheeks. “Of all people, an idiot taught me that. Looking back or harboring regrets is good, but only if it doesn't paralyse you from moving forward.”

_Which is what you’ve always done, Kakarot. Which is what I hope you can find it in you to do again, after this is over._

_I’m glad we got to hold each other, even for a while._

Vegeta fully recognises there are people he owes apologies to. The other version of himself had died mired in lies. Vegeta doesn’t intend to go the same way.

_I’m sorry, Kakarot. Bulma, Trunks… I’m sorry._

\------

Back on Earth, Goku’s trying to reach Vegeta through their mental link, trying to follow him. Merus is watching him intently, coaching him through it. 

If Vegeta could do it one way while Goku was unconscious, Goku’s sure he can do the same. They’re evenly matched, after all.

_Kakarot,… worth it._

That’s Vegeta! Goku frowns, trying again. He’s pulled off what people consider to be miracles before, and anything concerning Vegeta is definitely one of them.

Yes, there! It takes a few more moments, but Vegeta’s mental voice comes through stronger this time. 

_... sorry, Ka..rot._

_I’m glad we got to hold each other, even for a while._

Wait, what? It takes a moment for the words and implications to sink in, but when they do, Goku feels the blood draining away from his face. “What?!” Goku scrambles up, never mind his injuries, never mind his body protesting in pain. “Vegeta? 

No response. Goku’s sick of hitting a wall in this channel for **_three straight years_ ** , so he raises his mental voice to a shout. _Vegeta!_

 _‘I heard you the first time, Kakarot.’_

“Vegeta, what --”

_‘I didn’t give you a proper goodbye last two times, did I.’_

Is it because of the mental link that Goku’s feeling light-headed? “---Vegeta!!! Don’t do anything stupid, we can’t use the Dragonballs anymore-”

 _‘I know.’_ There is a strange moment Goku has the ghostly impression in his mind’s eye, of Vegeta’s lips turning up with a sad, resigned, smile in the distance. “But it’s the best thing we can do… I had this coming.”

No. _No._

Goku’s not used to being on this end. He and Vegeta have **_just_ ** reunited, they were supposed to get another chance, they were supposed to try again -

“Vegeta, don’t do this- come back, you can sense me right -” 

Vegeta’s voice is soft, nothing like the proud prince Goku knows him to be. _‘I need to see this through to the end, Kakarot.’_

“No!” Goku insists. “We can take that chance, we can figure out something else- you’ve done enough - Vegeta -”

Pure power, unmitigated and proud and wholly Vegeta, swells from the other end. 

_‘Keep looking out for Bulma and Trunks, will you?’_ The quiet resignation in those words is **_not Vegeta_ **-

“Vegeta, no - please -”

_Please don’t do this- it doesn’t have to be like this-_

It couldn’t end like this. They couldn’t end like this.

Goku stops pleading. He has been on the other end before, knows what it is to be walking the thin line between death and life with a handicap. Knows the courage it takes, the resolution it demands, the finality of the decision, knows it well enough that he will not disgrace it with useless pleas. There is only one thing to say now. “Vegeta-”

But Vegeta doesn’t hear him, or chooses to ignore him, as Vegeta does. “Kakarot.” Vegeta says, his voice as strong as a whisper. “I -”

There is a burst of what feels like static in Goku’s mind, laden with something like bittersweet triumph and unfulfilled promises and longing and pure unadulterated _grief_ , and their link goes dead.

_For all our battles, our conflicts_

_For all the laughter over years_

_Thank you._

* * *

**Dirge Without Music, Edna St Vincent Millay**

-I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.

So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:

Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned

With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.

Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.

A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,

A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,—

They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled

Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.

More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave

Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;

Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.

I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

* * *

Other mere mortals may have given in right there. 

But Goku has never been a mere mortal, and he is not resigned.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone catch the DBS Vegito reference? haha. Shortest chapter update / piece ever from me, I think. Very sharp readers will notice the chapter count went up. Make of that what you will :) The next on will come soon ^^ It would mean a lot to me if in the interim, you could leave a review, even if it's just screaming XD 
> 
> Writing Agent Oblivion helped me through depression, to have a reason to keep living the next day, and as the days passed I grew more invested in the story and characters. It gave me a sense of purpose. I think you can see that in my writing of Vegeta, making sense of his surroundings, slowly finding things to fight for. what I'm saying is, like Goku, he is not resigned and this is not over.


	9. I Am Not Resigned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Vegeta!"
> 
> "Dad!"
> 
> "Come on, Vegeta. Bulma and Trunks are waiting for you too, you know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, hopefully still an impactful one, and then WE GET TO THE NEXT THREE BIG ONES I HAVE BEEN DRYING TO SHARE.
> 
> Writing this feels like a very complex game of chess. I have to seriously think about where to put the pieces, how to structure the story in a non-linear way, where they all fit together.
> 
> Everything will come full circle, and everything will be put in its proper place... even if it's not the original place. That's my promise :>

Chapter 9 I Am Not Resigned - soundtrack _:[Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/29fFobz39KMASzWhtRR3lW?si=XZun4OEqS9Oaso7AG8b42g)/ [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JH_cM59JY34) (suggested listening)_

* * *

Memories flicker almost too quickly to catch. Snapshots of Vegeta's life.

King Vegeta's solemn face, touching his forehead to Vegeta's little one together in a gesture rarely given and received, one final time before Frieza came calling.

Fighting for survival, not for its own sake. A Prince destined to and for slaughter.

Looking down from his high spire upon Kakarot. Spiky bangs framing a determined gaze. Vegeta had not been prepared for what he had seen in those eyes that day - apprehension, yes, light anger, yes, but also- excitement. 

Watching Kakarot slaughter the Ginyu force easy, without actual slaughter. Vegeta's fury had been tainted with awe. How had this third class become so much stronger so fast?

Kakarot arriving, solemn and powerful like the light of the full moon. Moments before Vegeta was shot clean through the heart, physically manifesting what had been an already dying spirit over the years.

Desperation as he lay dying at Kakarot's feet, begging to give some meaning to all the senseless tragedy both caused and received. 

The first moment Vegeta laid eyes on that brilliant, golden fury of super saiyan: Kakarot's softness giving way to something darker... but strangely without malevolence.

Watching his son from the future meet a terribly similar fate to his own first death, shot clean through the abdomen this time. Realising for once, rage could live in more than vengeance. Could arise out of unexpected atachments.

Kakarot's peaceful smile, gentle green eyes right before he morphed away to die, right before the world completely lost all meaning. 

Finding that meaning slowly over 7 years, in blue eyes sharp with intelligence, unsaiyan purple tufts of hair framing a piercing young gaze that is so very saiyan.

Submission to Majin. One moment of selfishness; desperation to be seen and acknowledged, leading to the whole world's destruction. But that wasn't new for Prince Vegeta right? Destined for destruction.

Except, at the last moment, he wasn't. From the enemy to the wildcard to the ace. Prince Vegeta and Kakarot -Son Goku- had made the final stand not as reluctant allies, but as friends. Maybe more than that.

The arrogant and the protective; the fatalistic and the spirited. What neither of them ever lacked was courage.

Leaving out of self hatred, only to return out of care of something bigger than himself.

* * *

_Vegeta’s floating._

_Vengeful voices assault him from beyond the void. Vegeta doesn’t know their faces, but he is very familiar with their screams. He instigated them, after all._

**_Prince Vegeta..._ **

**_Murderer. Planet Destroyer. Despicable._ **

_Vegeta doesn't fight the charges. For what? They were all true._

**_Those you’ve killed did not get another chance at life. Why should you? Why should you have a family, start a life, get a chance for better memories?_ **

_You’re right. I did nothing to earn them..._

_But… I’d do everything I can to deserve them._

To correct his wrongs, to keep them safe, Vegeta would do whatever it takes.

Even if those two things mean fading into oblivion.

**_Whatever it takes? Hahaha. You're willing to die for your mistakes. You think it’s noble. But really, it’s an easy escape isn’t it?_ **

Vegeta frowns. _There’s nothing easy about this,_ he thinks.

**_Killing yourself to fix situations is the easy path, Prince. Just removing yourself from the situation. Not taking responsibility for your actions._ **

**_Are you willing to take the harder path? To spend your entire life trying to correct them? Answer us, Prince Vegeta._ **

Vegeta smirks, all haughty arrogance, the honour of a warrior prince. _What do you think I’ve been doing the past three years?_

**_You’ve been running away._ **

_NO. I needed to find answers, and I couldn’t have done that without finding a way to redeem myself first._ Vegeta now knows this with certainty, now.

**_And have you found them?_ **

_Two voices emerge, louder than the other shrieking, moaning ones from the void._

_"Goku, you must stop now or it will kill you..."_

_"It doesn't matter... Vegeta will die if I don't ... all of this for nothing..."_

_"If you die for him to live he'll never forgive himself... that's enough..."_

_Vegeta drifts again._

_The scene changes. From the oppressive freezing cold to warmth. Puffs of cloud so dreamy they look almost unreal._

_Speeding over seemingly endless seas, the wind whipping his spiky hair. Kakarot’s powerful aura, a steady, comforting presence beside him. The pure unadulterated feeling of freedom and strength, the invincibility of two saiyans in their prime._

_“Vegeta!” “Dad!”_

_Vegeta turns. Kakarot‘s stopped in his flight. He's looking at Vegeta with the sweetest smile. Eyes bright with affection. Still that tinge of mischief, like he knows something everyone else isn't privy to._

_Around them the scenery once again changes. A brilliant starlit heavenscape, thousand of pinpricks of light. Constant changing hues of the sky. Vegeta’s not in Agent V’s mask anymore, it’s as if it peels away, leaving him to stand there as himself. Prince Vegeta the fourth. Just Vegeta._

_Kakarot’s holding out his hand, gazing at Vegeta with gentle patience, allowing the prince time to warm to him._

_Vegeta can still hear the tormented, sadistic voices, but they’re faded into the background. No stronger than a whisper._

_“Come on, Vegeta,” the younger saiyan coaxes gently._

_Vegeta hesitates._

_“Bulma and Trunks are waiting for you too, you know.”_

_…_

_A breath in._

_..._

_A breath out._

_..._

_Two Saiyan hands join._

_Two minds interlink._

_Two lives bind._

_The voices stop._

Vegeta opens his eyes.

Given all that’s happened, Vegeta doesn’t think anyone can blame his brain for promptly going into reboot when he wakes up in Kakarot’s arms.

Kakarot’s face is way, way too close, his eyes are shining with helpless relief, and his soft voice is like music Vegeta never knew he needed. “Welcome back, Vegeta.” 

Vegeta stares. 

And stares.

His first lucid thought is that he’s died and somehow ended up in heaven, here in Kakarot’s hold, but then again the way Vegeta's heart is currently trying to beat its way out of his body is a great indicator that he’s not particularly dead. In fact, Vegeta's body is currently feeling very warm, very much alive, the skin burning wherever Kakarot’s arms and skin brushes his. 

So, the logical conclusion is that Vegeta’s not dead. 

“Why… why am I still alive?” Vegeta breathes out, but his voice comes out unusually weak, nothing like his usual gruff tones.

It must have something to do with this idiot who’s currently grinning at him like Vegeta’s his whole world.

This close he sees the exact moment when Kakarot’s face crumples a bit, a hint of a frown gracing his handsome features. The proximity might have flustered Vegeta at any other time, but he has more important things to worry about right then. 

“You don’t sound happy about it,” Kakarot says, an attempt at being light-hearted, but Vegeta’s conscious of his hold on the prince tightening slightly. 

“This is _**serious**_ Kakarot!” Anger and panic starts to rise. If Vegeta knows anything at all about Kakarot, the too-good rival must have pulled off something that had put his idiot self at stake - “Why am I still alive?! I should be dead!” 

Vegeta catches the edge of defensiveness in his rival’s eyes, and that's when he realizes - he can feel it. Something of their mental link’s changed, solidified.

Dread and fury battle. Fury wins, as it always does. “Kakarot, **what did you do**?!”

“I don’t know what you mean-”

“ ** _DON'T bullshit me Kakarot_ **, what did you do?”

The idiot finally has the grace to look sheepish. “I… may have sorta bound my life force to yours?" 

Silence. 

"With Merus’ help," Kakarot clarifies quickly, like that fucking made it the slightest bit better.

Vegeta’s vision spins.

Leave it to Kakarot to always, always shock him.

“You **_WHAT_ **?!”

Kakarot winces, leaning back, but his arms stay almost possessively wrapped around Vegeta’s trembling frame. “Vegeta-” he tries, but Vegeta’s in no mood for his smooth-talking bullshit- 

Vegeta takes a deep breath, a deep breath he shouldn’t have been able to take if not for a fucking self-sacrificing idiot, and promptly starts to shout. “What the fuck were you thinking?!" Because there is no way that kind of magic wouldn't have repercussions, no _**way**_ -

Kakarot’s gaze narrows in **that** particular look, that reminds Vegeta just how much of a saiyan he is. "I was thinking that I wasn't going to lose you twice in one day," Kakarot says, vice calm enough, but his eyes are a storm.

"You had absolutely no right Kakarot! You had no fucking right!”

“I’m not going to stand by and just **let** you be a self-sacrificing idiot, Vegeta!”

“I’m not self-sacrificing!” Vegeta snaps. The words rub him the wrong way, Kakarot’s the martyr, not him -

“Says the person who’s tried to blow himself up twice now,” Kakarot interjects, ever the smartass.

“Oh yes, twice I almost died against millions of deaths I caused in the universe. Sure, the scale really balances out, doesn't it-”

“So that’s what this is about, all this time, you’re punishing yourself?” Kakarot asks hotly. Ah, so this is what the anger was about. Of all the times- “Gee, Vegeta, for someone with so much pride you seem to really hate yourself-”

“ **SHUT UP**!” Vegeta roars, heat rushing to his face - it’s not fair of Kakarot to read him or call him out like that- “How dare you! This is not about me, it’s about you forcing yourself into all my business-”

Kakarot’s eyes flash with hurt, but the younger saiyan rallies quickly. “If you had the choice, would you just have stepped back if I was the one who went off to die?”

“It’s not the same-”

“You wouldn’t have let me do it-”

“You wouldn’t have even given me the **_choice_ **-”

“Well I had the choice to not let you die this time, and I took it!” Kakarot’s glaring, cheeks puffed like an overgrown child, somehow as endearing as it is ridiculous -- “Dammit Vegeta, why do you insist on running off to get yourself killed at every chance-”

Vegeta laughs in his face. “Are you even listening to yourself?! **_That_ **is fucking rich Kakarot, coming from someone who chose to stay dead for 7 years!”

“I **_regret_ ** it, okay?” Kakarot’s shouting back, and wow, even when he’s livid he’s unfairly attractive, something Vegeta's been trying and failing not to notice for a good 10 years that it’s _**not fair**_ \- “I regret it! For me time didn't pass at all, but I missed so much of life, time with Goten and Gohan and Chichi and everyone and **_you-_ ** _”_

And it’s only because the younger saiyan’s voice actually **_breaks_ ** at this point, in a way unlike Vegeta’s ever heard it, that the prince pauses to listen. 

“I really... thought that was it, Vegeta,” Kakarot says plaintively. That’s when he realizes Kakarot’s fingers were also shaking, where he was still holding Vegeta upright.

That... is alarming, because it isn't who Kakarot is. Alarming enough that Vegeta pauses to study him.

Kakarot looks... for lack of a better word, depleted. Shadows under his eyes, exhausted, dehydrated, even malnourished as if that is even possible. It only occurs to Vegeta then to wonder what the implications of a shared life force means, for the sharer and the dying receiver. Fu and other Vegeta had not been the best example...

...But maybe that is something to address another day.

For now, Vegeta's fingers move of their own accord, brushing aside Kakarot’s bangs. “You’re… actually really upset, aren’t you?” Vegeta asks. He means for it to be angry, curt, but what comes out is gentler than his usual abrasiveness.

“God, Vegeta, you’re so **_stupid_** ,” Kakarot huffs. And then Kakarot's pulling him close, and Vegeta’s being hugged again.

"I was infected by you," Vegeta quipped, flicking the other Saiyan's forehead with his tail in reprimand, but he doesn't resist the arms that encircle him.

Vegeta wants to pretend this isn't affecting him, but in honesty, he likes being held like this, in the reassuring weight that is Kakarot and his warmth. 

And maybe, Vegeta’s sick and tired of pretending not to feel for three years.

So he wraps his own arms around Kakarot, and finally lets go of the tension that's made its home in his body. In automatic response, his tail curls around Kakarot’s arm too. Vegeta would be embarrassed, but then he...thinks? he can even feel Kakarot smiling into his hair, and somehow, that makes it a little bit okay.

“I love how your tail feels,” Kakarot murmurs. Vegeta’s face flames - that is a _little_ less okay. In an uncomfortably heat-inducing-in-interesting-places kind of way less okay.

Very quickly he rewrites the last few seconds to throw Kakarot's last comment out of his mind, choosing to avoid explaining just how suggestive that kind of comment is among saiyans. It didn't happen if he pretended it didn't happen, right?

Strangely, Kakarot’s hand rests on top of Vegeta's head, much like he’d done to Kakarot all those years ago, back in the plains. Except Kakarot’s touch is more ...purposeful, somehow…? Vegeta’s instinctive desire to whack it away is overridden by confusion. What is Kakarot doing?

He catches Kakarot’s intent gaze. An impossible thought crosses Vegeta’s mind. “...Kakarot. Are you _measuring_ me?” the prince asks incredulously.

Kakarot has the audacity, the fucking **_nerve_ **, to just grin sweetly back. “Well, you were kinda taller in the armor... just wanted to make sure you didn’t actually grow taller.”

A beat.

**_“You little-”_ **

Despite being both emotionally and mentally put through the wringer that day, Kakarot proves his fortitude by still somehow being fast enough to block the punch that tries to smash in his nose. “You mean you, right?” Kakarot taunts, even as he’s laughing and being pushed back.

Vegeta’s already regretting this. Never mind, murder Kakarot and then exile again it is. 

The two of them tussle about for a bit. It’s… it’s fun, and knowing that they’re mostly safe, that earth isn’t in danger anymore, finally…Vegeta finally lets himself feel it, finally lets himself loose in it, this feeling of safety, letting go.

“I’m going to kill you, Kakarot,” Vegeta seethes, and okay, he admits, he’s playing this up, but dammit, they deserve this.

Kakarot evidently feels the same, as he catches the metaphorical ball and tosses it back. “You've been wanting to kill me for what, ten years now, Vegeta?” the younger saiyan taunts, laughing. 

“As you so savagely said, I’m not super good with schedules,” Vegeta hisses, unable to help amusement from slipping into his tone. Instead of blocking, Kakarot catches his next fist and pulls him close.

Vegeta’s ready to tell him the fuck off, but the words die and his heart begins to hammer. This near he sees an impossible amount of fondness in Kakarot’s gaze that takes his breath away.

“What’s the matter, Vegeta? Not enough reach to get me?”

 _ **...No,**_ that is very definitely _**not**_ the matter. Kakarot's face is too close and Vegeta's all warm and his tail is curling around Kakarot's arm and this - this-

“Are you two finished yelling at each other for being self-sacrificing idiots yet?” a feminine voice asks, so familiar it makes Vegeta’s heart almost stop. Vegeta looks around to see Bulma, who pauses at the way both saiyans were very clearly poised to hit each other. “...No? Should I come back later?”

Realising they actually have an audience around them, from Merus to Piccolo to Krillin, Vegeta flushes, as his heart starts beating like crazy. His tail curls in on itself, as if trying to hide too. “No, we’re good,” Kakarot assures her, grinning. His one arm pulls the prince close. 

“Good, because I’m very mad,” Bulma says.

Uh-oh.

Bulma is beyond mad.

“WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DO SOMETHING WRONG, THEY JUST SAY SORRY!” Bulma shouts at him with tears in her eyes. It seems the woman has reached her tolerance limit for Vegeta’s bullshit. “NOT DISAPPEAR FOR THREE WHOLE FUCKING YEARS!”

Normally Vegeta would be shouting back, but right then, he is too out of it. He’s rapidly reaching the emotional limits of what he can handle for that day, so he falls back to his default coping mechanism: antagonism and sarcastic wit. “You know I’ve always had a flair for the dramatic,” he says. Beside him, Kakarot starts to laugh. 

All they need is Trunks, and Vegeta will never feel more complete than that moment.

There’s a warmth unlike anything Vegeta’s ever felt surrounding them all, these people he’s miraculously found his way into calling his family. It feels like he shouldn't be a part of this, still doesn’t deserve to be part of this, but he is, and nothing can take it away, and this feeling of belonging is so incredibly overwhelming. 

For the first time in 3 years, a genuine smile escapes Vegeta. It comes just like the presence of Kakarot in front of him, the presence of his family, even the Dragon Team over the years-unbidden, but not unwelcome.

\----

But of course, because Vegeta’s lucky stars are negligent assholes, things could never be that simple. 

* * *

Barely an hour later, they’re standing facing a fleet of grim-looking officers, and the Octopus-looking thing that is Galactic Patrol King himself. 

Merus is the angriest Vegeta's ever seen him. Kakarot is standing protectively by Vegeta’s side, glaring down everyone in the clearing who isn’t Merus. Even the usually farcical Agent Jaco is looking uncomfortable at their predicament.

“Agent V, real name Prince Vegeta the fourth,” the Galactic Patrol King booms, “for various war crimes, planetary genocide and wreaking terror on a universal scale, you are to be taken into custody."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because DBZ and Super completely glosses over all the genocide and Vegeta's past, but here, now, he has to face the repercussions.
> 
> Ah, shit. Are Vegeta and Goku ever going get some peace so they can actually solidify their relationship???
> 
> Chapter 10: In which Goku reminds everyone he's a BADASS, Vegeta reminds everyone why he's the rival to Goku's badass and he's the mother-effing PRINCE of all saiyans...  
> ... and the two cosmic forces finally, FINALLY meet in the middle. XD
> 
> On a meta level...It's the 14th Feb... Valentine's next week...uwu
> 
> Meanwhile, I would LOVE to hear your comments- even if it's one line on something you liked, or hated, or even if it's just keyboard smashing - it feeds an author, and I can tell you on ebhalf of every writer that every word is appreciated. ><
> 
> The next chapter is the one that started ALL OF AGENT OBLIVION. That one scene. That one particular scene. I am super excited and scared for it, scared it'll be more hype than anything solid >< but sooo much heart went into writing this story and the next three chapters, that I hope you will find meaning in it as I did. :'D
> 
> Thank you to one very specific person: Baby Buu, who changed my mind about what Vegeta's fate was going to be at around chapter 2 of the story , because originally I was going to have him die as atonement. Buu, you saved Goku's lover <3 (and RisingWing too but I was still in two minds at that point XD)


	10. The Defiant One(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Goku reminds everyone he's a badass, Vegeta reminds everyone why he's the rival to Goku's badass, and the two cosmic forces finally, FINALLY meet in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of Chapter 1 Agent Oblivion has been translated to Mandarin by the lovely Ephraim1999 / eeecat , and can be found here : https://ohmysaiyan.com/t/topic/1390  
> I will link it down below as well :) thanks to Eee for doing this, I feel very humbled 💓
> 
> Happy Valentine's day and Happy Lunar New Year for the year of the Ox, to those of you who celebrate :>  
> If you're celebrating alone, remember that love and acceptance comes from yourself first, because you can't find it in others...  
> as Vegeta learns.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Agent Scribz and our endless discussions re the genocide Vegeta has commited and his show of awareness of it in Chapter 64 DBS. Shoutout to you Scribz x

Chapter 10 soundtrack: [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/0eT1FdHJVxzvB43dzmIf0u?si=UsJ-dd7WTdWzdNNJ_L7xpQ)/ [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ibb_B4bQ6VM) _(Recommended listening for best badass vibes)_

Mandarin translation of Chapter 1: [C1 Agent Oblivion ](https://ohmysaiyan.com/t/topic/1390)

* * *

Vegeta thought it would have been over at that point.

But of course, because his lucky stars are negligent assholes, things could never be that simple.

* * *

Barely an hour later, they’re standing facing a fleet of grim-looking officers, and the Octopus-looking thing that is Galactic Patrol King himself. 

“Agent V, real name Prince Vegeta the fourth,” the Galactic Patrol King booms, “for various war crimes, planetary genocide and harbringing terror on a universal scale, you are to be taken into custody."

Merus is the angriest Vegeta's ever seen him, purple-silver eyes flashing as he stares down the Galactic Patrol King. Kakarot is standing protectively by Vegeta’s side, glaring down everyone in the clearing who isn’t Merus. Even the usually farcical Agent Jaco is looking uncomfortable at their predicament. “With all due respect sir, I will not allow this to happen.”

Royal Octopus is unperturbed. “I regret to inform you that you have no say in the matter.” 

“With all due respect sir," Merus inclines his head, but his eyes remain on fire. "As the highest ranking officer in the GP, and your second in command on the operational field, I will remind you that I do.”

“Agent Merus, I do not want this to escalate so I request you stand down. This does not have to become a conflict. Stand down.”

“No,” Kakarot cuts Merus to the answer. "Sorry, I can't let you do that."

Kakarot's always one to favour bluntness over bullshit, something Vegeta usually appreciates, but right then he could use a little less of it.

Kakarot's got a certain set to his shoulders as he hovers by Vegeta' side, as if ready to pounce on anyone who dared to come close. Years of fighting beside the younger Saiyan means Vegeta knows **_that_** particular look, **_that_** particular slant of Kakarot’s eyes. That solidity in his posture, that speak of gentle but staunch defiance. 

Kakarot is very much ready to fight down the entire horde of Galactic Patrol agents before him if he has to and oh ** _shit_** , this is going to be a disaster **.**

"Kakarot," Vegeta mutters, but Kakarot ignores him.

The King’s eyes rest coolly on Kakarot. "He calls you Kakarot... but your face is familiar..."

"This is Son Goku," Merus interjects. "You know him from our records…”

"Ah yes, So Goku, esteemed champion of the Earth,' the King says. The equivalent of his brow furrows, and Vegeta guesses he is probably wondering what a saviour is doing with an intergalactic mass murderer.

_Good luck figuring it out, Royal Octopus, because I've been wondering for years._

Kakarot shrugs. "Well, I don't know about Earth's champion of whatever, but I won’t let you take Vegeta away.”

"Kakarot," Vegeta says again, and is ignored again.

"Every criminal must face his crimes, Son Goku. So must Prince Vegeta."

“That's true, but Vegeta's done more than his share of good too." Kakarot's tone is determined. "I can't - I won't- let you take him away." 

“Good does not cancel out bad. One only preserves what is already there, the other takes away.” Kakarot opens his mouth to speak, but whatever pervasive power the King had reverberates through the clearing again, silencing them all. The King looks coldly Merus. “I would expect this from an Earthling who knows nothing about Galactic Patrol laws, and the way we operate, but **_you_ ** surprise me, Agent Merus.”

"I am not without reason. Agent V is one of our best agents.” Merus' use of present tense does not go unnoticed by present company. “In his time of service, he has more than accounted for his misdeeds.”

“And how do you measure that?” The King’s reply is sharp. “The scales are not yours to balance, the ledger not yours to cross out, Agent Merus. They are not even within mine. Do not overstep your boundaries.” 

“You are correct, I apologise." Merus does not sound particularly apologetic. "To give him into imprisonment or execution would be downright a waste and a shame to our system."

This time the King meets Vegeta’s eyes. Despite the strictness, there is a strange note of empathy in his gaze. “Given that _Prince Vegeta_ **_was_** one of our own agents, it is **_even_** more important for us to show that we are impartial, Agent Merus.”

Vegeta stares back. Strangely, he feels… nothing. No defiance, no alarm, no anger.

_I’ve had this coming for a long time now._

“With all due respect, sir.” Vegeta finds it almost hilarious because Merus’ tone is anything but respectful. “I request you clarify what your plans are with _Agent V_ , if he is to come under the Galactic Patrol’s captivity.”

Kakarot’s anger is like a brilliant star that draws every eye in the clearing. “Merus-”

The agent angel hushes him, eyes fixated on the tentacled form of the Galactic Patrol King. Kakarot’s lips press into a thin, firm line, his eyebrows drawing into a little frown. It’s a look so unsuited to such a carefree persona that Vegeta catches himself wanting to reach out and smooth it away. 

The fuck? Now is the least appropriate time to be having such thoughts, Vegeta.

“We will bring him before the Intergalactic Court. Rest assured, he will be treated fairly.”

The irony was that fair might not be equitable to desirable, not for Merus and Kakarot. Sure enough, they both looked dubious. 

“Assuming _Agent V_ survives incarceration,” Merus says. He doesn’t need to elaborate on this caveat- Vegeta knows he probably has many enemies on both sides of the GP’s justice system, both out and behind bars. He could probably take them all anyway. “It would still come down to execution or imprisonment.”

“ _ **W**_ ** _ **h** at?!_ ** ” Vegeta winces- Kakarot doesn’t shout very often, and it’s in everyone’s best interests. “ **_Execution?!_ **After all he’s done to help you?”

Merus’ eyes hold a similar slant. “It seems Son Goku’s sentiments are in line with mine, sir.”

“I won’t let you do that,” Kakarot says.

“Yes,” Merus agrees.

If Vegeta had been inclined to be more expressive, he would have put his head in his hands. Why does he keep getting stuck with the defiant ones? 

Oh, right. Pot and kettle, Vegeta, serves you right. Nappa would be laughing at him from hell, if he had had a body.

“It is not within your say to agree or disagree,” The King’s voice is rising, because of course, he has to maintain an image. “Prince Vegeta has been a terror to many. He has never answered for his crimes. It is time for his past to catch up with him.”

Kakarot opens his mouth looking angry but Merus beats him to it.

“Sir, if I may suggest...” Merus is still managing to keep his voice level. As an angel Vegeta’s fairly sure the agent can make the whole of them agree with his ‘suggestions’ through the power of will, so Vegeta’s fairly impressed at his saintly patience (ha). “Both imprisonment and execution are a great waste of Agent V’s exceptional combat and strategy skills.”

Instantly, Vegeta knows from the way the King’s eyes gleam that despite appearances, the King is more shrewd than he let on. “What are you proposing, Agent Merus?”

“I counter propose that Agent V be punished in service of the Galactic Patrol.” Merus’ tone is so even, so matter-of-fact that Vegeta has to take a moment to process what he actually said. “Instead of execution of imprisonment, we put his skillset to use, perhaps in Special Ops.” 

A beat of silence. Then -

“Preposterous!” “Impossible!” “Irrational, Agent Merus!”

The King waves the other parts of the fleet all off with a tentacle, in what is apparently the universal symbol for Shut the Hell Up. “Agent Merus, that is a promotion, not a punishment.”

That’s true -Special Ops is one rank above Vegeta’s Elite in the Galactic Patrol, at the moment, with the morbidity rate to match. Vegeta doesn’t care about that, but Merus doesn’t even flinch.

“Sir. It would be a waste of such incredible talent …”

While Merus sets out his case, Kakarot sidles closer to Vegeta. 

“Vegeta, why don’t you fight back?” Kakarot hisses. “You haven’t said a word - You’re not like this!”

_Except when I want to be like this. When I agree._

Vegeta doesn’t say it aloud, but he sees the moment Kakarot comes to realise. Kakarot’s eyes flash in shock first, and then slowly narrow in that very familiar way it does when the younger Saiyan really, **really** doesn’t like something.

There's a firm set to Kakarot’s mouth, a firm set to his jaw. “I’m not letting them take you away.”

“Kakarot, this is not your call. Stand the fuck down.”

“I’ve never listened to you before Vegeta -what makes you think I’m going to start now?”

The hated thing was Kakarot was right, because **_of course_ ** Kakarot would absolutely jump to Vegeta’s defence. Probably along with most of the earthlings, too. He refused to drag them into this mess with him.

“Don’t involve yourself in this,” Vegeta tells him, even knowing it would be useless he had to try. “The Intergalactic court is like the flipside to the PTO, if they don’t get what they want they could really cause hell for Earth-”

“I don't care, I’ll fight them all-”

“-you can't fight something without a body!” Vegeta snapped. “You can’t even kill your enemies, Kakarot- are you prepared to slaughter every Galactic Patrol officer? Is that what you’re proposing> Because that’s what it could come down to! I mean it- stay out of this one-”

“Vegeta, you got involved with my business how many times now since we’ve known each other?” Kakarot doesn’t even wait for Vegeta to reply. “Always coming in half assed telling everyone how you’re the one to finish me off. Well, it’s my turn now.”

“Kakarot this is not about saving, or stupid turns. This whole-” Vegeta waves his tail -“-thing was **_bound_ ** to catch up with me sooner or later, you can’t just-”

“Well I **_am just-_** ,” Kakarot mimicked, and Vegeta would have been impressed at the vehemence had he not been incensed. “I had you dying on me **_twice_** in the space of how many hours, Vegeta-”

“-not me-”

“-still you!” Kakarot’s so fierce when he’s like this, why are saiyans attracted to feistiness dammit- “Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do because **_I’m not going to just stand by and lose you again!_** And what about Bulma? And what about **_Trunks_**?”

… and that’s when guilt floods in. Damn Kakarot, for knowing exactly what to say and who to evoke to throw Vegeta into doubt and bury him under.

Because it was true, if there is any one person who deserves Vegeta's apology the most, it’s not Bulma, not even Kakarot, but _Trunks_ , his son. Vegeta can even picture it: if Trunks was standing there right then with them, the boy would be making noise too. Probably staring down the whole fleet contemptuously, arrogant in his lack of fear, yet utterly guileless in his gaze.

Nothing less than expected from a child of Vegeta.

Merus is still arguing with the King. “He’s not even repentant,” one of the officers is saying. “Look at those eyes, how quiet he is, not even trying for an apology. The murderer knows he’s got no other choice.”

 **_What._ ** Vegeta’s lips curl. **_They think I have no other choice? Really._ **

Alright then, they can accuse Vegeta of whatever heinous shit-most of it’s true anyway, but the pride that forms Vegeta’s steel inner core will not allow this slight.

If there is any time to set a good example for Trunks on what honorable pride means, on the dignity of the Saiyan Royal line, now is the best to start. 

At that moment, Vegeta’s abruptly glad for the presence of Kakarot, the only other pureblood Saiyan beside him.

“Kakarot,” Vegeta mutters. “If you want to be involved so much, stay here, beside me.” Kakarot’s steadfast belief in everything he does is something Vegeta can learn from.

Vegeta stalks forward until he’s level with the King. Gratifyingly, Merus and all the bickering officers fall silent. It’s good to know that Vegeta’s still able to command attention with his presence.

“Let me make one thing very clear.” Vegeta holds his head high, every inch of his half-forgotten royal training dredged back up to the surface. No one spoke, no one moved. “If I wanted to fight you against this charge, **none** of you would stand a chance against me.” He emphasises again, “ **Not. A single one of you.** ” 

_Except Kakarot_ , _because they’ve done that before_ , but the younger Saiyan’s made his allegiance clear, and it’s a thought that actually moves Vegeta.

No one spoke, no one moved. Strangely, in that moment, Vegeta feels the strongest he has in a very long time -no fear, no hesitation. 

He’s had this coming for a while now, and it’s a relief to actually meet it head on. “I **choose** to surrender to you, because I **_choose_ ** to serve my dues. I **_choose_ ** of my free will to face punishment, whatever form it takes.” Vegeta glares. “Not because I _have no choice,_ as you so _charmingly_ put it.”

“And what if,” the King challenges him. “to satisfy the call from the many people you’ve killed, your due is execution? Likely a public one?”

“ **_Sir_ **\- ” Merus starts, but the King shakes his head. “Let the perpetrator speak, Agent.”

“Then I will face it, if that’s what it takes.” Kakarot makes a furious motion, but Vegeta counters it by the lightest swish of his tail between the younger Saiyan’s shoulder blade, in a half remembered gesture from another lifetime. “However I have one condition.”

“You are not in a position to be making demands, _Saiyan Prince.”_

“Am I not?” Vegeta asks coldly, and it feels like he’s putting on a mask again, the cool mask of Agent V, the arrogant mask of his younger self. “If I choose to fight, your entire fleet may be able to take me down…” As Vegeta speaks, he’s aware of Kakarot coming to stand shoulder level beside him. “...but it will not be an easy or fun fight, and certainly not a fruitful one.” power balance shifting in the clearing.

The visual representation of them as a united front is not lost on their audience. It isn’t what Vegeta planned for, but somehow it feels exactly as it should be.

The power balance is shifting once again, bowing the two cosmic forces that are Vegeta and Son Goku.

Vegeta hated that this was happening right now, that once again he was ragging Kakarot into his mess, but were the tables turned Vegeta would have absolutely done the same.

The King exhales slowly. “What is your request then?”

“Earth’s sovereignty.” Vegeta says, and what little chatter there is dies abruptly as literally everyone in the clearing, Kakarot included, looks at him in confusion. “You leave Earth alone. Forever. Even after I’m dead and gone, no offers of protection in return for their relinquishing their sovereignty.” 

Because essentially, that is what Frieza did to the saiyan race. Offer “protection” in return for a bit of control, until control becomes absolute. Until absolute became absolute destruction.

Vegeta couldn’t save one home planet from annihilation - _too young, too weak, too arrogant_ \- but he can certainly protect **_this_ ** one, if it’s going to be the last thing he ever does.

For a moment, no one moved, as if stunned by Vegeta’s demand. To be fair, Vegeta’s sure that malice isn’t the Galactic Patrol’s agenda, but implicit trust is Kakarot’s thing, not his.

He forgets that unpredictability and defiance is also a **_very_ ** Kakarot thing.

“See!” Kakarot says suddenly, gesturing sharply at Vegeta. “Even now Vegeta’s thinking of protecting us! How much more proof do you need that he’s changed?”

Vegeta’s face goes up in flames. “Kakarot.”

“-It’s not fair! He grew up with no one to show him better, the moment he could he changed-”

“Kakarot.” Vegeta hisses, without turning his head to look at him. “Shut up, that’s not even fucking true and you’re embarrassing me-” 

Kakarot snorts. “Only you would care more about being embarrassed than being dead, Vegeta.”

He’s speaking as if it’s just the two of them bickering and no one else watching. Vegeta wants to scream because it’s annoying, and laugh because it’s reassuring, and he’s probably going to do both because he’s going insane- that’s the conundrum that Kakarot forces upon him. 

Merus iloks like he is both amused and appr The King looks between the two Saiyans like he has no idea what is going on and doesn’t particularly care for it.“I admit, I do not see how this changes your fate in the slightest, Prince Vegeta.”

Oh, for - “I am not trying to run from facing what I’m due,” Vegeta snaps. “I’m choosing the lesser of two evils, and in doing so, I’m ensuring I do not drag others down with me. **_I have not forgotten_ ** where I come from, or who I am, or what I did. And frankly, neither should you.”

The last sentence, Vegeta directs not at the King but at Kakarot. 

Kakarot meets Vegeta’s gaze unflinchingly, as Kakarot does. 

_Let this go._

_Let me go._

Kakarot’s mental voice reverberates strong. _No._

They still have an audience, but it almost feels like the two of them are in their own bubble right then.

“The arrogance,” one of the officers behind the King murmurs.

“The **_dedication_ **,” another mutters. Vegeta doesn’t give a shit. 

All he sees right now are obsidian eyes framed by wild bangs, and **_that_** look. That look Vegeta’s far too familiar with, the compassion of Goku and the strength of Kakarot merging together into this one unique being who Vegeta spent his life chasing, running away from, and saving.

Vegeta knows this look.

Kakarot’s about to pull off something preposterous and unpredictable, as Kakarot does, and all Vegeta can do is _watch_.

“I have a better idea,” Kakarot says. 

What Kakarot proposes is surprisingly respectful and reasonable to everyone present, with the singular exception of Vegeta, that it is accepted without much ado. It’s Vegeta’s turn to completely lose his shit, but no one else cares.

Kakarot simultaneously earns the ire and respect of every single officer in the Galactic Patrol Council present that day, with the King definitely leaning more towards the latter. And if that isn’t Kakarot described in one infuriating, perfect sentence, Vegeta would be half a Namek.

\-------

Goku’s never been good with diplomacy, but he has blunt honesty on his side, and it always has worked in his favour in the markets. So he tries to use it here.

Goku’s trying to phrase the permissive way he said it very deliberately, so that it leaves no room for another option, without coming across as offensive. It didn’t matter if it was just himself, but as it was Vegeta at stake, Goku wants to be more careful.

“Vegeta serves his sentence as an agent in the Galactic Patrol’s service,” or whatever it was, “No imprisonment, no execution,” Goku says. 

_Because I will fight you anyway if it came to that,_ he does not say. Hopefully it won’t come to that.

The Galactic Patrol King -Goku’s still finding it hard to take an Octopus with a crown seriously, but he’s trying his level best - squints at him. “And why should we agree? What is your end of the bargain?”

Goku shrugs. He didn’t think there was a better way to phrase this one. “I’ll join the fleet, and serve along the Patrol along with Vegeta.”

A beat of silence as everyone digests Goku’s words. Wait for it...

 **“** **_You what?!”_ **

Oh well, Goku had predicted Vegeta wouldn’t take it well. 

“...It is Agent V’s sentence to serve, not yours, Son Goku,” Merus says, but his tone is mild, and he doesn’t look disapproving.

“Kakarot-”

Goku ignores the stubborn asshole. They’ve **_both_ ** made it through impossible odds alive, once again, even to the point of their life force being bonded. And after this Goku’s determined they’re going to stay together in some manner or the other, even if it kills them both. “If Vegeta’s gonna have to serve his sentence with you, I’m going to.” Goku can’t help the smile that comes to his face. “I… want to be with Vegeta.”

His sharp Saiyan hearing picks up Vegeta’s small intake of breath.

Merus says something more to the King, but Goku’s no longer paying attention. Right then he is conscious of Vegeta’s gaze on him, probably stewing if the flick of his tail is anything to go by. For the first time since this has all happened, Goku avoids looking at Vegeta because he’s sure he would be helpless to hide everything he feels.

The Octopus King seems to have come to a conclusion. “There would be some mitigating and disciplinary measures for Prince Vegeta-” Goku frowns- “but as long as he is willing to adhere, I see no issues with this personally. To have you in our fleet would be an honour, Son Goku.” The King pauses. “I am in agreement with your proposal.”

And finally, finally, a weight that seems to have fixed upon Goku’s shoulders seems to lift off him. Lightness rises, like the feeling of flying, like being on a Nimbus cloud.

The moment the Galactic Patrol people leave, Goku braces himself.

Vegeta is **_angry_ **. Angrier than Goku has ever seen him, and given that it is the prince’s endearing default mode in the years Goku’s known him, that is saying something.

But the giddy lightness from earlier is still there and Vegeta’s radiating fury does nothing against it. 

Dimly Goku registers that Vegeta’s yelling at him, with Merus trying to pull the prince back.

“Vegeta, both of you have been through a lot today, please ** _calm down_** -“ 

“I will NOT calm down!" Vegeta roared. “He has no fucking **_right-_** ” The prince whips his head back to Goku, his eyes blazing with fire, all compact fury and disguised anxiety and **_alive_** and ready to shred Goku to bits land Goku--

\-- feels his heart warm, because...

...there Vegeta was, all fierce fire and wounded pride...

...and it’s... the most beautiful thing to see…

Upon later reflection, Goku recognizes that he hadn’t been thinking clearly at that point, else he wouldn’t have risked the bond he and Vegeta share. But then, everything was probably building up to this all along.

Goku acts on his impulses, He never spends too much time dwelling, because the future lay in action.

So as it is, as Vegeta keeps ranting, eyes _blazing_ with fury and positively beautiful and _alive_ -

As if in a dream, Goku’s hand moves to cup his cheek.

Vegeta’s tirade abruptly ends in an honest-to-Kami squeak as Goku’s lips meet his. 

Vegeta’s lips were surprisingly soft. For a second, Goku registers the taste of blood, heated skin, lightning aura, royal warmth-

-and how Vegeta is unresponsive, stock still. 

_What-_

-Reality comes crashing back in, as whatever haze Goku had been in clears. Goku wrenches himself back in utter disbelief at what he’d just done, shaken by his own audacity.

Vegeta is staring back at him, seemingly in a daze. Goku feels a surge of dread and fear. “I’m sorry, Vegeta, I’m so sorry-”

Goku’s aware of Vegeta’s fist curling in the front of his gi. He squeezes his eyes shut, bracing himself for the blow he **_knows_ ** is coming -- 

But his eyes blow wide open again in shock as suddenly it’s Vegeta’s lips on his, Vegeta kissing him in earnest. There is something desperate and broken in the contact, as if he’s afraid Goku would disappear if he let go. 

Vegeta’s grip would have been strong enough to hurt a normal human. But Goku is not a human, they’re each other’s perfect counter-

Goku’s stunned for only a heartbeat more before he responds with the same fervor and desperation, wrapping his hands around Vegeta’s slim waist, around his shoulders. 

At the reciprocating contact Vegeta’s grip loosens slightly. Vegeta tilts his head slightly, so their lips slid together **_just_ **right. His smaller frame naturally allows Goku to dominate the kiss, but the prince doesn’t surrender completely. Gloved hands find their way into Goku’s hair, the both of them speaking their hearts through the meeting of their lips like no one is watching, like nothing else mattered.

Goku is only aware of Vegeta, the prince's presence dominating his every sense: the lean muscles of his shoulder, the curve of his compact body, his slim waist, the softness of his mouth, his familiar, comforting scent… and the way Vegeta’s tail wraps around Goku’s waist almost protectively. It makes Goku feel very warm.

When their lips finally part, foreheads still brushing gently against each other’s, Goku feels as if both forever and not enough time has passed. 

The two saiyans stay like that for several more seconds. It’s a rare tender moment between himself and Vegeta that Goku knows he would never forget.

Goku’s eyes open to meet Vegeta’s own dark ones. At this close of a distance Goku has to look down to meet Vegeta’s gaze, and Vegeta has to look up to meet his, something which on other occasions always leaves him feeling strange when he’s noticed it in the past. But this time, for once, it feels perfectly meant to be.

“Kakarot, what…” Vegeta manages, sounding breathless, but his tone is fond.

Goku breaks the silence first. “Vegeta,” he whispers, nuzzling the prince’s forehead, “Is this okay?”

Vegeta’s voice is a low murmur, gentler than Goku has ever known it. “A bit late to ask that now isn’t it?” Despite the harsh words, the prince makes no move to extricate himself from their strange embrace. To Goku’s delight, he feels the furry limb wrap tighter around his waist. “What am I supposed to take this for?”

Goku hesitated. He hadn’t been slugged yet, so could he take that as a positive sign? “Do you really need me to say it?” Very carefully, Goku lifted one hand to brush against Vegeta’s cheekbone gently. “I think it’ll make you uncomfortable.”

“Maybe I want to hear you say it, Kakarot.”

“That was me telling you,” Goku took a deep breath, “that--"

What Goku says then is for Vegeta to hear alone. No one else. He watches as Vegeta’s breath hitch. Watches as his eyes soften in a way Goku's rarely seen: wide, open, vulnerable, only for Goku. 

Goku makes a happy sound when Vegeta tilts up and brushes his lips. Vegeta’s face is slightly tinged in pink when he draws back, and Goku can’t help but think it’s the cutest thing ever.

It’s even more endearing how Vegeta attempts a scowl anyway, and completely fails at it, but Vegeta’s always been a trier. “Don’t think this means you’re off the hook, Kakarot. I’m still angry with you.”

Goku hums noncommittally.

“Kakarot, take me seriously.” Goku never has not. “I **_don't_** want you involved in the GP, in **_any_** of this.”

“Too late now, V.”

**_“Kakarot.”_ **

“Mmm.”

“Kakarot, they will corrupt you.” Vegeta’s voice turns desperate, vulnerable. “They will turn you into something you don’t want to be.” _Into me,_ Vegeta doesn't say, but Goku knows how to read him.

“Haven’t you noticed, Vegeta? I can be stubborn when I want to be,” Goku says, trying to make Vegeta laugh. Vegeta’s frown just deepens- nooooooo, not what Goku had been going for. “I don't care. I’m not letting you do this alone. You’ve been there for me, you’ve saved my life so many times. It’s my turn now to do something back.”

“Kakarot, that isn’t even true-It’s not about turns-”

“You’re right, Vegeta, it’s about us.” Goku touches his forehead to Vegeta's, and it makes him so so very happy that Vegeta doesn’t draw away. 

“I have nothing tying me back to Earth, Vegeta. There’s only one place I want to be now, and,” Goku links their fingers together, Vegeta doesn’t try to fight it “-that’s by your side.”

“And your family?” Vegeta’s eyes are like the pull of moonlight- arresting, unavoidable. “My situation cannot be helped, Kakarot, but yours can.”

“We can always visit them.” Goku chuckles. “Maybe because you’re with me, we’ll even do it more often. It’s true after all, Vegeta’s more likely of the two of them to remember.

This close, he can see the exact moment Vegeta’s resolve begins to weaken. “Kakarot, please…” Vegeta tries again, maybe just so that neither of them have any more regrets. “Walk away. Earth is your home.” 

“So are you,” Goku says simply. Does Goku need to shove it into Vegeta’s face? Home is each other. “Sorry V but you’re stuck with me now, and there’s nothing you can do to change my mind.” 

He watches hopefully as a wide range of emotions flickered through Vegeta's eyes, tail twitching whichever way. Exasperation, anger, resignation. 

Suddenly, the prince looks exhausted. His tail even droops, like it’s saying, _I don’t want to fight any more._

“Okay.”

Goku blinks. 

Then he blinks again. “What?”

“I said okay, Kakarot. I will go along with this, even though I’m not happy about you coming with me.”

First disbelief, then in a tentative sort of happiness. “R-really?”

“Yes Kakarot, really.”

\----

Kakarot sounds breathless, his eyes alight with joy. Vegeta gives him a half smirk.

“Someone’s got to keep you on your toes, anyway..”

Vegeta’s not expecting the returning savage snark. “Must be nice not to be the one on their toes for once.”

Beat. 

Vegeta’s eyes narrow.

**_“!!! You -!”_ **

A punch that a snickering Kakarot easily evades. **_Again_** with the short jokes. The infuriating thing is that Vegeta’s not **_that_** much shorter than Kakarot, and they **_both_** know it, and they both know that’s **_why_** it upsets Vegeta. 

And okay, fine, maybe Vegeta’s playing up his annoyance, but they deserve this. “I’ll give you a headstart to start running, Kakarot. 1, 2…”

“Running? Hah!” Kakarot, the little shit just gets right in Vegeta’s face for the sole purpose of laughing at him. “I spent **_years_** looking for you, the last wish I made on Shenron to **_find_** you -you think I’m going to run away?”

\---And just like that, Vegeta’s brain just gives up on him. Not even a resignation letter. Just ups and quits with no notice period.

In the absence of his brain, Vegeta’s instincts take over, leading him to do two things.

First, he shoves Kakarot back. The younger saiyan clearly wasn’t expecting that, so he goes sprawling.

Then, Vegeta closes the gap between them in a second, cupping his chin. Kakarot’s eyes widen almost comically. For someone who generally has the social awareness of a rock, it’s impressive how bashful his expression is. 

“Um, Vegeta…”

It’s Vegeta’s turn to be brave, to give and take this thing between them. “Kakarot, don’t go acting all shy on me now,” Vegeta warns, but his voice has a touch of light humour. “You literally **_just_** kissed me in front of everyone.” 

Kakarot’s answering smile is so sweet Vegeta wants to melt, and also wants to bash his own self in the head, not necessarily in that order.

Vegeta isn't certain why that **_smile_ ** affects him so strangely. Every time he breathes, he has to hold tight onto this thing in his chest, hold it and not let it expand too much, or else he might actually crack.

Kakarot’s face draws closer, his spiky hair even more wild than it usually is. It reminds Vegeta of a distant memory, teasing each other in warm sunlight, the boys’ laughter loud in the background, that time before he left. 

And something in Vegeta… cracks. He starts to laugh, laugh and laugh until there is nothing left to hold back, and the tight warm feeling in his chest just grows until it feels like he will either die or heal from it. 

Kakarot has that stupidly adoring expression again. “What's so funny?"

“You… you idiot,” Vegeta manages, once the laughter dies. “Always pulling off the most impossible things. Joining the Galactic Patrol! Now they’ll never let you go, you're stuck here forever."

“Aw, but this is great, isn’t it?” Kakarot’s eyes light up with that all-too-familiar excitement Vegeta’s ached to see over the years. “We’ll get to fight exciting enemies and get stronger together. Maybe we’ll even reach that fourth form, Vegeta!”

Vegeta… has to admit, it doesn’t sound so bad. 

“Something you can reach, at least.”

....no, screw it, it sounds fucking terrible.

“You are _**going**_ **_down,_** Kakarot.”

“Agent Goku is going down where?” Merus’ voice asks curiously from behind them. Vegeta’s face burns as he realizes they really really haven’t been paying attention to whatever and whoever the fuck was around. Kakarot hastily smothers down a laugh before Vegeta could strangle it out of him.

Infuriating as it is, it’s… a nice sound to listen to, compared to the hollowness that’s haunted Vegeta over the years.

* * *

**Later that night in Capsule Corp:**

“We should totally hold a party!” Bulma’s saying. Vegeta would need to talk to her soon, and Trunks. But not yet. For now, they were just basking in the feeling of being united again for a while. “All the invites, all the big -”

“Mom, I don’t think Dad wants -”

“Trunks, honey, your Dad’s not eaten proper Earth food in three years. I’m sure he’s more than happy to have this.” Bulma’s cheerful tone was distinctly threatening, the ‘or else’ heavily implied. “And you know, Goku and him are a **thing** now, -"

Vegeta's cheeks burn, stupid human term, they haven't made it official yet-

Bulma continues chattering with a wicked grin, knowing exactly how this was winding up Vegeta- "Everyone needs to know -”

“Bulma,” Vegeta groans. 

“That’s me!” Bulma says brightly. "We need to-"

“ ** _Bulma_**.”

“Still me. Deal with it, Vegeta, it's the least you get for being such an asshole for three fucking years."

Fair enough, he supposes, but ---“Kakarot,” Vegeta says loudly, “What do **_you_** think?”

Kakarot shrugs, eyes bright with laughter despite the slight pink tinge to his cheeks. “I’m good with this, as long as there’s food.” He draws close to Vegeta, the last words echoing through their mental link, _“and you._ ”

Vegeta's can’t find it within himself to scowl, but he can swear to any Kai out there that cares that he’s tried his level best.

He lets the discussion wash over him after that. Vegeta’s not walked Capsule Corp’s hallways for three years, so it’s a bit disorienting. The walls almost feel claustrophobic after a while, so Vegeta stirs.

Kakarot catches his eye questioningly, even prodding their mental link, but Vegeta shakes his head.

He leaves the door ajar as he slips out.

Behind Vegeta, the conversation is getting too animated for the late hour. Someone would probably put a stop to it soon. But not yet. 

Vegeta stands there, listening. 

Just listening.

He’s missed this.

A song for maximum KakaVege if you're wanting more on Valentine's day: [Spotify/](https://open.spotify.com/track/3sgXbDvrgbTBIefz4lJDEp?si=7UNnB99oR4arhGIfA4hqkg) [Youtube ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69dioVo0E4I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^^  
> At this point, if I were the reader, I'd be thinking: well, (hopefully >< )my heart is full, but I haven't seen enough of the aftermath. what next? I'd be wondering... why are there 2 chapters left? 
> 
> Next Chapter: Goku pops an important question (and it's not what you'd think.)  
> Vegeta reacts unexpectedly.  
> And what of Other-Vegeta?
> 
> I was nervous & critical of this chapter - there are still loose ends to tie, but the easter eggs lie much earlier on. A hint: if you were to go back to the first few chapters, you might be able to spot them. If not, I hope you will still enjoy the final two suprises :)  
> As always, reviews are always welcome -- any time and thoughts you share with me will be greatly appreciated, a phrase you liked, something you pondered over <3 Thank you for your time and following this so far!


	11. Before You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goku pops an important question. Vegeta's reaction is expected.
> 
> "It's time to say goodbye."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for light? I think? angst, amid fluff fluff fluff. If you're not in a good headspace right now, please come back to read this another time because I care about my readers <3
> 
> Starting scene is for Agent Pigeonton who asked to see the boys being soft. I hope this fulfilled you! Sorry it took so darned long to get here!
> 
> I am being self-indulgent in this fic by including much art. Please humor me, Stardust is scared bunny. :x
> 
> Thanks to Engineerd, Trista, Baby Buu and Dulcinea who talked me through the logics of this chapter at different parts while it as being written almost five weeks ago. Much love x

Chapter 11 Before You Go - soundtrack: [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/3s4QZioT4wdLOxxQjQxdgY?si=R3c9SQmWSE2EK0X4s7IJeg) / [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7cFIJRPxA8)

* * *

**Saiyan Grieving Ritual: "Ruka'a Cahaya", Warrior's Send-off**

_-For Saiyans, the dead are not considered to have passed away._

_They instead ‘fight on,’ implying the continuation of a journey rather than an end point._

_-In a sense this is not so much a grieving ritual but an observance of life ceremony, a warrior’s send-off._

_-The sender undertakes a journey on the night of a crescent moon. This particular phase is to symbolise a cycle completed, a warrior’s fight concluded, fading away of doubt._

_-The sender is to suppress their ki and enhanced defenses, in respect of the one who has gone to ‘fight on’ without a physical body._

_-They travel up to the highest point in the planet, climb up through all the ridges. This is to symbolise struggle, embracing challenge, fighting the good fight, in honour of the one who has gone to “fight on.”_

_-At the summit, the Sender is to perform a kata, the pattern and flows of which is unique to the spirit of the one who fights on._

* * *

It takes a few days for everything to settle enough that Vegeta’s finally stopped wanting to strangle Goku at every turn. 

Well, it’s mutual. Goku hasn’t completely forgiven Vegeta for leaving them all like that, even as he understands why Vegeta had felt like he had to.

—-

_“Vegeta, why did you leave? Was it because of me?”_

_“I don’t know.” A pause. “I think I had to find peace within myself instead of in someone else. Because I can’t be dependent on you, Kakarot. Or on anyone else. This has to come from me.”_

_Goku can understand that, he supposes. Healing, forgiveness, determination - they all had to come from within._

_“We don’t have to be dependent. We can be - no, we_ **_are,_ ** _equals. That’s what you wanted, right?”_

_\---_

Even so, every day still feels as dream-like and exciting as the first time he got to touch Vegeta again.

Neither Goku or Vegeta are particularly sentimental, but some days later, it’s an unspoken agreement to meet in the plains reminiscent of where they first clashed.

That’s when it happens: Goku and Vegeta's first all-out spar in three years since this entire ordeal began. And it’s nothing short of **_glorious._ **

The game is slightly different now, because it turns out having an extra limb gives you a lot more of an advantage in battle. It certainly took taken Goku some time to get used to the sensation of having his tail back, and it has not been without conflict. He’s lucky to have Vegeta guiding him through it.

Vegeta’s getting a little better about accepting his thanks nowadays. Just a little.

“Is that the best you can do, Kakarot, after three years?”

“You wish -I’m just getting started!”

The heckling, Vegeta meeting Goku fist for fist, blow for blow. The fierce nature of their exchange, belied by trust. The mutual sentiment of not holding back anything, because the other can take it - **_will_ ** take it, not break. Patch up the pieces together after.

Afterwards, the two Saiyans somehow end up watching the sunset morph into twilight together. Goku can feel every ache in his body, every beaten muscle, bone and sinew reminding him just how **_amazing_ ** it is to be alive. 

How ... tender, it is to have Vegeta's head propped against Goku’s shoulder as they watch the colours shift. How comfortable it is to have Goku's arm around Vegeta, tails winding around each other.

Goku’s heart swelled with something foreign he couldn’t name, and it kind of hurt but it also felt kind of warm and good so that was okay.

Never did Goku imagine all those years ago, when this warrior prince burned through the sky to instigate that first clash between them- that they would one day be sitting like this, simply enjoying each others’ company. 

He says as much. "Sometimes, I can't believe we've made it this far." Vegeta's tail twitches to show he's listening.

Goku doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of seeing Vegeta like this: the sharp lines of his brow relaxed, eyes calmly aglow the way Vegeta gets only after a ruthless exchange of fists and feet. The soft smile only Goku ever gets to see him wear.

Pity what Goku’s going to do is probably going to break the calm.

“Vegeta,” there is no good way to ask this, and subtlety isn’t Goku’s chosen strong suit, so he goes straight for the mark. “How… how do saiyans grieve for the people they care about?”

Instead of the quick sarcastic answers Goku’s come to expect and love, there is silence.

Vegeta shifts a little to scrutinize him. Goku immediately misses his solid weight.

“...Mm. I’ve not had to think about that for a while.” He’s never going to tell Vegeta how attractive he finds that ruminative little frown Vegeta has when he’s thinking deeply about something, because then Vegeta would never let him see it again. **“** Saiyans don’t have a word for grief, Kakarot, not really. Most die in battle, and **_you_** know above anyone that there are worse ways to go.” 

Just as other-Vegeta said, right before Fu lit him up like a human torch. Goku’s heart clenches, and he has to fight to keep his expression even.

“So, what do you call it then? If not grieving?” 

Thankfully, Vegeta doesn’t ask for a further explanation. They’re getting a little better at that, giving each other a bit more way. Trusting each other a little more each time.

“...The closest word to it would probably be a… send-off. A warrior’s send-off. _**Ruka'a Cahaya.**_ ”

“Send-off. _**Ruka'a-- Cak-haya.**_ " Goku repeats, the word a little strange on his tongue. But then this of all things shouldn’t be easy. “What do we do?" We. Not they.

Vegeta squints at him. "I'm not sure you have the attention span for it, Kakarot."

"Try me," Goku challenges him. Vegeta rolls his eyes, but there's an upward tilt to his lips.

Goku shifts enough that this time, it’s him who’s leaning his head in Vegeta’s lap. Gloved hands absently stroke through the spikes of Goku’s hair, making no move to push him away. In private, this is okay.

Three years ago this kind of contact would have been alien to them, but after everything they had been through ... probably led up to this. Could not have led to anything but this.

He listens in silent awe as Vegeta begins to tell him the grieving ritual - no, the "send-off" of their people. It’s not something Goku’s ever thought of, but right in the softness of that moment, Vegeta’s deep voice almost sounds like a lullaby.

Vegeta’s not as prickly or guarded as he usually is. It probably helps that Goku’s been much more verbal in his curiosity of the saiyan culture. 

Goku’s held back from asking Vegeta before, both because he’s reluctant to trigger bad memories and also because he is somewhat apathetic - what’s the point of looking back to what is lost and gone, when there’s so much more to explore and look forward to?

Now, with the memory of other-Vegeta’s dissolving weight in his hands Goku understands a little better: It’s not about not moving forward - It’s about remembering where you came from.

* * *

The light from the crescent moon casts surreal glow on the foliage of the mountains. Despite the fading phase, it’s been strong enough to guide Goku through the night’s journey so far. He’s mesmerised at its brilliance.

Goku pauses for a quick rest, just to catch his breath. His tail flicks a little behind him, helping to balance him against the vertigo caused by how high up he is.

Luckily there’s no danger of turning Oozaru now because of the current phase of the moon. 

So it’s safe. Safe for what Goku’s doing that night. 

“Hey Vegeta,” Goku says softly to the moon above him. “It’s time to say goodbye.”

_I’m sorry I couldn't save you._

Goku’s not talking about his Vegeta, and for that he’s grateful. 

And for that gratitude, he feels haunting guilt.

Tomorrow is Goku’s onboarding as a Galactic Patrol agent, so he’s spent the day with his sons and Chichi, making sure nothing is amiss between them before he leaves. Making sure everyone knows they matter, making sure they know how much he cares.

But right now, for this exact moment, Goku needs to be alone.

His private conversation with Merus that day after their briefing is still fresh in his mind.

_“...There’s something I still don’t understand,'' Goku ventures hesitantly. “Why’d… the other-Vegeta fade away like that?”_

_This is the first time Goku sees Merus looking sad. “I cannot claim to know for certain, Son Goku. But… I can venture a guess. Alternate Vegeta’s life force was bound to Fu - that is the only reason he has survived this long. Once Fu’s life force stopped supporting him, his body failed, and he... disintegrated.” The agent pauses._

_Goku’ s heart clenches and he looks away._

_If th_ _at had been his Vegeta... a shudder ripples through him. “Even though my Vegeta’s still here… I…” still **feel sad,** Goku wants to say, what a waste of life, what a pointless death. _

_“I understand, Son Goku. You do not need to say more.” Merus’ tone is kind._ _“You must not blame yourself, however. Cruel as it may be, his death should have been years and years ago, in his own timeline, with its own laws of reality.”_

_The words make Goku think of something so horrible that panic and nausea rise simultaneously. “Merus. Does that mean… other-Vegeta ...doesn’t get to go to the afterlife? What happens to his soul?”_

_Merus solemn eyes neither confirm nor deny, but Goku’s heart shatters anyway._

_Goku’s eyes abruptly feel hot and bright. Merus respectfully doesn’t comment, something which Goku is thankful for --because_ _all saiyans have pride in different forms, even him._

_Instead Merus continues to speak, his voice light. “Son Goku, I have observed and worked with Agent V - ah, Prince Vegeta... for the equivalent of 3 of your Earth years.”_

_“I bet that was an experience.” Goku attempts a smile. Lands in the neighborhood of one. In whatever universe, whatever timeline, it’s hard for him to see Vegeta as anything short of amazing, impossible to dismiss, impossible to forget. Short pun intended._

_Merus returns Goku’s smile with some amusement. “An experience indeed, and a privilege.”_

_“Probably a pain sometimes too.” The agent’s smile turns into a laugh._

_“I will agree that Agent V is known for being headstrong. Truly, in all that time, this is the happiest I’ve seen him. He is a gem.” Merus’ voice turns serious. “As are you, Son Goku. Look out for each other.”_

Goku intends to.

Looking back, Goku realizes what Merus was trying to do then in that conversation. Subtly reminding him of who is there, without dismissing who is gone. Reminding Goku to move forward to the next adventure, as Goku always has. 

Goku appreciates it. 

(It doesn’t mean he can’t grieve.)

 _“Not your fault,_ ” the fading eyes framed by bangs had whispered at him, but this isn't about faults. It’s about could have beens. The fact that because one Vegeta is here, with Goku, it’s very easy for Goku to forget the tragedy of the other prince, the lost one.

What are people but the sum of their actions and choices? Did their intentions matter?

All the things Goku gets to share with his Vegeta now are things the lost one never had a chance to. The liberating spars, calm evenings spent in each other’s company, secret jokes, a tilt of the lips in amusement.

His Vegeta had the chance to go from enemy to loose cannon to one of the ace of the Dragon Team. Other-Vegeta... didn't.

His Vegeta was living proof that no matter how bad your past is, your future can still be full of hope.

Other-Vegeta was _dead._

A lost soul, all the power and ferocity had gone to waste.

For him to die like that in Goku’s arms, not having a chance to live. Not having the chance to be loved, to change like his Vegeta did? It was - not fair.

_Vegeta…_

_I’m so sorry you didn’t get a chance at a better life…_

_I wish I had known you were going to be a short chapter in mine._

The thought makes Goku sad. 

But he can’t talk about this with his Vegeta, - because what kind of message would that be? “ _Vegeta, you’re right here, but I watched other-you disintegrate in my arms, and I still can’t get over it. “_

Maybe Goku’s being paranoid, but it’s like implying Vegeta as he is isn’t enough, and given the fragile ground with the new… thing between them, Goku doesn’t want to risk it.

So, Goku’s chosen to be alone tonight. To perform the send-off, the "The _ **Ruka'a Cahaya**_.

Scaling the highest peak of his planet barefoot. Stripped of ki and enhanced defenses, on the night of the crescent moon. To perform this send-off ritual alone. To honor other-Vegeta’s memory before it gets washed away in time. 

Because he is Vegeta _**still.**_ From another timeline, from another universe, but Vegeta nonetheless.

_You never had a chance to be anything else..._

_I’m sorry I couldn’t save you._

_But the other you, he’s doing good. And I'm so proud of him, I'm so proud of both of you._

There's this misconception that grief only happens when you lose people, but Goku thinks it's not true. One can grieve lost relationships and missed opportunities. And that is what Goku feels now as he stares up at the moon. Other-Vegeta died honorably, but... still, he was gone.

The memory of that first spar in the sunset after all the time apart; the harsh melody of his Vegeta’s voice story-telling their lost people’s ways, seem to reverberate in the air as Goku climbs.

**_“For Saiyans, the dead are not considered to have passed away.” Vegeta’s voice is strong, not the slightest tremor despite the painful subject, and Goku can’t help but fall a little more for this fierce, proud Prince. His Prince. “They instead ‘fight on,’ implying the continuation of a journey rather than an end point.”_ **

Goku thinks he can relate to that, as he unravels his tail to balance himself before reaching the next rock formation. No goodbyes, no yesteryears on the road. Only the next adventure, the next challenge to push through their limits.

_“So, it’s not really grieving, is it?” Goku had questioned._

_“Yes, Kakarot. In a sense this is not so much a grieving ritual but an observance of life ceremony, a warrior’s send-off.”_

**_“The sender undertakes a journey on the night of a crescent moon. This particular phase is to symbolise a cycle completed, a warrior’s fight concluded, fading away of doubt.”_ **

As Goku scales the ridge bordering what is probably the sheerest drop he’s ever seen, he thinks of a royal saiyan heritage lost forever to memory; at least in one timeline. 

**_“The sender is to suppress their ki and enhanced defenses, in respect of the one who has gone to ‘fight on’ without a physical body. They travel up through all the ridges to the highest point in the planet. This is to symbolise struggle, embracing challenge. Fighting the good fight, in honour of the one who has gone to “fight on.”_ **

Only a little ways left, and Goku would be at the summit. Even as his lungs begin to burn from the exertion and thinner air, he doesn’t feel that he’s put enough effort. Doesn’t feel like he’s had enough of the challenge.

But then, other-Vegeta had been cheated of life annd time, too. No amount of time in the world would have been enough for this kind of adventure, really. 

The image of sharp eyes, lips tilting up in a haughty smirk. Eyes no longer so cold and ruthless, but somehow still as powerful. A presence that cannot be denied or ignored. Bangs, or no bangs. The proud Prince Vegeta.

Even in his sadness, in the pale fall of the moonlight, Goku can’t help a fond smile.

_You’ve come so far, Vegeta. Both of you have._

Goku’s foot slips right then. This high up, without ki to blanket him, it wouldn’t have been a bad fall but still a _painful_ one if a gloved hand hadn’t reached out in that exact moment to catch him. 

“Vegeta,” Goku breathes out, looking up into dark eyes. 

“I knew you’d be here, Kakarot,” Vegeta says dryly, as he pulls Goku back up the rocky outcrop.

Goku probably could have caught himself easily even with his ki suppressed and defenses lowered, but the thing is- the _**point** _is, with Vegeta, he doesn’t have to.

He's righted his footing but their hands linger on each other's, neither letting go. Goku’s quietly aware of his tail unwinding, tension bleeding out from the fur, soothed by Vegeta’s touch.

“What… what are you doing here, Vegeta?” Goku’s sure his racing heartbeat isn’t just to do with exertion - everyday he sees Vegeta still feels as exciting as the first time they’d met again. _Do you know why I'm here?_

“Hmph. ” A light flick of Vegeta’s fur against his elbow. “Please, Kakarot. I know what you're doing. Did you think you could hide that? You weren’t subtle.”

“I wasn’t trying to be,” It’s true, Goku hasn’t been trying to hide it, just actively not mentioning it. “So, why are you here?”

“I’m making sure you don’t mess it up, or do something more idiotic than usual.”

“I’m doomed, then.” It’s easy to throw back the banter, but inside he’s reeling slightly. In Vegeta-speak, that had meant, _I'm not going to let you do this alone, you idiot._ It makes Goku feel giddy. 

He has to ask Vegeta. “Is… does it make you uncomfortable?”

A raised eyebrow. “What, you almost killing yourself days after we’d just pulled off another unlikely miracle? Kakarot, mad is the accurate word.”

“You’re always mad, Vegeta, I might as well make the most of it.” Goku quips, but he had to make sure because Vegeta's feelings mattered. “You know what I mean. Does it make you uncomfortable that I’m sending off the other you?”

“...You are such a sap, Kakarot,” Vegeta complains, but his tail betrays his true feelings by wrapping around Goku’s waist. Goku adores it when he does that - it always makes him feel safe. 

**_“At the summit, the Sender is to perform a kata, the flow to represent the spirit of the one who fights on.”_ **

When Goku and Vegeta perform the **Ruka'a** , they weave around each other, in the very specific, elegant flow of the kata that symbolises the tide and ebb of battle, they don’t talk. This is the lost Vegeta’s send-off; this moment is not about them.

(...but it kind of **_is_ **, both a lost beginning and an end that continues onward.) 

\------

“I… hate how it happened,” Goku says later, as they begin their descent. “...but I’m glad it turned out this way.” 

“What do you mean?” Vegeta's gaze was openly curious. It still made Goku heady, to be allowed that kind of openness.

“If Fu never came to earth, you’d probably still be in space.” Goku bumps his shoulder against Vegeta’s. “I’d probably still be looking for you.” 

“Hm.” Vegeta’s scrutinizing Goku again. Goku gets the alien urge to hide.

Maybe it’s their mental link, maybe it’s their shared life force, maybe it’s just them, but he feels at that moment Vegeta can see right through him.

“...Kakarot. You don’t have to hide, or try make yourself feel better.”

“...What?”

“You’re feeling sad. You’re trying to make yourself feel better by telling yourself what’s good about the situation.” Vegeta draws his tail against Goku’s arm, the motion not gentle, but reassuring. “You don’t have to do that. Not to yourself and not with me.”

“Vegeta-”

The prince talks over him. “A terrible question that likely shouldn’t be asked, but I’m going to ask it anyway.”

Goku doesn’t even bother bracing himself - he knows Vegeta’s abrasive tongue, loves him in spite and because of it anyway. “What is it?”

“Who should be more grateful, me or Other-me?”

“...What do you mean?”

“I am to face my dues with the Galactic Patrol, effectively once again a servant of some other greater notion of 'justice.'" Vegeta's voice is factual, not self-pitying. "Meanwhile, Other-me stopped being a slave to an enemy, even if he had to die to get there. So, who of us should be more grateful?”

Wow. Goku exhales. “You’re right, Vegeta, that was a terrible question.”

“Well, I tried." Vegeta shrugs. “I’m no good with reassurance, Kakarot. At least the other-me got to achieve Super Saiyan 4, whatever corrupted version of it that was. He even surpassed us both.”

Goku waves it away. "It's only a matter of time before we get there too," he says. Vegeta gives him a long-suffering look, but doesn't argue.

Goku's all for strength, but even he's learnt that transformations take different forms, and the best doesn't always mean increased power. One of the best transformations he'd seen is the one of something bad to something better. And the epitome of them is glaring at him this very minute, looking like the world’s cutest storm. 

“You know, at this point, I’ve figured there’s far better transformations than the next Super Saiyan,” Goku muses aloud.

Vegeta’s expression is now basically a shout of _what_ , so Goku has to repress the urge to chuckle. “Is that so. Like what?” Vegeta idly challenges him, more out of force of habit than anything else.

“Like you.” Goku gently draws his tail around Vegeta, drawing him close. Vegeta’s clearly taken aback by the sudden affectionate gesture, but he doesn’t push it away, something which makes Goku very happy. “How much you changed, how far you’ve come. I really think you’re the best of us.”

“You constantly insist on believing the best of me, Kakarot. Always too trusting.”

“Well, nothing I say or do will make you think differently, so why should I bother changing it?”

Vegeta’s pause is heavy. "Is that supposed to be an argument in your favour? Because it doesn’t even make sense, Kakarot."

Oh. This is familiar. Goku smiles playfully. “No, it’s in yours.” A disbelieving snort. Goku flicks Vegeta's forehead lightly with his tail, grinning at the sound of protest Vegeta makes.

(Tails are amazing, they say so much with so little. Goku's happy he got his back.)

Goku thinks of the other-Vegeta who facilitated this, even if indirectly.

 _I failed you, but I'm going to take care of you now,_ he vows. 

Present-time Vegeta’s nose wrinkles in _utter_ disgust. Whoops. Goku must have accidentally transmitted that. “You don’t _take care_ of me, or protect me, or whatever it is, Kakarot. Unless you're trying to piss me off. I’m your _**equal**_ , not another person to save."

“I didn't mean it that way, and you know it." Because Vegeta did. "I know you’d do the same for me.”

“...You’re a sentimental idiot as always, Kakarot.”

Goku feels the heat rising to his face at what he’s about to say next, but he’s never been a coward, so he’s going to say it. “I’m… your sentimental idiot?” he offers, simultaneously cheeky and shy at once.

Vegeta’s scowl doesn’t even flicker, but his eyes definitely soften. In the pale light of the moon… he’s beautiful. 

Goku doesn't tell Vegeta, less he risks getting pummeled to death or pushed off the cliff.

\---

The next day, onboarding the ship.

“Whatcha think?”

Vegeta looks up. Kakarot is dressed in a form fitting, short sleeved black bodysuit that shows off his muscular arms. The prince’s mouth goes dry, --and he has to swallow several times.

Vegeta coughs. “You… uh, look..." _good_ "- fighting fit.”

Kakarot grins a little shyly at him. “So do you!” He motions to Vegeta’s new armor, complete with a circular bracket to protect his neck. Kakarot had been the one to request that particular modification from Bulma, and neither of them had needed to discuss why. 

Vegeta’s grateful.

“Red is… an interesting choice of colour for your gi, Kakarot.”

“It’s a tribute to Agent V.” Kakarot’s grin widens at Vegeta’s expression, and it’s impressive how level his voice is when he says the next bit. “And… well. The other you.” The shade is not crimson, but it'll do.

“...Kakarot…”

Kakarot’s smile is a bit sad. “Ah, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up…”

“-No, you idiot.” Vegeta’s tail wraps around Kakarot’s arm, tugging him close. “Come here.”

Vegeta leans up to whisper something in Kakarot’s ear, something he’d never fully verbalised to the other Saiyan. Probably Kakarot being the damned Vegeta radar he is would have seen it already, but that doesn’t mean Vegeta doesn’t need to say it.

Vegeta’s blushing something fierce, but the way Kakarot’s eyes light up, the way the tinge of melancholy melts from his face, makes it worth the embarrassment.

* * *

* * *

There are things Goku never tells Vegeta. 

He doesn’t think he can ever tell Vegeta about how their shared life force has knocked some years off his life. Saiyans live a long time anyway, it didn’t matter, and doesn't.

There are things Vegeta never tells Goku.

He doesn’t think he would ever tell Goku just how relieved he’d been, for hardly a moment, hardly a breath, that it was going to be over. That he wouldn’t have to keep living with the pain and regret of having failed so many people.

And how **much more** of a relief it is now, that it turned out this way, that he doesn’t have to be alone anymore because this stubborn idiot rival (lover) of his refuses to leave him.

There are things they never tell eachother, but they know anyway.

**_We can’t return it to how it was, but we can build on this._ **

* * *

_For the lost one_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next, the epilogue CHAPTER 12:  
> Aboard the Galactic Patrol Ship, Goku and Vegeta become something of celebrities. The partnership between Prince Vegeta (alias Agent V) and Son Goku (alias Agent Goku) is a big conversation and source of excitement among the fleet. In such a space, one can either lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way, and both have never been anything but leaders.
> 
> (Prince) Vegeta, and (Kakarot) Son Goku, two cosmic forces who might have never been meant to meet, but somehow, collide into each other they do. A slice of life, and the journey forward.
> 
> \--I'm not expecting a lot of reviews or comments on this chapter (it's always appreciated though! mew!) because plot wise, it does nothing, but... I had to include it because. This chapter and other-Vegeta is actually my tribute and love letter to The Vegeta that Akira Toriyama had wanted to kill off on the Saiyan Saga, then in Namek. That is pretty much everything other-Vegeta represents. Can you imagine the WASTE, the utter loss to the fandom world that would have been? If Vegeta’s story had stopped there, Goku would have been so lost, not had his foil, and one of the greatest anime characters in history would have snuffed out of existence just like that. As silly as it is, in a sense, this is my tribute to the Vegeta's strength and Goku's compassion that inspires me everyday.  
> ALL HAIL MY PRINCE VEGETA. ALL HAIL THE LEGENDARY SUPER SAIYAN SON GOKU.
> 
> Re tail gestures: If you've watched DBS Broly the movie, Bardock Goku's dad keeps his tail tight/tense right until he meets Gine the love of his life. You can see how overjoyed they are to see each other straight from their facial expression, but if you watch their tails carefully you'll see how both of the tails unwind and waggle unconsciously like a happy cat/pup. It's sooooo cute and is a level of detail that I give kudos to the filmwriters for adding it. It inspired some bits of this XD watch that scene and imagine it's Goku and Vegeta! my heart <3


	12. Chiasmus: Prince Vegeta, Son Goku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aboard the Galactic Patrol Ship, Goku and Vegeta become something of celebrities. The partnership between Prince Vegeta (alias Agent V) and Son Goku (alias Agent Goku) is a big conversation and source of excitement among the fleet. 
> 
> (Prince) Vegeta, and (Kakarot) Son Goku, two cosmic forces who might have never been meant to meet, but somehow, collide into each other they do. A slice of life, and the journey forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chiasmus: a literary structure in which two clauses are balanced against each other by the reversal of their structures in order to produce an artistic effect. 
> 
> If the last chapter was goodbye, this chapter is about the journey forward.
> 
> Thank you so much to ALL the many kind souls who have helped supported me through this writing process - every friend, fellow writer, reviewer, if I named each on of you this would be way too long. I just want you to know how much I appreciate each and everyone of you, every review that pushed me to keep writing, every exchange of thought, every piece of love. I remember I very nearly binned this whole story on the 28th Dec 20- I'm glad I didn't, and each of you had a vital role to play. And for everyone who reads this years after I'm gone from the fandom, I hope you enjoyed the journey, thank you for your time and love :)

Epilogue: Chiasmus - soundtrack: [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/5vw9k10Zoujq0fVvcZ5BW7?si=7NvgBfGkQ7qBSabPaNcj9g) / [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YALLIkAmzl8)

* * *

**Agent Goku the Lead Instructor, Agent V the Strategist**

Aboard the Galactic Patrol Ship, Goku and Vegeta become something of celebrities. On such a stringent, operative force, one can either lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way, and Goku and Vegeta have never been anything but leaders.

The doors to the Code-Red Strategy meeting room slide open with a whoosh. Goku’s tail waves slightly, helping him adjust from the cold corridors of the Patrol Ship to the warmer air of the Strategy Room. 

Goku raises his ki slightly in a silent, friendly greeting. Present time Vegeta turns from where he’s been poring over some really, really complicated looking holo-diagrams with Merus and another agent. ast mission.

That deep scowl would have scared any intruder away, but the moment Vegeta sees Goku his eyes flicker with that little bit of warmth reserved only for Goku. It never fails to make Goku feel special. 

“Request to adjourn,” Vegeta murmurs to a distracted Merus, who glances at Gokus’s direction and waves Vegeta away with a knowing smile. 

Goku bounds towards Vegeta happily, tail unwinding. “Hey Vegeta.” A subtle brush of his tail against Vegeta’s forearm. 

Goku’s gotten better at not Instant Transmitting everywhere he pleases on the ship. He'd learnt from that one particularly memorable time he IT'ed on some very classified information that caused Vegeta to have to do some extensive damage control to curtail information leaks. 

They’d had a shouting match right there in the Strategy Room that day, with a very amused Agent Merus observing in the background. Reportedly all the younger cadets in the corridors whispered bets on how it was going to end: a physical showdown, or a kiss.

Vegeta’s still pissed off at him for that one. Goku chuckles. They’d set some boundaries since.

His smile widens when he feels the responding flick from Vegeta’s own tail. 

“What are you doing here, Kakarot?” 

Vegeta steadfastly refuses to **ever, ever** verbally call Goku anything but Kakarot again, except in heated times in the bedroom. To his apparent surprise, Goku had wholeheartedly agreed. 

“Looking for you. Missed you at the mess hall.” Goku winks, delighted when a hint of pink touches Vegeta’s cheek. That moment right then is pure Vegeta, morphing from “I’m glad to see you” to “I’m about to bash your face in” in the matter of seconds.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with the new recruits right now? Teaching… defense, wasn’t it?” Vegeta asks. 

“Nah, they’re all tired out after the morning session.” Goku feels a warmth blooming in his chest. Vegeta doesn’t say or show he cares very often, but Goku’s learned to read the language of Vegeta.

For one, the way Vegeta takes note of Goku’s schedule and makes sure he’s getting sustenance, even if Vegeta himself misses it due to his own work. Given the variety of personality and skill that the GP attracts, Goku reportedly has one of the most draining jobs on the ship as the Lead Instructor for the new Galactic Patrol recruits. 

Vegeta looks out for him to not burn out, but Goku thinks it should be the other way round, with Vegeta’s mentally draining strategy work. “How are you holding up, V? Long day?

“Mmm. Frustrating.” Another fundamental change between them: Vegeta is more open to share now, venting his frustrations as Goku’s tail traces soothing patterns onto his palms. “We’re not making any breakthroughs with…”

Goku doesn’t even **try** to understand a word of what Vegeta says next, because all of it’s about strategy and intel and resource planning - honestly, things that bore Goku to tears. Battle strategy he can do, he loves in fact, but outside that scope, it all blurs -and Goku’s really not interested in wiping it clear.

He’s always been heavily interested in Vegeta, though.

Vegeta’s good at it- Vegeta’s always been good at strategy and spotting openings and loopholes, which is why even as a “reforming convict” he has this role as the Lead Strategist for Command.

Vegeta says he detests it. Goku sees how: every time a meticulously planned mission goes well, especially the salvage and rescue ones - his eyes lose some of their brooding edge... and thus knows better.

“... unless we counter with-” Vegeta breaks off, scowling at him. “You’re not even listening, Kakarot.” 

“Hehe. Sorry. I just … really like hearing you talk.” Goku could listen to the lifts and falls of Vegeta’s gruff voice forever.

That pink tinge has definitely spread now, hehe, score. Even when he’s looking ready to murder, Goku finds Vegeta really, really cute.

Goku’s tail unwittingly loops around Vegeta’s waist in an instinctive show of affection.

In their shared chambers, Vegeta’s surprisingly the more forward of the two of them in terms of affection: silent but demanding, befitting the prince he is. In the corridors of the spaceship, he’s much more reserved. 

To what might be widespread surprise, Goku’s actually shy too sometimes. He’s still learning their finer nuances of this... thing between them, but he’ll quite happily dance into teasing territory if it means seeing Vegeta’s warmer side more often.

“Kakarot,” Vegeta says warningly.

“Sorry, I’m not trying to rile you up.” A subtle brush in apology. “Just missed you.”

“I’ve not been gone that long, Kakarot.” 

“Yeah, but ... you were badly injured Vegeta.”

They’d been separated in the last mission. Goku had come back with stinging injuries that took forever to close, even with the Saiyan’s healing factor. But he’s completely fine, he got injured all the time, nothing to worry about.

 _Vegeta_ had gone missing and came back several days later than he was scheduled, half unconscious with a broken leg that wouldn’t set without some elite healing magic. 

If not for the constant contact of their shared mental link, Goku would have been ready to tear the spaceship apart to go to Vegeta.

\----

 _“Kakarot, I mean it -_ _if you come here in the state you are, I’ll finish the damn job myself-_

_“Easy for you to say! You’re the one on the battlefield, not the one on the ship! I wanna come fight!”_

_“You’re not in any state to-”_

_“I’m fine!”_

_“A torn up gut does not equate to fine, Kakarot, regardless of what you might think-”_

_“I can fight! It’s never stopped me before!”_

_“No, I’m the one stopping_ **_you_ ** _.” Some amusement carried through Vegeta’s mental tone._

_“When has that ever worked?” Goku threw at him, because really, Vegeta should know better by now._

_“You stubborn-”_

_“Hypocrite,” Goku accused. He’d learnt that from Vegeta, it was a nice term to throw around._

_“Am not.”_

_“Am too.”_

_“Am- I’m not engaging in this childish behaviour with you.”_

_“Because you know you’d lose!”_

_A scoff. Even Vegeta’s mental voice sounded exasperated. “Kakarot, doesn’t it hurt when you talk?”_

_“I bet it hurts you more.”_

_Sputtered laughter. Vegeta attempted to be stern again. “I am going to handle this, Kakarot. Stay. Put. Or else.”_

_“You know you really can’t make me.”_

_“Kakarot, I don’t try to fight your battles for you, so the least you can do for me is the same.”_

_A pause. Goku has lost. But he would raise the stakes. “Okay, fine, but only if you keep the link open.”_

_“What? Kakarot-”_

_“Keep the link open, Vegeta,” because Goku fully intends on sharing energy as and where he can- with their shared life bond thing, they could always go all out in battles and still have each other’s reserves and energy as backup._

_Goku would forever be able to give Vegeta support even from a distance, and Vegeta the reverse._

_Thing is, sometimes giving is much much easier than receiving, for two such proud creatures. Both were loath to use it, but both wouldn’t hesitate to have each other use it._

_Vegeta’s thoughts broadcasted ire. “ I don’t -“_

_“And you’d better stay in contact or I’ll go there to you right now and there won’t even be any point to us arguing.”_

_“You insufferable -Fine!”_

\---

When Vegeta makes it back, the first thing Goku tries to do is hug him right there in the landing root, a desperate reaction which Vegeta humors. The second thing is to drag him to the medbay.

“Wait- wait,” Gloved hands scrabble against Goku’s chest, Goku takes the opportunity to just capture one and lace their fingers. He knows Vegeta secretly likes it when he does this- the prince admitted to it, one vulnerable night. “Kakarot- I need to go report-”

“Vegeta, are you serious?! The **last** thing I’m worried about is the report right now, you’re bleeding out!”

Vegeta looks like he’s trying to set Goku on fire just by his fierce gaze. “This is important information, and we need proof -”

“Vegeta, proof is in the part where we made it out **alive**!” Goku’s not budging - Vegeta’s stubborn, but Goku can more than match him and they both know it. 

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who writes the mission reports-” Vegeta hisses.

“-I’m the one who makes sure you actually live to write them-”

“-rich coming from the one with the martyr complex, Kakarot-”

“-I don’t even know what that _means-“_

”Funny because it literally describes your **_damn life-_ ** you do it every damn **_day-“_ **

It’s still very much a learning process, finding their ways around boundaries and thorns of their shared history. But Goku honestly thinks - he can live the rest of his days quite happily like this with Vegeta, challenging and protecting each other, growing stronger together.

* * *

Despite all the time they’ve known each other, Goku never ceases to amaze Vegeta. Even when Vegeta knows what to expect.

On the Galactic Patrol spaceship, Goku rises easily through the ranks, as Vegeta had three years ago when he first joined the force. Goku’s natural knack for quickly picking up things that interest him, combined with the distinct advantage of having Vegeta’s guidance (Vegeta prefers to think of it as friendly heckling) for the more boring red tape bits means that in less than four months, Goku is of the same ranking as Vegeta, a feat unheard of in the fleet.

Up and down the corridors of the Galactic Ship, whispers of admiration fly. “Agent Goku’s so talented!” “Yeah, I heard he’s like Agent V!” “No, he got Elite even faster than Agent V did!”

Vegeta… doesn’t mind. In fact, he’s almost… proud. 

It’s nothing less than expected of the man who’s both Vegeta’s fiercest rival and greatest Saiyan warrior and… whatever else they are.

The day Goku receives his letter of appointment to join the Elite rank in Vegeta’s team is the same day he masters the Oozaru form.Vegeta finds to his mortification that he can’t stop smiling.

It terrifies many of the agents who aren’t used to seeing a smiley Vegeta, to the point they ask Merus if they should start ducking for cover .

_“Is something about to explode?”_

_“Is Agent V planning on killing everyone?”_

Goku’s still laughing at him for this. Vegeta’s still punching him every time the idiot opens his mouth with that particular look.

The... partnership between Agent V and Agent Goku is a big conversation and source of excitement among the fleet.

For the most part, Vegeta ignores it. It’s inevitable, really, given his big reputation both as the competent Agent V and the notorious Prince Vegeta, matched with Goku’s own emerging prominence.

Goku, like the little tease he is, takes all the opportunity he can to --what is that Earth phrase? _To take the mickey_ out of the whole situation. 

Kakarot’s taken to calling him from Vegeta to V over the years. 

Well, at least one of them is having fun. Vegeta would never ever admit it, but that mischievous smile never fails to soothe his stormy moods. 

* * *

Some weeks later, Goku and Vegeta take their first leave week as Galactic Patrol Agents.

“You’ve never taken any off-days before, Vegeta? Seriously, _for three years_?”

“What would have been the point? I would be training anyway.”

“Well, we’re taking one next week,” Goku declares determinedly. “I’ll force it down your throat if I have to, Vegeta.”

Vegeta’s oddly silent. It’s only when Goku’s got a mouthful of the Galactic Patrol’s equivalent of meatballs that he speaks. “I can think of far more interesting things you could shove down my throat, Kakarot.” 

Goku chokes.

He gets his revenge the next morning, though he’s not sure Vegeta would call it revenge. When they’re about to leave, Vegeta gets accosted by some last minute official business. Goku loves Vegeta more than most things most of the time, but this is the kind of torture he’s not willing to stick around for. Cheerily waving away a glaring Vegeta, he pops out of the ship. Vegeta can follow him later.

Bulma meets Goku out when he materialises, not jumping, because for once he’s had the foresight to call and warn her. “I hope that you two have been staying out of trouble,” Bulma says.

Goku outright laughs at her. “I hope you’re not hoping too hard.”

“Sadly, I’ve known you two too long to disappoint myself, Goku. Where’s Vegeta?”

“He’ll be by in a second, he can teleport himself now,” Goku says vaguely. 

“Oh has he?” Bulma asked interestedly, scientific curiosity lighting her gaze. Goku couldn’t help but smile -his oldest friend hadn’t changed one bit. “How about that next form you two are always going on about?”

“That’s going to take us a while, I think, Bulma.” Goku thinks of the two enigmatic figures Merus had introduced them to last week. “Maybe Whis and Beerus will be able to help us unlock it.” 

Hmmm.. on second thought. Goku’s thoughts whirred. This is the **perfect** time for him to test that new technique he and Vegeta had been working on…

Impulses, hello. It was at least half Vegeta’s fault for enabling him.

“Bulma, the Capsule Corp’s yard still has a protective shield, right?” Goku asks casually.

Bulma immediately looks concerned. “That… is not the single most terrifying thing you’ve started a conversation with, Goku, but it’s close. Why?”

Goku casts a ki barrier around her quietly. “Stay back for a bit, okay? I’m going to try something.”

“Wait, Goku-”

“Stay back-”

Seconds later, a large explosion of light. Crackling barriers. Energy draining like water. 

His head was spinning, enough that his knees buckled, unable to hold his weight.

Oop. Goku doesn’t think that’s gone right...

Bulma cautiously approaches“...What happened there?”

Goku swallows, his throat so dry it hurt. "I think I—"

His words break off in startlement at the sudden burst of a familiar ki behind him. Vegeta materializes, looking disheveled, hair wild but still attractive as ever.

"What’s going on?!”

“Nothing, I-”

Vegeta’s gaze lasered on Goku immediately. “The fuck was that, Kakarot?!" Vegeta demands, eyes fierce. His tail lashes behind him, bristling all the way from tip to base.

Despite the abrasiveness, the very mannerism is Vegeta-speak for _Are you okay?!_ Under normal circumstances Goku would have found it cute, even amusing, maybe. But right then there’s a strange, almost unreasonable sensation in Goku’s chest- it feels foreign, but it’s so very strong. 

"I’m fine." Goku snaps, before Vegeta sets the whole Capsule Corp backyard on fire with his blasting aura. "Or I was until you gave me a heart attack!"

"I gave YOU a heart attack?" Vegeta’s voice rises, brows drawing tight together in a scowl. "Do you know what that felt like, Kakarot?”

"You're so dramatic, Vegeta-”

"You drained HALF THE KI OUT OF MY BODY!" Vegeta shouts at him. Upon closer look Goku realises abruptly that Vegeta’s frame is shaking, but what he assumed to be anger initially is also fatigue.

"Both of you stop!" Bulma's stern voice freezes both of them for a second, stalling the argument. "Calm down, you're both panicking. Whatever Goku did, yelling won't help it."

"Right," Vegeta mutters, swiping a hand over his face. He presses his other hand against his chest, like his heart hurt. The next words are quieter. _"I think the link's still open, Kakarot."_

In fact, the words weren’t even voiced out.

"A-ah." Goku feels it now that his anger slowly dies down, his own adrenaline feeding into Vegeta's panic in an awful feedback loop. 

He tries to take a deep breath to slow his heart rate, but it takes until the third inhale for his chest to loosen up enough to draw a full breath. Vegeta sits on the grass next to him.

Though his features are still set in a scowl, Vegeta’s gaze is intent, probably scanning Goku for injuries. Goku can’t help it - the intensity of Vegeta’s obvious protectiveness while uninvited, makes his smile soften.

“Hey... I’m okay,” Goku’s tail winds loosely around Vegeta’s forearm.

“You’d say that on your deathbed, Kakarot.”

“Earth has this saying about a pot and a kettle…”

“I’m not as bad as you are!”

“I’m sure Bulma disagrees.”

“She does,” Bulma agrees.

“Stop validating him, woman.”

“Why? Goku’s right,” Bulma says. Goku grins triumphantly at Vegeta.

“You two are always ganging up against me.” Vegeta scowls. 

Goku pats him on the shoulder in consolation. “You make it too fun, Vegeta.” 

Once upon a time Vegeta would have gone flying off in a storm of rage had he been made fun of, even in good nature. Now, Goku just feels his heart swelling as he watches Vegeta continue to bicker with Bulma. 

How far their journeys have led them. How far left to go.

There are even further ways to go, with that elusive next Super Saiyan form, and these new godly teachers of theirs Merus introduced. The way their life forces are bound together now, whatever that means for their future-- Goku’s sure they can use this somehow, can already think of ways it could be an advantage in battle.

But for once, for now, Goku’s content with what he has.

* * *

**A couple of weeks later, back on the Galactic Patrol spaceship**

At the tail end of a particularly disastrous strategy meeting with the most **_obstinate_ **diplomats and agents Vegeta’s ever had to deal with sans himself at the other end of the table. Vegeta’s nerves are on fire, and there is a sour taste in his mouth. 

He bids Merus a terse goodbye and walks quickly to the other edge of the ship. His tail’s loose and lashing randomly, enough of a sign for other agents to stay the **_hell_** away.

Vegeta needs - 

He needs -

He needs to see Goku, before he smashes something or someone on the deck, and ends up in disciplinary action. Not that Vegeta cares about the damage, really, but - he’s still technically serving a sentence for genocide, after all. Ridiculous as the idea was.

And this way, two people end up in blood sweat and tears the fun way, rather than the counterproductive way.

The doors to the training deck for new recruits swishes open. Vegeta steps in just in time to watch Gokut throw a cadet down in a graceful Judo-esque flip. The cadet rolls away, only narrowly avoiding the follow up punch to his face.

Of course Goku notices Vegeta immediately- they’re able to sense each other anywhere in the universe now, with the shared life force and all. The younger Saiyan catches Vegeta’s eyes, beaming widely. A moment later he lets out a yelp as the cadet attempts to hook his foot from underneath, almost sending him sprawling.

Vegeta smirks at them both. Serves Goku right for being distracted. “Terrorising the new recruits, I see,” he says to Goku, who shrugs.

“Nah, that’s your hobby- I’m just whipping them into shape.” 

“Not certain who’s getting whipped here, Kakarot,” Vegeta drawls, deadpan. But there’s a smirk at the corner of his lips, and he can’t squash it, try as he might. “Looks like it’s you.”

Goku doesn’t even miss a beat- he recognizes the gleam in Vegeta’s eyes straight away, the pent up tension. Goku knows him too well. “Nah,” Never one to back down from a challenge, Goku ups the stakes. “If you got in the ring, it would be you.”

The trainee agents scamper quickly. Most of them have learned through painful experience not to be within the perimeter when Agent V and Agent Goku are having a sparring session.

Vegeta’s smirk widens, excitement growing as Kakarot sinks into the perfect combat stance, no openings in his defense. He recognizes this, oh yes.

Gracefully, elegantly, Vegeta falls into his own.

It’s a fighting style the both of them have worked on and perfected together, a combination of their shared battle history. 

This fighting style incorporates their entire accumulated experience. That of the Saiyan nobility. The Turtle Hermit school. Vegeta’s own ruthless do- whatever -it -takes -as -long -as- I- survive- this- PTO- shithole ruthlessness. Kakarot’s natural flightiness. The North Kai style. Yardrat. Whatever random assortment of moves Kakarot picked up in the Otherworld. Even some elements from the unfamiliar pattern of movements both Saiyans have been adjusting to under their new teacher, the enigmatic Angel Whis.

This is something only the two of them share, Prince Vegeta and Kakarot, Son Goku and Vegeta, forever dancing around each other’s orbit like the starstuff they are.

The whole flow is very much a tribute and summary of their shared experience getting injured and rising through impossible odds together, and Vegeta admits- he’s-

\-- proud of it. Treasures it. Treasure this.

Goku matches him strike- for-strike, blow-for-blow. Knee met kick, exchange of fists, and **_oh_ **, how did Vegeta ever ever walk away from this gloriousness?

By the time they’re locked in the last grapple, Vegeta glances around and realizes -they’ve gathered an audience.

Goku’s grinning fiercely at him, the contrast of feral power and pure affection in his eyes as they strain against each other. Something in Vegeta’s chest skips, swells.

The lapse in focus is a foolish mistake. Suddenly Vegeta’s blinking up at Goku from his place on the floor. 

“Had enough, Vegeta?” Goku taunts.

 _Never enough of you._ “I’m just getting started,” Vegeta snarls instead, but it comes out more playful than he’s like.

Oh, this is every bit as enchanting as the first time they’d faced off in those cliffs- a warrior prince and the unexpected legendary.

Later in their chambers, Goku’s exhaustion hits him hard. Even an energetic bundle like him can be drained from a full day of training the large batch of nervous new recruits, apparently.The younger saiyan manages an impressive imitation of a noodle the moment he hits the mattress.

Vegeta sits quietly, threading his bare fingers through Goku’s hair _just_ in the rhythm he knows Goku appreciates. Goku murmurs something contentedly, and in a few moments, he’s passed out.

Vegeta’s tired too, but too wired to follow Goku into the realm of sleep. He doesn’t know how long he stays there, silently watching Goku as he dozes. 

Long enough that the artificial pre-dawn light begins to wash over the room they share in the Galactic Patrol’s ship. Its glow lends a soft touch to everything. 

Vegeta’s not one for sentimental bullshit usually, but in the ethereal light, even his prickly guardedness is lowered. 

Little rays of light fall upon Goku’s face, highlighting the spikes of his hair, the softness of his face in sleep. And Vegeta can’t help but think of just how... angelic he looked, right then. 

_Ugh, I’ve become such a sap._ Gloveless hands sweep the bangs covering Goku’s forehead aside. _Goku, this is all your fault._

Vegeta leans over and gently brushes his lips against Goku’s temple. There were no eyes here, no one’s watching anyway, right? He could allow himself this.

_Look what you’ve done, bastard. Always getting me to become something I’m not._

He’s… allowed to have tender moments. Sometimes. 

It’s okay. Right?

_A murderer like me..._

In truth, despite his serving of the Galactic Patrol...it feels like Vegeta’s still getting off lightly. 

A gentle pressure grazing the side of his face. Vegeta blinks, gaze focusing down to look at Goku, whose eyes are still heavy from sleep. 

“Mm,” Goku murmurs something, and now it's his hands sifting up through Vegeta’s hair. Hands that could destroy a planet were tenderly holding Vegeta like he was something… precious. It feels good, calming. 

“Hey,” Goku’s gaze is very soft. “It’s okay.”

“What is?” Vegeta asks him, drawing away slightly. In response, Goku reaches just enough to touch his forehead against Vegeta’s, bumping their noses together.

It’s probably telling that he doesn’t even answer the question. “Stop thinking so much… It’s just us.”

“It’s never ‘ _just’_ anything when it’s you, Kakarot.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Goku attempts a sleepy smirk at Vegeta, eyes gleaming in playful challenge. 

As always, Vegeta hates to realise he loves it. It never fails to set him on fire, never fails to make him want to rise to the occasion. 

The feeling of fur against his own. Tails twining together, intimate like a secret. The beginning of a very different kind of heat simmering in the air. Their relationship had always been physical, but this is a kind of physical both of them were still getting used to. From the tentativeness of their first time exploring to this point.

“Come on, Vegeta,” Goku whines softly.

Vegeta gives in, allowing their lips to brush. But Goku’s always challenged and matched him, like-for-like, and soon the kiss turns into something more full-bodied, Goku moaning as Vegeta teasingly licks at the corners of his mouth. Vegeta smirks into the kiss, teasing, relishing the rare, half-lidded gaze below him.

When he first met Goku all those years ago in all his arrogance and thirst for revenge, Never once did Vegeta imagine that one day he’d know how Goku looked like right after he’d just been kissed. 

Maybe his stars weren’t so negligent after all.

Another lapse in focus. -Suddenly Vegeta finds himself looking up at Goku instead, as the sneaky bastard bucks and wrestles them so that their positions are reversed. Goku pins his wrists on the bed, eyes dark with desire. And behind it, so brazen and obvious that Vegeta’s reeling, is... love.

A short gasp escaped Vegeta’s lips as Goku nuzzles his neck. Teeth lightly graze at the exact sensitive points the bastard knows Vegeta likes it best. Goku had been a quick learner always.

Vegeta tries to rally with an unimpressed scowl. Unfortunately, the way his tail now wraps loosely around Goku’s waist gives him away. 

Goku grins. “Rock paper scissors, V,” he whispers. The way his lips and breath tickle Vegeta’s ear. The gravelly tone of his voice. All of it makes Vegeta shudder. “You lost last time, so it’s my turn now.”

**_It’s my turn now._ **

Vegeta lets the tension drain from his body, suddenly pliant. “So it is.” He tilts his head _just so_ and lids his eyes, throwing the other Saiyan his best, most confident smirk. Goku turns slightly pink in the face. “Better not hold back on me now, Kakarot.”

“Sure you can take it?” A taunt, despite the discomfort. 

“I’m sure **_you_ ** can’t.” The words are haughty, but Vegeta knows his eyes are showing everything, he’s helpless to hide it. Not here in this private space between them, and definitely not from their mental link. “I’ve never been scared of you, Kakarot.”

No, he never has been. Instead, what Vegeta feels goes so much further. Obsession over the years has morphed into… what they’re making now.

Making love ( _ugh_ ), in all senses of the word.

* * *

They don’t leave the chambers until much, much later, after Vegeta’s the one who has Goku begging for release under him. It’s a good thing the walls of the Galactic Patrol’s ships are soundproof.

For both Vegeta and Goku, this companionship is a strange one. Neither of them are afraid to be alone, solitary creatures as Saiyans are, but that made their chosen company even more significant.

The thing is, Vegeta sees what they're creating, and he fears what they might destroy in the process. 

But - he **_trusts_** Goku, and he’s learning that it comes with trusting himself, too. Trusting this joruney they've taken, one of atonement and the other of adventure.

(Prince) Vegeta, and (Kakarot) Son Goku, two cosmic forces who were never meant to meet, who shouldn't work well together at all but somehow, they do. And so they continue to circle eachother's orbit , until that final moment they go out in a brilliant supernova.

* * *

Because I'm very sure some readers want this collage I created of Goku and Vegeta's most pivotal moments itself, here you go :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we come to the end. :'> is it silly to say I’m sad?
> 
> Writing Agent Oblivion helped me through depression, to have a reason to keep living the next day, and as the story and characters became more and more important, it also exerted its own pressure. Work and life is kicking up now, so I will be taking a short hiatus after KVweek is done. I have several fics in the works: a secret identity fic from Goku's side (which I've not seen done so I will do!), a Hunger Games Kakavege AU, and finally an inverted trope fic which I'm most excited about. Also, there is the current WIP Call It what You want which several people have asked to continue. Short to say, the journey's not over, I look forward to come back and I'll be back even if it takes a while:) 
> 
> For Agent Oblivion itself, there's enough threads for a sequel one fine day if ever coninued (That life force bond, the tail, the relationship with their families and the GP fleet is going to have repercussions...) Beyond that, I am thinking to do a companion series ficlet- in which I address Trunks' POV of the years Vegeta was gone and how his idealistic view of his father might have changed, just as Gohan's did; Merus' view on Agent V and mortals in general, Fu and Other-Vegeta's interactions, etc, it may be self indulgent but it would be for me to explore even if no one else wants to see. Is that something that intrigues you? Let me know if so !  
> AND going beyond "me-me-me", is SO MUCH good writing and talent in this fandom, I want you to know it's about to explode with good things from so many amazing fellow authors.  
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING WITH ME ON THIS JOURNEY. I HOPE YOU FELT AND ENJOYED THE ROLLERCOASTER AS I DID.  
> Until we meet again :)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Recognition](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27794011) by [TheRisingWing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRisingWing/pseuds/TheRisingWing)




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